Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Sheep Is On The Level.

Had you been an undetected visitor to The Sheep household last night, you would have been treated to the sight of a disheveled Sheep wandering from room to room muttering to herself:

What the heck has happened to all the levels around here?

I know I own a level...I distinctly remember buying one last summer when I lost the other one.

See??? Here's the package that it came in! Which isn't as helpful as actually having the level, but it shows that I'm not crazy, right? Right???

I also remember arguing with the level over the definition of "straight." I lost. I don't know what "straight" is.

I know! I could use a glass of water! Water shows a level line if it's straight! No...wait. I tried that last summer when I was putting up shelves. I seem to recall having to get a mop...better keep looking for the correct tool and not improvise.

Why am I still putting up shelves? How many shelves do I need around here? And why do they all have to be level?

OK!!! That does it! New rule: any cats who are in my path while I am looking for the stupid level so I can put up the stupid shelf on the stupid wall are responsible for their own stupid injuries. I don't want to hear about it.

For that matter, why aren't you helping me??? I need a level, for crying out loud! A little of the team spirit might be appreciated right now!

I never found the level. Not the first one. Not the one I bought last summer to replace the first one. They have gone to that dimension that houses socks, keys and all those other things that don't want to stay where we put them. Every once in a blue moon, this dimension sees fit to spit one of those objects back to us. This usually seems to coincide with the tidying of drawers or moving of sofas, but I don't think it is a related phenomenon. It is just one of those things we mere mortals weren't meant to understand.

Meanwhile, I had to go out and buy a new level. I am one of those pathetic individuals who is incapable of drawing, replicating or even imagining a straight line. The shelf to which I painstakingly applied four coats of tung oil was doomed to hang in a cock-eyed state for all eternity if I didn't use a level. I even got one of those fancy ones with the laser thingie in it so I could make a red line on the wall for reference then taunt the cats with the magic red dot on the carpet once my shelf-hanging was done.

And there she is: the shelf that was not on the Index Cards Of Summer Organization!
This whole shelf thing really took more time away from my "Summer Plan" than was allotted. I'm not sure just why I felt I needed a shelf. Frankly, I think I was rebelling against my own self and the plan I'd put together to structure my summer projects. I will be having a long talk with myself about this later. Meanwhile, to appease me and perhaps lessen the length of the lecture I will be delivering on the subject of index cards and their relative importance in my life, I worked on this:

Scarf crocheted in hand spun "Shire Blend"
More on this project later. I'm pretty much done with it...just need to slap a few baubles on her to make it all sparkly and girly. And this is one of the things I said I was going to do this summer and my finishing it in a mere two days will go a long way towards convincing me that I'm making progress on the knitting and spinning projects.
Wait...the spinning! I forgot about the spinning! I got so caught up in the shelf-hanging and crocheting that I forgot to spin today! Sheesh!
I'm never going to let me hear the end of this...


trek said...

It is known around here as the AKCD: Alternate Kitty Cat Dimension and small children can move in and out of it just as freely as the kitty cats can.

kmkat said...

My 80-pound senior dog insists on walking right in front of me no matter where I go in the house. Walking v-e-r-y slowly because she is old. I am merciless, however, and push her along with cries of "git along, little dogie!" and curses. It doesn't help much with the dog but it keeps the cats out of the way.

Very nice shelf, and perfectly straight, too. I'm a fanatic about that. But why is it not centered under the sampler? [ducks and runs]

Anonymous said...

Nice shelf (even if it wasn't in the cards). We have one of those laser type levels at work; it's fun to taunt the coworkers with, too :-)

Love the crocheted scarf!

Mouse said...

I am also completely incapable of understanding "level". I drive my husband crazy because he has to re-hang everything I do because its horribly crooked.

Sheila said...

I am LOVING the scarf....the pattern shows off t your special yarn really well.

Ronni said...

We have at least 6 levels somewhere in this house. Hubby has 5 of various kinds including two laser levels. I have one of my own because I can never, ever, find any of his five. Neither can he without an extensive search, so I have to hide mine so he doesn't borrow it and then lose it into whatever alternate dimension his other five are in.

Pretty shelf and pretty scarf.

Beth said...

Your shelf and your scarf both look really nice! And I think you're on to something - I rebel against myself, too. I totally blame it on my mom for always telling me what to do when I was younger. :)

Anonymous said...

Forgot to spin? That's a sin!

April said...

I have the same issue with hammers. Maybe my hammer and your level are joining forces and running off to be on a real construction site.

I am very impressed with your shelf, I've never put up a shelf although I've thought about it many times.

Leigh said...

One can never have too many shelves. However, I usually just eyeball it and don't give a darn as to how level it actually is. But then, stuff is known to roll off of my shelves, and that without a cat!

Anonymous said...

The shelf looks great! It was well worth going off plan.
Your scarf is lovely. I love seeing what people make with their homespun.

Cathy said...

Terrific shelf! I averted my eyes from kmkat's comment so I didn't read that last line.

Love the crocheted scarf. Very nicely done. (proud beaming from afar)

Jeanne said...

Oooh, is that pretty! I can't wait to get the hang of this spinning thing and produce some "usable" yarn!

Sounds like you're enjoying your vacation already.

debsnm said...

WD-40 and allergy eye drops. I have to buy 'nother one every single stinkin' time I need one! I don't get it either.

Bobbi said...

LOL I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who can't keep track of tools. I always swear I'll put them back in the tool box so I'll be able to find them next time, then somehow they end up in the sock drawer.

Lazuli said...

That looks like a very important shelf, given that it's holding fibers!