Sunday, December 16, 2007

Learning About Me.

Nothing like a day stuck inside while the winter weather rages outside to give a girl some time for self-reflection.  And I have successfully managed to use this day to learn a great deal about myself.  

For example, I have learned that I do not care for snow.  That is a lie.  I actually already knew that about myself.  But, I have been able to confirm that little piece of self-awareness so I'm adding it to the list.  It's not that I hate snow.  Hate is a strong word.  And I was not feeling anything close to that when I ventured out at noontime today to clear off the truck and move it so the plows could make a pass through.  But as I was battling the whirling flakes, each of which seemed to be made of multiple razor blades and aimed directly at my face, I came perilously close to hate.  I was able to get the accumulated five inches from the surface of my truck and move it to a new location where it could then be covered with more snow and a finishing coating of ice.  But, I am not going back out there until I absolutely have to.  Which should be sometime tomorrow morning.  It can just stay where it is and be buried.

I learned today that I cannot always be counted upon to follow through on grand pronouncements.  For all my disgust with Project Runway last year and the subsequent declaration of the end of our relationship, I find myself sucked back in this season.  I didn't mean to.  Honest.  But, I am trapped inside and they keep putting reruns on and it is impossible to avoid.  For what it's worth, I am maintaining my holier-than-thou air about the whole thing and claim to be watching it only to validate my belief that it is a program which panders to our society's obsession with appearance.  If I say it enough, maybe it will magically be so.  I hate to think that I am so very shallow and easily led to the trough.

Speaking of troughs, I learned that I am powerless in the presence of chocolate and peanut butter.  Something about that most sacred of pairings is just irresistible.  Being trapped in the house with chocolate peanut butter cookies was not a good thing...except when it was.

I learned that no matter how much you want to spin, you can't do it after a craft project that involves the use of super sticky adhesives.  Eight layers of super-glue on the thumb do not make for accurate drafting.  Or smooth drafting.  Or drafting, period.  It does, however, make for a lovely banner of blue and grey silk trailing from one's thumb.  

I learned that a blue and gray silk banner trailing from one's thumb does not mix well with chocolate peanut butter cookies.  As proof, I submit that you have never once seen a model on Project Runway sporting that particular smeary accessory.

I learned that a snowy day stuck inside may sound like a great day for knitting, but that I am not necessarily going to take advantage of it.  Fortunately, I have no problems with showing the half of the scarf that I did manage to finish today and pretending that the other half looks just like it.  No problems at all.  

So, for your inauthentic viewing pleasure, I give you The Villandry Lace Scarf WDTF:

WDTF=With Dangling Turd Fringe

I'm not exactly sure just when it seemed like a good idea to make i-cord fringe for this scarf.  I just know that, once the idea was conceived, it became to me the most brilliant of plans. This led to another discovery about myself.  It seems that I am somewhat unwilling to accept that something might not be working, especially when time is of the essence.  On the positive side, it certainly speaks to a willingness to commit on my part, doesn't it?  Or that I should be committed.  I forget which.  There was plenty of time to let this one go.  Each dangly i-cord is tied on there individually.  When the first one went on, I stepped back, chuckled a bit and said, "Gosh, that surely does look like a dangling turd."  That might have been the time to stop.  I also could have stopped after the second one went on and still demonstrated a turd-like quality.  By the third and fourth dangling turdish appendage, there was no excuse.  It wasn't even funny anymore.  But, I pressed on, fully enmeshed in denial regarding my fringe choice.  

And I will continue in this manner when I finally get up the gumption to finish up the other half of the scarf.  I will then resolutely wrap it and gift it on Friday no matter how many turds are dangling from it.  That is how committed I am to this decision.  

This week, I am looking forward to a few more life lessons.  For example:

*How likely am I to call in sick when faced with a vehicle that is encased in snow and ice and will require effort to make drivable?

*Is this the year that I crack under the pressure of teaching during the week before the holiday break?  And what form of cracking will this take?  And do I have access to a good attorney?

*What is the likelihood that I will tell the recipient of the Villandry Lace Scarf WDTF what the "t" stands for?



trek said...

You're scaring me.

Veggies.... said...

LOL, LOL.....I learned a thing or three about the Sheep. One thing I know for sure, you can't phone in sick tomorrow (unless you REALLY are) 'cause you don't REALLY know who might be reading your blog!!!

Huggs, stay warm and do remember, chocolate plus peanut butter CAN equal a LOT of biking to follow, instead of leisurely knitting!!!

mehitabel said...

I sure hope your giftee doesn't read the blog--or else has the sense of humor to appreciate wearing a scarf WDTF.
During the week before the holidays, in my first year of teaching, I got "lucky" and drew yard duty at noon for the week. The first day was a near-riot (I kid you not). The second was a full-on riot, and in trying to help a kid who'd been knocked down, I got knocked down and trampled. Two of the nice men teachers came to my rescue and relieved me of yard duty for the balance of the week, so my scrapes and bruises could heal!
And Project Runway? Well, it's a hoot! I personally eat peanutbutter and chocolate brownies while watching The Biggest Loser.

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing it's very likely that the recipient will be informed as to what the "t" stands for :-)

I spent a portion of this snow day watching Project Runway, too. My daughter got me sucked into it a couple of weeks ago. It's addictive.

I am not afraid to use the H word when it comes to snow - I truly HATE it! I especially HATE it when hubby has to work and I have to get out there and shovel it.

Carrie K said...

Snow is cold? But it looks so fuzzy and sweet!

You may take solace in the fact that although you do watch Project Runway, you're not defending the WDTF scarf with "But it turns me on."

Kris said...

I find a certain wry humor in knowing that you are bitching about the weather we had yesterday.

What was supposed to be flurries ended up in 8" of accumulation. Flurries my hiney.

Kath said...

I was actually born on the east coast and that lovely, fluffy, freakin' icy cold stuff you call "snow" is one of the reasons I stay in Southern California. Where people actually talk about "going to the snow"! Puh-leeze.

I don't know about peanut butter & chocolate cookies, but a few years ago I spent time assessing the nutritional content of the varieties of Reeses candies available - cups, sticks, etc. (I know you won't ask why.) There might be protein in those cookies - check it out!

Mia said...

mmmm chocolate and peanut butter! You is a wise sheep!

And yeah, I'm sort of wondering about the sick day thing tomorrow myself. I just came in from shoveling for the LAST time tonight! It better all be worth it tomorrow morning :)

Anonymous said...

That fringe will be nice weight for the end of the scarf. The scarf won't fly off in the wind. I wouldn't mention what the t stands for. There are some things better left unsaid.
Our town blessed with children and teachers with a 2 hour delay. I hope you were blessed as well.

Cursing Mama said...

I continue to be amazed that you haven't knit a cozy for your truck...

Trish said...

You could pretend that the T stands for Tootsie Roll. Sadly, tootsie rolls look similar to turds.

Lorraine said...

LOL - I'm with you on the Project Runway boat. It's the show I love to hate! And all four kids are addicted to it, too.

All that snow and ice has been missing us - not that my kids get snow days, though. But some fresh powder to play in would be nice.

Cathy said...

LOL... I'm in for the 40s this week. I'll try to share.

Mel said...

We're currently watching season three of Runway Club, as David calls it. I already know who wins, but I'm not saying anything to David. I'm sure that when Netflix has season four we'll be getting that, too.

I had to stay in Scarborough yesterday because of the storm, but it gave me a reason to go buy underwear.

Yarnhog said...

We have large, hairy dogs that like to eat things that don't agree with them. We call those brown, dangly things "dingelberries". Just in case you wanted to know. (Don't you think that would be a great name for a scarf? The Dingelberry scarf? I mean, if you didn't know what it meant...)

tenacious knitter said...

Had to comment to you AND your commenters! LOL to Carrie K - not defending the WDTF scarf with "But it turns me on." And tootsie rolls and dingleberries? Funnee.

I'm not ashamed, I love Project Runway. But I certainly wouldn't confess to watching Real Housewives...

Beth @ Felt Like Knitting said...

The turds look more like dreadlocks to me. That might be a little more appetizing way of describing it. :)