Monday, June 25, 2007

Not What I Seem

I like to think that I present myself as a Sheep of high moral character. Perhaps even one that could be trusted with a secret or to keep watch over your muffin while you visit the ladies room. If it's a chocolate chip muffin, you may wonder if I'll pick off a chip or two while you're gone. That's just human nature and to be expected. But, I'm sure that you are really thinking that I'm merely checking your muffin and ensuring that it is of the high quality you deserve. You are, after all, a fine person who trusts me to guard your snack.

But it's not a trust that I have earned. I am, dear readers...(cue ominous music)

A fraud.

That's right. I'm nothing but a ne'er do well who will come to no good in the end. I'm rotten to the core, I tellya. I'm one bad apple. You shouldn't be trusting me with that muffin. I'll just pounce on it like a lion on a hapless gazelle and devour it while laughing at your naivete. You could leave me with your salad, for what it's worth. But not the muffin...

In an email to Trek today, I commented on how utterly bored I am with all my knitting projects. Nothing is even remotely piquing my interest at all. There is naught but miles of endless ribbing or stockinette. Bleh.

But, I sanctimoniously declared that it was my full intention to soldier on and finish these items before casting on another. I know me and my fickle ways. If I have too many things hanging off the needles, none will ever see the finish line. It is better to have no more than two things on my knitting radar at any given time. I stated that I would cast off these uninspiring items in a completed state before moving on. I even suggested that perhaps Trek might benefit from using my handy Index Cards Of Summer Organization system to help keep herself focused on project completion. Because, as you know, she only finishes a mere two or three projects per week. Clearly she needs the assistance of a Sheep who completes a project per month. It was my pleasure to lend a hand and it felt good to know that others were now aware of my commitment to finishing my current, if uninspiring, projects.

I lasted about an hour after that.

I couldn't help myself. The Lorna's Laces, now untangled from the ungodly mess into which it had contorted itself into a few days ago, was calling to me from the other room. I was weak. I wanted a challenge. I wanted something new, something exciting...something to make my Sheepie heart race. I resisted for a bit. I had a few moments of integrity.

But, like I said: I'm just no good. You should go find yourselves another Sheep who blogs about knitting and stuff. You deserve better than the likes of me. I'm sure to get my just desserts before too much longer. I'll end up outside one of those department stores with a sign that reads, "Will Work For Red Heart." I'll be picking through the trash outside the local Chinese restaurant looking for used chopsticks with which to knit. People will see me, shake their heads and whisper, "She used to have it all...then she developed Fickle Knitter Syndrome. Don't stare! Oh no! She's spotted us! Look away, look away!! Toss her that half-used skein of Caron's Simply Soft...maybe she'll go away."

I'm going to go knit on my Monkey Socks now. You are all free to talk amongst yourselves and decide if an intervention might be useful or if it is just too late for me. Maybe you want to do a refreshment list sign up for the event or something. If you do decided to go that route, just let me warn you ahead of time...

Extra muffins might be a good idea.



Carrie K said...

But there is so many beautiful things to knit - how can you possibly limit yourself to projects you have already started? (and not finished......)

Have a chocolate chip muffin on me.

Jeanne said...

Monkeys are fun to knit. Are you going through a case of the knitting blahs? Don't worry. It passes. :-)

trek said...


The only new thing I cast on today was Nubbly Napkin #3. And that is part of a set so it isn't really a new thing so much as the completion of the trio - like a second sock cast on.

Ahem. I'm going to return the index cards to the store now.

Jacqui said...

no one, i mean no one [that knits anyway], can resist the Monkeys. i almost cast on another pair myself tonight and i already have three [count em] sock sets in various stages of doneness!

besides, Lornas Laces are like the sirens of old. drape themselves as they may on the rocks, it would be positively un-human to resist them for long.

Beth said...

I think it would be hard for me to help stage an intervention when I have the syndrome myself. :) Is there any hope for us?

Ronni said...

Well, I certainly can't help you. I've got three socks on needles, and at least 4 other projects in varying states of swatching or actual pattern knitting or something. Not to mention that in the "to be started next" bag(s) there are the yarns for more than 8 things.

That's not even looking at the "projects in hiatus" bag. Which is one of those jumbo sized ziplocks that other people put sleeping bags into.

Feel better yet?

kmkat said...

Your just desserts? Why, chocolate chip cookies and muffins, of course! If you are no good, none of us are. We all have more UPOs that we admit to.

Kris said...

Hmmm, if you need an intervention, then I guess I need one too. Are you requiring that we pre-register or will we be allowed to drop in as our schedules require?

Also, I might need directions.

Anonymous said...

Chocolate chocolate chip muffins slightly warm so the chocolate chips are gooshy.

Debbie said...

No, no, no. It's not weakness, it's destiny. Someone who's had to deal with the Monkey Pox for so long deserves the fun of the Monkey Sox.

My services are also available for crises of dieting, exercise, credit card mishaps.... :)

Julie said...

You only have two (well now 3) things hanging off the needles? You silly sheep, don't you know that you don't start worrying until you hit the double digits? Really, you MUST have enough variety to keep yourself interested.

I'd trust you with my chocolate chip muffin any day but then, I don't really like chocolate chip muffins :)

p.s. might you be a sheepie chick with a stick or two tonight?

Anonymous said...

It's summer. You must be carefree and throw caution to the wind. Casting on another project is almost required, as are extra muffins. They are the perfect summertime breakfast and snack!
Enjoy knitting those Monkeys. They are fast and fun!

Bobbi said...

hmmm,must be the weather the knitting blahs are making the rounds. As long as you have the needles there is nothing wrong with starting another project and even sometimes it's ok to buy needles just to start a new project. with yarn like that who can blame you?

knitseashore said...

A new project would be just the solution to motivating you enough to go back and finish one of the others, right?

My rule is no more than 3, because if I have more than that, I'm a deer in the headlights, staring at all projects but actually knitting none!

5elementknitr said...

You. Are. Hysterical! I've added you to my list of reads.

I've got 15 things on needles and have started a new sock today.

Vive le Cast-On!

Mia said...

Oh Lordy sheepie.. you cracked me up this time ::still laughing::

I'm back from the holler and better than ever *grin*.. Email to follow :)

Diana said...

Screw the muffin, just eat the chocolate chips while you knit the socks.