Thursday, June 21, 2007

New Life Purpose

Let me make one thing perfectly clear:

I love Lorna's Laces.

I love the colors. I love the way it feels when I knit with it. I love the way it looks when it is transformed into a finished garment. I love how that finished garment feels. Love the Laces. No question about it.

That said, I am going to make it my mission in life to find the person at the LL factory or workshop who is responsible for taking up most of my day. I will find the individual who who was asleep at the switch for that one brief second. I will hunt this nefarious stealer of precious time until my end of days. Mark my words, dear readers. I will find the person who is responsible for this:




Skein Winding 101 is not required reading for all Yarn Factory employees.
And when, at the end of this long and arduous search, I find that soulless person who made my day so "challenging," I'll....well, I'm gonna.....Oh, I'll probably just burst into tears and babble incoherently while waving a yarn clot in his or her face. The whole thing will probably degenerate into some sort of Caring Circle with me getting comforting hugs from all the yarn makers.
I talk big. But I'm really rather wimpy.
Now, I take some responsibility here. I had a bad feeling when I popped this skein on the swift. There were errant strands that didn't seem to want to follow the group. Rebel yarn, if you will. I diligently located these wayward wanderers and attempted to get them back in line. I carefully examined the placement...and I will admit to having an sense of foreboding overtake me. But, I couldn't really see where I had gone awry in trying to make sense of this poorly packaged yarn. I took a chance. I began to crank the ball-winder. How bad could it possibly be?
Needless to say, it could be pretty bad. There was a great explosion of lovely sock yarn, a rather ominous clunk from the ball-winder and several exclamations from The Sheep that do not bear repeating. What you see in the picture above is the carnage.
I began to rewind the yarn. Painstakingly. Slowly. With gritted teeth...
And I have still not managed to unsnarl this ungodly mess. I'm, perhaps, half-way through it. I let it go after two hours. It needed a little time to think about its behavior, frankly. And, since my eyes were already crossed from following the path of a single strand of yarn through a plethora of twists, knots and swirls, it only made sense to just play computer games for the afternoon.
I sort of lost track of time for a while there...I don't exactly know how long I was playing. But there seems to be something of a gap in my day between the hours of 2:30 and 6:00. (that was when I got hungry...) Odds are good that this pile of unrealized Monkey Socks will continue to sit for the remainder of the evening. I am holding out hopes that a band of merry fiber elves will sneak in during the night and untangle it for me. I've heard tell of such creatures. I'm leaving out some cookies and milk in the hopes of luring them in to turn what looks like blue intestines back into the lovely Lorna's Laces with which I so optimistically began this day.
It could happen...
Meanwhile, in happier news: I will be announcing the winners of my Relay For Life Sponsorship Contest on Saturday. I have used the random number generator to make the oh-so-difficult decisions regarding prize distribution for me. I will just let you all sit in suspense while I locate blog urls and the like. We here at Sheepie's House Of Relays And Yarn Mishaps like to do things by the book, after all. I am rather giddy at the prospect of giving away such fabulous prizes...
And I promise that no one will be getting a box full of mis-skeined and exploded yarn. I'm not even tempted. At all. Not one little bit....
SA

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Am waiting with "baited breath" (have no idea what that means but seemed to be the thing to say) for the announcement of the winners in your contest. You have much more patience with that mess of yarn than I ever would have.

Auntie Sheep

Beth said...

Send me your yarn and I'll unravel it for you. For some reason I like to undo knots and snarls. (Sick, huh?) And I promise I'll even send it back. :) I think I'd send it back...I don't know...it's awfully pretty...

Sheila said...

That picture is just so sad....

My husband is like Beth. He has a knack for untangling yarn (I learned this after we married), and he knows how to use a spindle, too. Oh, and he can weave on one of those giant floor looms!!His Granny raised sheep, and was a spinner, dyer, knitter, and weaver, as well as a knitting teacher. Anyway, I think you should send it to Beth, for there are people in this world who for whatever reason (genes, unyielding patience, ?) are blessed with a talent for dealing with such things. If they offer to help, don't ask questions and don't hesitate, just take them up on it. Well, that is my advice anyway.

Jeanne said...

Oh, I hate it when that happens. Perhaps the kitties would help? I'm sorry about your tangles. Good luck with that.

Mouse said...

I have a skein of Regia that exploded like that.. I got angry and shoved it in a ziplock to marinate for a while.. or for it to reflect on its shortcomings as a skein. Either one is fine with me really. Good luck... get some wine, and after a while you'll have either wound it together or you won't care anymore.

Alwen said...

Poor Sheepie!

I feel your pain, as Ive been painstakingly untangling a skein that got "moused" at one end. (It's hand-me-down yarn, long story.)

"Baited" breath always makes me think, "Someone's been eating out of the minnow bucket . . ."

Alwen said...

So first I read your blog, then I go on to the Panopticon:
http://the-panopticon.blogspot.com/2007/06/whirl-of-activity.html

Meanwhile the yarn I'm unwinding is pink!

Ronni said...

I just finished untangling the mess from the dog getting at a ball of yarn I was about to start knitting up. I feel your pain. I hope it unslithers itself in the night.

April said...

That's the most serious case of yarn barf I've ever seen. I blame the Big Fluffy Kitty! Send her to me so that I can scold her appropriately. And she'll be back ... eventually. She may look like a skinny brown tabby when she gets back but just ignore that. The California sunlight does strange things to cats.

Julie said...

Oh what a mess! Good thing you have a couple months off work; it'll take that long to unravel the yarn!

Anonymous said...

Like Beth, I enjoy the challenge of untangling. If you wish to send it out I'd be happy to give it a go. Advice for the future, place your skein of yarn around the back of one (or two if it will fit) kitchen chairs and then begin winding. It'll help, really.
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

catsmum said...

for the edification of anonymous :
'baited breath is an abbreviation of abaited breath ie. holding one's breath in anticipation.

and just btw I have had similar yarn carnage here. The swift doesn't lke me. I just didn't blog about it. I just whimpered in the corner. A lot.

Bells said...

I've been there. I had a wheat coloured skein that ended up looking like a pile of spaghetti. We parted ways and mourned the loss. I feel your rage!

Bobbi said...

wow! that's definitely a yarn disaster! how frustrating.

KrisSuthe said...

Lakeview colorway, eh? Sock One and Sock Two at my house are Lakeview. Sock One's skein had some problem too, but I had my roommate as a swift (handrolling though...)

I have one, all-too-important question to ask you about the Lorna's though...

Does it shrink much? At all? One and Two are "honeymoon socks," made from yarn my husband bought me on our honeymoon, and I couldn't be bothered with a swatch, because I couldn't think about "wasting" any of this yarn.

I am sending loads of good karma your way, in the hopes that karma knows how to undo knots.

Annie said...

I've just had exactly the same problem with a skein of merino laceweight - I gave up and bought some more! But you're not a quitter or you wouldn't have done that relay.
*hangs head in shame*

debsnm said...

Having been the victim, er, owner of many cats over many years, I too, am an expert at untangling yarn. If no one else can do it, send it my way.

Cursing Mama said...

Is it possible that this skein of yarn is an actual rebel skein. The kind of skein that no matter the training, or education it will go out and find trouble. Surely you've met this kind before - I've dated some. Maybe this is the kind of skein that should just find it's way out of your house and into a reformatory....you could call it a prize ;)

ra said...

I wouldn't attract the fibre fairies, in my experience they're the ones who make this kind of stuff happen in the first place!!!

I quite like unwinding tangles, but it takes a long time and you can only do so much at a sitting.

Lazuli said...

Oh dear, that looks bad. And you're sure the cats didn't do it? That's who I'd usually blame such a mess on! Good luck getting it all untangled!

5elementknitr said...

I had the SAME problem about two weeks ago with Lorna's Laces! I think Lorna's Laces is an anagram for Lucifer! (I'd never give mine up either.)