Monday, March 09, 2009

Maybe I Misheard...

That's it.  Time to accept it.  I'm clearly getting old.  It's not the creaky knees or the sometimes overwhelming urge to tell anyone under the age of thirty all about how things were better back in my day.  Although I suppose those things are probably kind of telling in their own way...

Still, I'm really more concerned with the fact that I can no longer hear.  I am obviously going deaf and will soon be in the market for an ear trumpet.  I realize that there have been one or two new developments in hearing aid technology over the years, but I like to kick it old school when it comes to my Sassy Senior Accessories.

Last summer, right before school started, I realized that it was time for a new alarm clock.  I was no longer responding to the old one.  I'd had it since high school so I guess it had more than served its purpose.  I bought a new one that makes all kinds of cool noises like seagulls and roosters.  It is unique and easily heard above my own snoring.

I do think, however, that it would be more useful if I didn't take the crowing rooster sound as a "suggestion" rather than as a call to leave my bed.  This might help me to stay on schedule in the morning as opposed to racing around like a crazed maniac who doesn't have time to clean out the litter box.

I also clearly failed to fully understand the weather forecast.  We have a snow storm every Monday so I wasn't surprised when that came to pass.  But I thought I heard the nice meteorologist say something along the lines of "an inch."  I may have even heard the word, "dusting."  I knew that things would be a bit more exciting further south, but honestly wasn't prepared for the five inches of the stuff that we got in most areas.  I was especially unprepared given that the past weekend sported temperatures which allowed for open windows.  

And you can only imagine how much I wish I hadn't heard one of my colleagues say that she thought we might get out of school early today.  I knew we weren't going to get out early.  But I let myself get completely caught up in the whole idea of an early release.  That makes for a sad day.  A long sad day.  A long sad day right after we set the clocks ahead one hour for Daylight Savings Time and have to to do more Maine Educational Assessment testing.

A girl needs a little soothing after learning that she is going deaf and can no longer clearly hear Very Important Things like accurate weather forecasts and crowing-rooster-alarm-clocks.  She needs to spend some time with a sock-in-progress:




Socks don't care if you are going deaf.  Socks don't require that you be a good listener.  Socks are inanimate objects and cannot speak.  


Since it is Monday and I am getting old, the sock knitting occurred while I was riding the little exercise bike.  If I'm going to be all broken and rickety, I might as well have amazing quads to support all that non-functioning equipment.  Then I decided that a nice, hot bath might be in order.  I'd braved the roosters and the snow-covered roads...I deserved a good soak.

But then I heard what was obviously a herd of elephants in the living room.  I heard it as clearly as anything I've ever heard.  I even heard the unmistakable sound of furniture being displaced and gigantic feet stomping the nap right out of my freshly vacuumed carpets.  I quickly raced to the living room to try and tame the mighty beast.  Or call Animal Control to come get it.  I even practiced my speech about how they'd need The Really Big Net...

It was not an elephant.


It was just the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty and a Dollar Store Cat Cave.


In my defense, there was some displaced furniture.  I heard at least part of it right...

SA

13 comments:

trek said...

He may be a ginormous kitteh, but still, moving furniture?!

Karen said...

Your cat can move furniture?!? I think I'm a little scared...
That's a beauty of a sock.

Kath said...

I wish I could figure out how to record the sound of my cats galloping back & forth - I think ypu'd appreciate it! But if AGK is rearranging furniture, perhaps he is just showing an interest in interior decoration?

knitseashore said...

AGK is practicing his, "sound loud and scary in case the Zombies come to the door." Right?!

dangerousLee said...

Hola Annie! Cousin sheep dialing in from Nueva York. I don’t understand how my younger cousin can be getting older when I’m not. BTW, I don’t think you can afford ear trumpets on your teaching salary. My friend just got two and they were $ 5,550 for the pair. I’ll bet you can hear much better after reading that. No problem on the waking up part. Get yourself an alarm that plays CDs, crank it to full volume and set it to play Pink Floyd’s “Time”. I guarantee that you will wake up (I cannot guarantee that you won’t wake in heart failure, but you’ll wake up). I’m glad to hear that you are feeling better, even if it’s just the narcotics talking. I had the Cold From Hell for 42 days myself. Well, see you in May for the BBQ To End All BBQ’s. Bring the cheesy bread and I’ll bring my Double Chocolate- Chocolate Chunk Peanut Butter Dream Bars for their Maine debut!

Beth said...

Displaced furniture - that's alarming!

PICAdrienne said...

My mom picked up one of her kitties this evening. She believes this kitty may have gained a bit of weight over the winter. We believe she is weighing in about 18pounds. I believe if she wanted to displace furniture, she is more than capable.

The sock is very cool.

Mia said...

well.. if it's any consolation, I came out this morning to find out that my own 20 pound AGK knocked over the lamp. And I never heard a thing :)

So I believe you - of COURSE cats can move furniture :)

Julie said...

The snow kind of took me by surprise to (and not the good kind of surprise either!)


I seem to remember some talk a while back about moving south - my bags are packed; where are you?

Julie said...

*too (I really do know the difference between to, too, and two.)

Donna Lee said...

Snow? After the spring like weekend? I guess I shouldn't be surprised since winter is trying to hold on long after it should have gone to bed. Just like a little kid. Staying up too late and getting all cranky. Today it's 40 degrees and cloudy with rain coming. I want my 68 degrees with sunshine back!

Lynne said...

I completely understand; our Not-Too-Ginormous-But-Getting-There Kitty who weighs in at a mere 7.5kg - 16.5lb [it seems lighter in metric!] sounds like a herd of elephants thumping along the hall; elephants with very sharp toenails that scratch the floorboards as he skids around the corner! He is an outdoor-during-the-day cat so he needs his claws for climbing trees and other cat-type activities but they're not kind to our not-so-old floor!

Hope you enjoyed the bath anyway and are not so deaf for the rest of the week.

Knitting Linguist said...

It seems to me that hearing AGKs as elephants makes for a rather exciting and fun life; maybe it's better not to go for the ear trumpet just yet? I'm glad that you made it through the Monday after The Time Change From Hell (I really hate the whole "spring forward" thing; it sounds so cheery, but it makes for some rough mornings).