Saturday, May 10, 2008

Messy Break-Up

I remained true to my word and let Friday evening be the night that I took the final steps.  The Invisibility Shawl and I broke up.  We are done.  Sort of...  And, as I suspected, the shawl is not quite at the length I would have liked, but all things must come to an end.  And this was the end.  

To say that the shawl is not taking it well would be an understatement.  It fought the inevitable to the last second.  In the final lace row, the last time I would have to complete this god-forsaken combination of yarn-overs and PSSOs, it did horrible things.  Vile things.  I tried to tell it that it was better than this.  That it would never meet another if it let itself go so badly.  It didn't care.  So, I let it punish itself if that's what it felt it needed to do.  I am no longer invested enough in the relationship to care.  And those weird yarn maneuvers are right at the end for all the world to see.  

Like most break-ups, the end is never really the end.  There are always last minute sorts of things that have to be tidied up.  You need to get the last of your stuff, decide who gets custody of which CDs and with whom the friends are going to side.  Breaking up with the shawl is no different.  There is still some binding off left to do on either end and I am quite sure that it will make some last-ditch attempt to keep me by doing something really horrible to itself when I try to take out the provisional cast on.  It won't work.  But, I'm sure it will try.

The shawl is now blocking.  It is doing so in another room for I cannot bear to look at it any longer.  I'd show you a picture, but I know that this would result in a lot of comments that would sound something like, "Gosh, Sheepie.  That's a super-keen trapezoid you got going on there.  But I'm pretty sure that this shawl is supposed to be a rectangle..."

This, of course, would result in me standing on the roof of the local library or grocery store screaming at the ever-growing crowd something to the effect that I hate everyone, everything but most especially shawls and geometry.  This seems like an awful lot of effort for a Saturday, so why don't we just let it go?  

It is important in any break -up situation to keep your mind occupied with lots of little tasks and diversions.  You are sure to find yourself remembering better times if you don't.  And then it is easy to forget the bad times and, before you know it, you are calling your shawl and seeing if it might like to go grab a cup of coffee for old time's sake.  That way lies madness.

So I headed out to the Back Forty (aka my kitchen) to check on the state of the spring planting.



All is well in the Aerogarden.  Nutrient tablets were added and the water level topped off.


Then I did a little crafty project that I've been meaning to do for a while.  I recently bought myself a super-duper $7.00 purse.  You can't beat a purse for under ten bucks.  And, while not constructed to last the ages, it is funky enough that I deemed it worthy to grace my shoulder during this year's summer season.  But $7.00 purses don't always come with amenities like pockets and sometimes your stuff gets all jumbled up in the bottom and you can't find your sunglasses when it is time for recess duty and the kid you are supposed to be going outside to watch starts getting all mad because you are cutting into his kickball time.  So I went to the dollar store and got a couple of these wee, little tote bags:


Yes.  I am aware that using both "wee" and "little" in the same sentence is redundant.  But these are really cute and deserved over-description.


Then, I cut off the handles, applied some hook & loop tape and....POOF!


I have a pocket!!!!


It is an inelegant solution, I'll grant you.  And a better person might have used a little needle and thread to make things neater and more secure.  But I am in the throes of a break-up and everyone has to be nice to me so I'll trust that people will only think about how lazy I was about this and not say it in their "outside their head" voices.  Not that I don't deserve it.  I sort of do.  The adhesive on the hook & loop tape is already a little less than sticky.  I'll fix it later.  Maybe...

Lastly, I finally broke down and purchased a copy of Army Of Darkness.  The third in the Evil Dead series never really appealed to me.  I loved the first, liked the second and, what I saw of this one led me to believe that it was going to be a sad departure from the original vision.  And my prediction was verified.  It seems that a bigger budget does not necessarily make for a better movie.  Still, it is good to finally have all three under my belt and there are certainly some delightful "let's get the dead things before they get us" moments.  Plus it was only, like, eight bucks...

So, you see, I have kept myself busy during this most trying of break-ups.  It has been difficult.  But I am managing.  I've learned some hard lessons, among them that I do not have a single square foot of clear floor space that is convenient for shawl blocking and that I really need to do something about that.  The soggy trapezoid that is currently taking up a great deal of space in the bedroom will stop at nothing to make this a miserable ending to a relationship, I tellya!  

I also have no idea where I am going to sleep tonight.  Break-ups are complicated...

SA

10 comments:

Anne said...

Three cheers for having the courage to end that relationship! Anyway, I like trapezoids. It's a pretty cool member of the quadrilateral family, in my view.

Kath said...

Good for you! And you are wise to keep it out of sight and stay busy. I remember the perils of having a forgiving memory! Remember - fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Oh, and by the way - no drunk dialing!

Mel said...

It's a good thing you've got a couch. Breakups are a bitch, but they're usually a good thing in the end. Just so long as the shawl doesn't start stalking you.

Karen said...

Your idea with the purse is genius!
I'm sure things with the shawl will be fine. Blocking is magic.

Lorraine said...

I'm sure you'll be fathoms deep in love with a new project very, very soon. Who knows, maybe it's time to renew your commitment to the wheel. Thank heaven there is always a new fiber relationship in the offing. Knitting is NOT meant to be monogamous. Even those who espouse knitting monogamy usually have a little affair going on with a sock on the side.

Donna Lee said...

Way to stand tough! High fives! I think the velcro'd pocket is genius. I used heavy duty super duper velcro to close my summer purse because I cut off the wooden handles which held the top closed and use the shoulder strap. Is it elegant? No. Is it functional? You bet.

kmkat said...

As I was reading your post it came to me that you are the ONLY blogger I read who blogs every single day and yet manages to maintain a consistently high standard of posting. It's not really the subject matter, although you often write of things that are of interest; it's more a matter of your way with words. You can make a $7 purse or a carb-free diet hilariously interesting. Keep it up; you are an inspiration to the rest of us lame-ish bloggers.

Okay, enough with the syrupy praise. More pictures of knitting, please. :p

Ronni said...

Excellent trick with the purse! I'm sure you and the shawl will eventually be able to be friends again.

Beth said...

Your garden is really looking great! Has the BFK requested that you grow catnip?

debsnm said...

I think I must have missed something. I *love* Army of Darkness. It's the funniest movie I think I've ever seen. I might have to watch this again, cause obviously, I've missed something.