Not What I Seem

I like to think that I present myself as a Sheep of high moral character. Perhaps even one that could be trusted with a secret or to keep watch over your muffin while you visit the ladies room. If it's a chocolate chip muffin, you may wonder if I'll pick off a chip or two while you're gone. That's just human nature and to be expected. But, I'm sure that you are really thinking that I'm merely checking your muffin and ensuring that it is of the high quality you deserve. You are, after all, a fine person who trusts me to guard your snack.

But it's not a trust that I have earned. I am, dear readers...(cue ominous music)

A fraud.

That's right. I'm nothing but a ne'er do well who will come to no good in the end. I'm rotten to the core, I tellya. I'm one bad apple. You shouldn't be trusting me with that muffin. I'll just pounce on it like a lion on a hapless gazelle and devour it while laughing at your naivete. You could leave me with your salad, for what it's worth. But not the muffin...

In an email to Trek today, I commented on how utterly bored I am with all my knitting projects. Nothing is even remotely piquing my interest at all. There is naught but miles of endless ribbing or stockinette. Bleh.

But, I sanctimoniously declared that it was my full intention to soldier on and finish these items before casting on another. I know me and my fickle ways. If I have too many things hanging off the needles, none will ever see the finish line. It is better to have no more than two things on my knitting radar at any given time. I stated that I would cast off these uninspiring items in a completed state before moving on. I even suggested that perhaps Trek might benefit from using my handy Index Cards Of Summer Organization system to help keep herself focused on project completion. Because, as you know, she only finishes a mere two or three projects per week. Clearly she needs the assistance of a Sheep who completes a project per month. It was my pleasure to lend a hand and it felt good to know that others were now aware of my commitment to finishing my current, if uninspiring, projects.

I lasted about an hour after that.

I couldn't help myself. The Lorna's Laces, now untangled from the ungodly mess into which it had contorted itself into a few days ago, was calling to me from the other room. I was weak. I wanted a challenge. I wanted something new, something exciting...something to make my Sheepie heart race. I resisted for a bit. I had a few moments of integrity.

But, like I said: I'm just no good. You should go find yourselves another Sheep who blogs about knitting and stuff. You deserve better than the likes of me. I'm sure to get my just desserts before too much longer. I'll end up outside one of those department stores with a sign that reads, "Will Work For Red Heart." I'll be picking through the trash outside the local Chinese restaurant looking for used chopsticks with which to knit. People will see me, shake their heads and whisper, "She used to have it all...then she developed Fickle Knitter Syndrome. Don't stare! Oh no! She's spotted us! Look away, look away!! Toss her that half-used skein of Caron's Simply Soft...maybe she'll go away."

I'm going to go knit on my Monkey Socks now. You are all free to talk amongst yourselves and decide if an intervention might be useful or if it is just too late for me. Maybe you want to do a refreshment list sign up for the event or something. If you do decided to go that route, just let me warn you ahead of time...

Extra muffins might be a good idea.

SA