Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I Know It Is Wednesday

And yet, it was still a day fraught with confusion regarding where we were all supposed to be and why we were doing Wednesday Things.  No one could seem to get a handle on the schedule today.  But I do know that it is Wednesday because Monday and Tuesday, as I frantically try to come up with something to write about for the blog-reading universe, I often think, "Golly, I surely do wish it was Wednesday..."  Here's your regularly scheduled Wednesday Night Bullet Post...because I'm pretty sure it is Wednesday:

*I was a party to the stupidest conversation ever held in the history of the human race today.  My Other Cheerful Teaching Assistant came in to the classroom to get the New Student and take him to his very first art class this afternoon.  

*She said, "C'mon, New Student!  Let's go to your very first art class!"  She then hustled him out of the room.

*I said, "But it's Wednesday.  Art is on Thursday..."  She was focused on the Thursday Art Class for which she thought she was late, but it was Wednesday so she was really ridiculously early.  She didn't hear me.

*I looked at the Regular Cheerful Teaching Assistant and said, "But it is supposed to be Thursday..."

*My Regular Cheerful Teaching Assistant, who realized a few hours earlier that she had a major presentation to make to her professor tonight as part of her final exam and that she wasn't really done with it,  heard nothing of what was going on.  She said in a distracted tone, "No.  It is Wednesday."  

*She thought I was going senile and no longer knew what day it was.

*I said, "No.  It's Thursday."

*She said, "Wednesday."

*I said, "Thursday."

*Precious time was lost as the Other Cheerful Teaching Assistant and the New Student were making their way ever closer to The Art Class For Which They Were Not Late.

*I said, "I know it is Thursday because it is paper-clipped to the schedule on a piece of scrap paper that I put there in October and haven't gotten around to writing on there more permanently but will eventually.  I am not crazy.  You are all crazy!"

*The Regular Cheerful Teaching Assistant, having lost interest in this matter some time ago, let me blather on and went back to her paper.  As this was supposed to be a rather involved project outlining a unit on teaching Transcendentalism Through Modern Media, you can only imagine how easy it was for her to tune me out.  

*And so it was that three people, Ms. Sheep, Her Other Cheerful Teaching Assistant and a very confused New Student, all ended up at the door to the art room looking a bit embarrassed.  I had spent so much time on the whole Wednesday/Thursday debate that I had lost the time to stop them.  We all just walked away without talking to the art teacher who could only look at us in disbelief as we'd interrupted her Wednesday class.  

*It's not like we had any dignity left at that point anyway.

*At the end of the day, The Student Who Is Always Very Tired informed me that it felt like Friday.  I told him that it was not Thursday.  He said that he knew that and that he was just making an observation.  He also pointed out that it was Wednesday.  

*I didn't care anymore...

*Someone at work today suggested I check out this website where they sold "these really cute zombie t-shirts."  They all said, "I Heart Zombies."

*I don't know what they were thinking.  I'm not sure I could be any more clear on this matter.  I most certainly do not heart zombies.  I am afraid of zombies.  Zombies are scary and want to eat you.  There is nothing heart-able about zombies.  Not at all.  

*I had a really bad zombie dream last night.  It was very involved and had distinct political overtones.  It was hard to tell the bad guys from the good guys.  There were many ethical dilemmas.  But even with all that going on, I still did not heart the zombies.  

*I was up at 4:00.  Who can sleep with all those zombies and ethical questions roaming around in the subconscious???????

*Thanks for the thoughts on the Invisibility Shawl.  I really do appreciate how you all might think that letting it marinate for a while might be a good idea.

*But this is round 2.  I already did the marinating.  It is finished as of Friday.  I'm breaking up with it.  This is final.

*I'm closing in on 43 and have never been married.  I have navigated my way out of every long-term relationship that has ever been thrown in my path.  There was a brief engagement during my sophomore year in college to that skate rat guy.  But that kind of fell apart given his tendency to disappear for weeks at a time and I'd end up forgetting that I was supposed to be engaged.  Otherwise, I think I have the break-up thing mastered at a level to which many others can only aspire.

*I'm breaking up with this shawl on Friday.  You can't force this relationship.  It is over.  We are just going through the motions now.  I'll be fine.  It's the shawl you should feel sorry for.  It is needy and isn't going to take this well since we already broke up once and now it has to go through it all over again.  It will probably eat a lot of ice cream then drunk dial some old boyfriends or something.

*And tomorrow is the last day of the Let's Go Low Carb In Support Of My Colleague Who Had To Do It.  Yay!  Let's all welcome back the carbs!!!!!

Hope your Wednesday was a delightful one, free of zombies and utterly stupid conversations that ended up with you standing outside the art room looking sort of foolish.  I am looking forward to a better night's sleep, some calendar clarity and a successful first art class for the New Student!



trek said...

My head's spinning now.
But that might just be the Nyquil.

I took Neatnik to Daisy Scouts today.

There wasn't a meeting.

The next meeting is next Wednesday.

I am blaming the Nyquil.

Donna Lee said...

Who hearts zombies? Are they crazy? Zombies want to eat their brains! These people should be reported to the authorities. They should be locked away for their own good. No good can come of hearting zombies.

I have zombie dreams sometimes. I wake up too scared to go to the bathroom (and of course I really have to go) and afraid to go back to sleep. Then I listen for the zombies all night.....And I want to know why zombies always shamble on one bad leg? Is that some kind of zombie requirement-that one leg go bad?

Beth said...

That can be so distracting to think it's the wrong day. It's probably the lack of carbs that caused you to be confused.

Knitting Linguist said...

I hate days when I can't for the life of me figure out what day it is because it just doesn't feel like the day it is supposed to be. You know?

Heart zombies?! These people must be mad. Or else it's a zombie plot, akin to the one that put Dick Cheney in office (now *there's* a man who's a zombie if there ever was one).

knitseashore said...

I am still thinking about you and Patrick Dempsey. How far is Lewiston anyway? He would be worth every breakup from every skate rat and shawl you ever knew. And I bet he'd be awesome at protecting you from zombies. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Beth; the confusion stems from lack of carbs.

Cursing Mama said...

be careful if you wonder over to stumblingoverchaos chris - there might be a vampire or zombie featured.

The Kelly Green Rogue said...

uh, yeah WHO would want a I <3 zombie's shirt? what the heck?

Yarnhog said...

I had a similar lengthy and confusing conversation with my kids about what time art class was on Tuesday. Suffice it to say, I was wrong and we were late. Can I blame the zombies?

Anonymous said...

Inasmuch as I am reading this post on Thursday? I am totally confused. Not that that is anything new.

Kath said...

I'm reading this on Thursday also. And I am 99.9% sure that it is Thursday.

Well, based on your obvious experience in this particular area, I'd say you've made the right decision with the Invisibility Shawl. I didn't realize the relationship had a previous time-out. Really, some relationships must end before they become toxic.