Let's Do Lunch

I had several students out today.  I have grave concerns about our ever finishing the latest round of standardized testing.  I am also dodging the computer teacher most of the day because she is the one who has to administer these tests and is having a freak-out of epic proportions over the number of students who haven't finished them.  But I have to admit, I enjoyed the break.

In fact, instead of a room full of kids during the lunch hour, we had but one.  This allowed for some light chit-chat whilst the Cheerful Teaching Assistant and I dined.  I ate my little cup of cottage cheese slowly, savoring the delicate blend of cottage and cheese.  It was like being a real, live grown up, I tellya!  As our twenty minute meal progressed, the conversation turned to ME.  Because I have a tendency to force it in that general direction.

Sheepish Annie:  I'm not gonna eat my salad right now.  I'll save it for later.  It'll be like a nice treat!

Cheerful Teaching Assistant:  Mm-hmmm...

SA:  Don't let me forget it, OK?  I've been a bit light on the fruits and vegetables of late.  I'll probably have scurvy by next Wednesday if you let me forget it.  (Nutrition is very important.  Which is why I like to foist responsibility for my overall health and well-being onto others.  I think everyone enjoys taking part in the care and feeding of ME)

CTA:  Sure thing...

SA:  Here's something funny.  Yesterday, I forgot to eat my lunch and the only vegetable that entered my system for 24 hours was pizza sauce.  At least I didn't have to make a lunch today, right?  I've got one right there in the little fridge!  That's almost like "planning!"  Heh-heh!  (I find ME to be very amusing and a delightful luncheon companion)

CTA:  You're getting quite a stockpile of those in the fridge these days.

SA:  What?  No!  Not at all.  I've been eating my little spinach salad every day like clockwork.  I am a paragon of nutritional awareness, a shining example to the children for whom we must model the good behavior.  I should get a medal for eating that salad every day!

CTA:  Whatever you say.  But there's a whole lotta plastic containers in there...

SA:  Lies!!!  Vile mistruths!!!!  I am so TOO eating my salad every, single day and I can prove it! (marches to the teeny classroom fridge and flings it open to settle this matter once and for all)  Oh.  There sure are a lot of plastic containers in there.  I'm guessing they are all yours and I am appalled by how few salads you are eating.  Shame on you!

CTA:  Yours are the ones with the green lids.  

SA:  (pauses to let this information sink in)  Change of plans.  I'm penciling in the scurvy for Monday.  I'll probably need a sub for the rest of the week...

It seems I have been missing a few more of the midday meals than I thought.  To be fair, I have been eating my cottage cheese.  And cheddar cheese cubes.  I know this because none of those were left in the little fridge.  I also checked my purse to make sure I hadn't hidden them in there. (I do this sometimes...it's best to not think about it too much)  But I'm thinking that the six cheese cubes and the cup of cottage cheese are not exactly a meal.  And I may have found the reason why I seem to be eating my own weight in crackers three nights a week.  

To be fair, it is easy to forget a salad.  Especially a spinach salad.  Vegetables are yucky.  I'm sure that there are those of you out there who might disagree.  However, I believe that you have been brainwashed by the vegetable industry and are in danger of a sugar crisis at any moment.  But what I fail to understand is how I'd rather miss a meal than eat a vegetable.  That just seems wrong.  I also can't get my head around how I'm not just forgetting about the salad but am actually capable of virtually erasing its existence from my mind.  Or even rewriting history to reflect its consumption.  That seems like rather extreme denial.  

I suppose it's a good thing I've been remembering to take my vitamins at night.  At least I think I've been remembering.  I don't really know anymore.  Things have gotten fuzzy.  For all I know, I've been swallowing jelly beans.  

If you need me, I'll be in the Scurvy Ward.  I don't know if they allow visitors, but I'm guessing that they are supporters of the fruit basket delivery.

That's sort of too bad, really.  I was kind of thinking about doing some spinning this weekend.  I was staring into space last night (apparently from the scurvy...) and my eyes rested upon the wheel.  I've had some rather lovely fiber on there for a while and I got to thinking that a little whirling of the wool might be a nice diversion for the whole "I Have An Odd Compulsion To Knit A Plastic Bag Out Of Plastic Bags" thing.  Maybe if I remember to eat my salad tomorrow and sneak in a fruit smoothie for breakfast, I can put off the scurvy episode for a little bit.  The fiber is a lovely green color and quite reminiscent of a kiwi.  Maybe it will give off an aura of vitamin C or something...

But just to be on the safe side, I should probably go check the vitamins and see if there are a billion of those left as was the case with the poor salads.

They are big vitamin packs.  They should be good for something...

SA