Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Hits And Near Misses.

I commute about forty minutes or so each morning. I can do it in thirty if the traffic is light. (which it generally is at too-early thirty which is when I'm out and about...) The towns I travel through after leaving the Maine Turnpike are of the "quaint" variety. By the standards of the rest of this great country, most places in Maine are actually small and cute. But these are hamlets that even we consider to be petite. So you can imagine the hub-bub that is created by the construction of anything that resembles "big city" in these towns. A mall would probably be enough to cause mass fainting and hyperventilation. But even a small chain-type donut place can be enough to make people a bit silly. And this is just what happened in the town next to my school.

First there was the discussion of the soon-to-be donut place. Then there was the digging of the hole. That attracted the attention of every little boy within a ten mile radius...it was something of a safety hazard for a while there for what little boy (and many girls) can resist the siren song of a large, yellow machine digging a gi-normous hole? Then, after many months of anticipation, there was the actual, honest-to-goodness opening of the donut place. I can only assume that the excitement over this event finally coming to pass was what caused the marked lack of oxygen to the brain on the part of the gentleman who tried to kill me today.

He'd clearly gotten his donuts. This must have just been too much for him to deal with on an emotional level. I know this because he had somehow managed to pull his car out half-way into oncoming traffic. It was a pretty big bag of donuts. I know this because I got to see it. Up close and personal, you might say. As he was blocking the right lane, I was forced to drive in the left. No big deal, really. I was planning on taking a left shortly anyway. But, Mr. Donut must have also been late to work because, not five feet from me, he shot out. And stopped. Traffic going the other way was not conducive to continuing. I was left with few choices at that point.

I slammed on the brakes. As I approached his vehicle, I got to see his donuts and hoped that he felt they were worth being the last thing he was ever going to see on this earth. Realizing that braking wasn't going to be good enough, I took a hard right and narrowly missed his bumper by inches. Thankfully, the guy behind me was observant enough to realize my situation in the blink of an eye. He gave me the room I needed to borrow his part of the lane and maneuver. With great squealing of tires and widening of eyes, I was able to get around Mr. Donut. If this doesn't impress you, then know this: I was holding my coffee at the time. I did it with but one Sheepie hoof on the wheel and didn't spill a drop, thank you very much!

I still don't understand why the entire town didn't drop what they were doing and give me a rousing round of applause. They were probably all distracted with worry about whether the donuts were OK...

Yeah. It was a miss. And I'm rather grateful for that. The truck, clearly feeling chagrined over it's poor behavior over the last few months, rose to the occasion and made the maneuvers that the situation required of it.

Now let's talk about a hit, shall we? A good kind. The rambouillet that I am spinning as part of my Wooly Wonka exotic fiber club was dry when I arrived home and it is happily skeined.

OK...it is badly skeined. But it is still rather happy!
I have to admit that the whole time I was spinning it, I feared disaster. Were you in the vicinity of my humble home on any of the weekends that this was on the wheel you might have heard things like:
Dang it! There's another floofy part!
Wait...how did it get so much thinner?!!
That doesn't look right...
What was I thinking???? Joining a fiber club...I must be crazy! Me? Spinning the same exact wool that everyone else is spinning! Just what I need! My spinning up for comparison! Oh woe is this sad, sorry excuse for a Sheep!!!
But, you know what? After its final plying and dip in the warm waters...it ain't half bad!!! In fact, I think I did rather well with it. It is a bit finer than I was shooting for, but I think it will still work for the club pattern. The nubbly parts that looked so ungainly in the singles seemed to just blend in beautifully. The finished yarn is soft, springy and lighter than air! I don't know whether to knit with it or just snuggle it.
Or strap it to my bumper. It could cushion me in the event of further encounters with donut-distracted drivers.


trek said...

Congrats on missing Donut Dude.

You know, I was thinking this morning that maybe I should knit up that very first yarn that I spun last November instead of keeping it as some kind of trophy. It isn't very squishable really.

knitseashore said...

((standing and clapping )) Hurray for the Sheep! Narrowly averting disaster, with one hand! Coffee safe and sound (and before noon!).

If Maine didn't stand up and applaud you, CT will. There are too many crazy drivers out there. We were blessed with a Kr*spy Kr*me a few years ago, and Route 1 was like a bumper car ride. Did Mr. Donut look appropriately humbled when he realized what he'd caused?

Diana said...

I think the skein looks beautifully spun!!! You should be one proud momma with the birth of that baby!

Mouse said...

Wow.. congrats on the miss! Since I live in GA I'm fully aware of the insanity the "hot" sign on a certain donut joint tends to cause in traffic... Its nightmarish. Which is why I choose to usually get my donuts at the gas station down the road where they are slightly less fresh but I won't die to get them.

Ronni said...

That's a beautiful skein of yarn, Sheepie. Just gorgeous. And I'm incredibly relieved to hear that you managed to not only not hit Donut Dummy but didn't spill even a drip of your morning elixer.

Beth said...

Snuggle the yarn, then knit it. And I'm very impressed with your defensive driving skills! You should teach driving classes.

April said...

I'm taking up a collection to buy you a bicycle helmet. I want you to wear it whenever you leave the house. Thank you.

Julie said...

I'm so glad you avoided disaster with the Donut man. And with one hoof no less; way to go!

Lorraine said...

By all means, don't use the yarn as a bumper cushion. Use Bubble Wrap. Then, if you do hit someone, it will sound like rapid gunfire. Much more fun than ruining lovely fiber.

Cursing Mama said...

Its a shame when states let amateur drivers out on the road - you clearly are professional.
I have to admit I was afraid you were going to say that you hit him & totaled the truck.....on purpose ;)

Teri S. said...

That's quite an impressive maneuver you made. Have you considered trading in the blackboard and chalk for a race car?

Your skein is gorgeous. I'm ignoring the floofy parts in rambouillet. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm going to get a soft, springy, lighter than air yarn. But it will still be nice.

Lee Anne said...

I have to agree with Teri...my husband would be so impressed (he is really into the race car thing).

Loved the skein...my first attempt was so not impressive...I hung it up shortly after realizing the sheer amount of time it takes to do this spinning thing. Hmm...guess I need to pull that roving out and get rid of it before I get some ridiculous idea of trying again. :)

Bobbi said...

I'm mighty impressed with the narrow maneuvering especially with only one hand on the wheel!

Can't wait to see the yarn knit up!

Alwen said...

Whew! Good for you for the miss! And not spilling your coffee, too: you are truly the Queen of the Road.

Anonymous said...

Was Mr. Doughnut from NY State? Hee hee... You are not having very good luck with drivers lately are you?

That yarn is GORGEOUS!!!!!! Don't be do critical!

It's amazing how soft it can become with a little bath.

big geek

Margaret said...

The rambouillet is lovely and I had every one of those same thoughts while spinning mine. Plying really seems to work magic on this stuff.