Sunday, December 09, 2007

Weekend Wear

I am of an age where I no longer find it necessary to be fully coiffed to go to the grocery store.  Don't get me wrong.  I haven't sunk so far into middle aged lack of caring that I'm wandering through the aisles in my slippers and hair curlers or anything.  I am fully dressed and may even have matching socks on my feet.  I'll check my teeth, maybe even swipe a little mascara on the old lashes.  Maybe...

 I grocery shop on Sunday mornings so it is likely that I have tossed on some clothing that sort of matches and is probably clean.  That's really about it.  I'm presentable, but not much more than that.  And it is safe to say that, on those days when I may have slept a bit later than I'd planned, I am teetering on the very edge of presentable.

It doesn't matter, really.  While I used to teach in the town where I shop, those days are long since past and I no longer have to worry about the kid who used to be in my homeroom bagging my unmentionables.  In fact, I have made something of an effort over the past few years to work in schools that are some distance from my home.  I like knowing that there is a little space between myself and my job.  The commute can be tricky sometimes when the weather isn't cooperating, but the benefits of knowing that the work day is well behind me when I get home far outweigh any inconveniences.  

I don't, however, have any control over where my co-workers choose to live.  They are free to settle wherever their little hearts desire and sometimes there are one or two who feel the same way I do about sanity being found in a 45 minute commute.  

Which is a rather lengthy way of explaining why I almost didn't buy any vegetables this morning.  

There I was, having thrown on The Sheep's traditional weekend wear and clearly exhibiting the look of one who has just stumbled out of bed.  This is because that is sort of exactly what happened.  There is a small window of time on Sunday mornings where the shopping is good for those of us who don't like to be in close proximity to our fellow man.  I'd slept a bit late and almost missed that window, hence the unwashed and mismatched look.  It was really much worse than my usual attire.  

It was not the best day to see my boss strolling around the deli.  Really, really not the best day.

  I caught sight of him before he saw me, so I was able to make a quick detour into the produce section.  This feat was made all the more challenging by my having selected The Cart With Authority Issues and its desire to go in any direction other than the one I was considering, but I made it.  

It wasn't enough, though.  My boss, dressed in his Sunday best, was hot on my heels.  He still hadn't seen me...but it was just a matter of time.  I could almost feel the ticking of the imaginary clock.  A single bead of icy sweat ran down my neck.  My heart began to hammer against my rumpled sweatshirt.  I had to think and I had to do it fast.  

Maybe if I just don't buy vegetables this week!  I don't like 'em anyway...  No, no.  That won't work.   I don't think I ate any last week and I'm one meal away from malnutrition.  I'll just go really, really fast!!  I can do this!  Don't waste time with those stupid plastic bags!  Just toss loose onions and carrots in the cart.  You can corral them later!  Go! Go!  

All my efforts really accomplished was to make me rather red and sweaty when my boss finally spotted me doing my speed shopping.  I suppose I was hard to miss at that point.  Anyone who is storming through the produce department, head down and muttering, "Make like a potato...try to blend in," is probably going to attract a little attention.  

To make matters worse, he happily pointed out the contents of his cart which contained only cookies and cakes for the after church gathering.  The dented onions and loose tomatoes rolling around in my cart paled in comparison.  It made me sad.  I'd missed getting my black and white cookies in my attempt at avoiding a Sunday Morning Greasy Faced Encounter with my boss and I fairly wept at the sight of all the baked goods neatly stacked and ready for bagging.

The final insult to my dignity came after we'd parted.  I happened to look up into that weird convex mirror thing that lurks in the corner and is designed to give the staff a good view of any potential shoplifters or crazed veggie grabbing Sheep.  In its reflection I was horrified to see a piece of my newly cut and colored hair standing straight up at attention.  It was probably just trying to show off its pretty new color for the nice man with the cookies.  But, it really only served to make the whole Sheepish picture that much closer to "crazy."

Tomorrow's day of meetings should be fun what with all the avoiding eye contact.  

Let's look at some knitting, shall we?  I do believe I've had enough with the reliving of my shopping humiliation for one evening.  Having had good luck with the Villandry Lace Scarf 
pattern and seeing my stylist's happy reaction yesterday upon receiving my first attempt at this scarf, I thought I might just try another.  If I could crank one out in a week using a light worsted weight, surely I could go faster and farther in a bulky weight?

And I can...I really, really can!!!

By gum, I may be holiday knitting after all!  I'm wondering if I might even be able to finish one up for the school secretary before things shut down for the winter break.  I don't see how I can't, barring plagues of locusts or finger cramping.  A day and a half of on again/off again knitting, interrupted by hair appointments, snacks and naps netted me almost three feet of scarfage.  This is most definitely my favoritest scarf pattern of the '07 season.  It probably would have been nice to have discovered it a bit sooner, but you work with what you have, right?

It's for the best anyway.  A shorter knitting time for the holidays will allow me to move on to my next knitting mission.  Hats.  

Specifically, hats for wear in the grocery store.



Brenda said...

I feel the same way about shopping. If I have to stop in at the store in the town I work in, I HATE running into people I know (and it always happens). I love to shop incognito. Today I actually wore a hat pulled down (due to unwashed hair) and thankfully I didn't run into anyone I knew.

Marianne said...

Yep... love the early Sunday morning at the market trip, hardly anyone else there... and since I'm a bit older than you? Jeans, t-shirt, I'm good to go. Gave up make-up when I was still a teen-ager, so the morning ritual goes really fast!
Love the bit of hair sticking straight up.... gigglesnorting... so sorry, I'm sure you were lovely though, seriously!

Beth @ Felt Like Knitting said...

Poor SA! I'm glad to see the unfortunate event hasn't thrown off your knitting.

Teri S. said...

"Make like a potato...try to blend in." That line just tickles me. Instead of heading to the produce section which seems to be a bit too open for a Sheep trying to be inconspicuous, I would headed into the aisles, toward a part of the store where an encounter would have been less likely. Like the feminine hygiene products section.

Carrie K said...

But if you were wearing a hat and/or a, ah, more presentable ensemble, you never would have run into your boss/etc. It's a law of nature.

Rabbitch said...

It could be worse. I mean you could have had unbrushed teeth or, even worse, have had a very adventuresome night the night before and still be obviously dressed in evening wear.

Not that I've ever done anything like that, of course.

Annie said...

It never happens when you're trying out the smart new outfit, does it?
Lovely scarves, by the way.

Anonymous said...

It never fails - whenever I rush out the door looking a bit less than presentable, I run into someone I know!

Way to go with the holiday knitting :)

Carole Knits said...

It's a funny story and at least you got a blog post out of it.

Veggies.... said...

LOL Sheepie!!!! Too true. And the opposite scenario is also true. When you are really spiffed up, and would be glad to run into anyone (especially someone who perhaps gloated at your less than perfect appearance in the past)do you ever? I haven't nada, none...its the days I am a mess, then, bring them on, if you are a mess, they will come!!! Great thing about getting older, who cares.....and you still had a much better shopping cart of items, I bet he even had Coffee Mate yikes, they always do at church 'do's'

Thanks for sharing, G

trek said...

Before I reached the end of the post, my thought was, "One word, Sheep: hat." You will often find me sporting a hat at the bus stop with the Neatnik.

Why do you think that I knit myself a JIT?

Anonymous said...

A hat and sunglasses will work in the future.
The new scarf is lovely.

Susan Pandorf said...

Oh Sheepie! It's happened to us ALL...

Blessings and thanks for the giggles!

Alwen said...

'Tis the season -- of hat hair. Nice clean, shampooed hair, dried with my coat hood flattening it to my head.

Staticky hair that either stands straight up in the dry air, or sleeks down and crackles against my head.

Gotta love it. (Now I think I'll go fill the humidifier tanks.)

Cursing Mama said...

did you go back for the black & white cookie?

Lazuli said...

Oh no, what a way to start a Sunday! Hair isn't usually my problem these days, it's the "wearing junky old clothes because only the cats will see me" - until, that is, I decide to go to the grocery store. Then I have to decide whether or not to change. Maybe I'll try the hats for the body - coats - if it weren't 70 degrees out!!!

Denise said...

Oh no! I hate it when that happens.

It seems like we typically run into Mr. CPA's co-workers on these occasions, with me trying to shrink into the shelves with my no makeup face and 'just going to Lowe's' home improvement clothing as he politely introduces me to people I've never met before.

Men aren't typically too observant in these situations. He probably didn't notice all the details you did.