FYI

I had something of an epiphany today.  As usual, it occurred to me as I was trying to find a way to pass the time during my daily commute.  I probably should spend more time checking my mirrors or the various warning lights flashing at me from my dashboard, but I find the things in there to be depressing and I avoid them as much as possible.  Hence, I do much of my Deep Thinking And Meaningful Reflection while I drive.  

Those of you on the Maine Turnpike between the hours of 6:20 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. take note...

When today's "thought of the day" struck, I decided that it might be a good idea to share.  Because, if I have missed this, then I fail to see how it has occurred to anyone else.  It's one of those little things that you might not have picked up on.  But, for those to whom this piece of information pertains, it is timely.  For the folks who don't need this, please feel free to sit back and have a chuckle at our expense.  We are about to lose our minds.  It should make for great entertainment.  Here's the thing:

It is almost Christmas.

I know, right???  Horrifying!  How did this happen?  Last time I checked, I was trying to sort through the leftover Halloween candy and make sure that I didn't eat all the good stuff right away.  I suppose that the candy calculations, with all the higher math involved, might have proven to be something of a distraction.  It is possible that I might have missed flipping a few calendar pages.  But, I am usually pretty observant.  Except when I'm commuting to work, but that doesn't really count since I am having Deep Thoughts and all.  

This realization crashed into me like a bus.  I have been puttering along, completely enmeshed in the day to day stress bombs that life likes to hand me in December and somehow failed to notice how close the holiday really is.  I had big plans, you know.  This was the year that the cards were going to be sent in a timely fashion and would each include a heartfelt sentiment guaranteed to bring a tear to the eye of the recipient.  I was going to lovingly bake any number of breads, cakes and cookies with which to tempt the taste buds of my loved ones.  There were going to be hand-tied bows and perhaps even lovely calligraphy on the gift tags.  

I haven't even finished shopping yet.  I accepted long ago that the knitting wasn't going to get done.  But, I consoled myself with the fact that gifts could be purchased and that the hand-tied bows were going to more than make up for the lack of scarves or hats.  I wonder if my letting go of The Knitting Dream gave me a false sense of Seasonal Security.  Maybe I should have kept going with that.  Perhaps the added feelings of urgency would have given me a clearer picture of the timetable...

I told you I think Deep Thoughts during the daily commute.  I almost drove into a ditch.

I'm taking tomorrow off.  I debated on this one.  I normally take the day for myself when I have my visits with Dr. Judy.  It's a gi-normous pain to have to fit it into the work day when I live almost an hour from work and have to sick time to spare.  But, this is the week before the holiday break and a tough one for both kids and teachers.  I wondered if, perhaps, I should maybe take half a day instead.  I came perilously close to being a very responsible teacher.

And then I collided with an epiphany.  Responsibility is going to take a back seat to my Noel Nightmare.  I need to go someplace where they have stick-on bows, pre-made gift bags and little plastic cards that my loved ones can exchange for things I was too panicked to think of buying for them.  I am sorely in need of foil wrapped candies, tissue paper and whatever is left on the Christmas card rack.  And I will fight to the death anyone who dares get in my way.  I am a Sheep in crisis, here.  My only consolation is that I can't be the only one.  I'm sure that there are others out there who will read this post, leap up and shriek, 

"What????  Get the car, Bud!  The holidays are a-comin'!  Don't stop to put on yer goin' out pants...time's a-wastin'!!!  We got us some shoppin' to do!!"

For some reason, you are all now suddenly sitcom characters in my mind's eye.  This happens sometimes when I am stressed out.  Just go with it...

I'll let you know how it goes.  Assuming, that is, I don't find myself at the local police station explaining why I found it necessary to beat an elderly shopper about the head and shoulders with the last tube of wrapping paper in the store.  If you don't hear from me, you may want to start making a phone call or two.

And if someone could feed the cats or maybe send out my Christmas cards that would be nice, too.

SA