Monday, January 15, 2007

Brain Freeze

Your friendly, neighborhood Sheep is safe and warm and weathering the storm up here in Maine quite handily overall. But, having been stuck inside all day with no one but the cats to appreciate my acerbic wit has left me a little on the addled end of the spectrum. I've watched a steady stream of cartoons and crafting shows today, dosed my brain cells with far more coffee than is good for the average person and thought deep thoughts. Which would really only be problematic for my classroom assistants tomorrow when I arrive at school after a long weekend with no one to talk to and lots of stuff to share. But, I have a blog. So now you get to hear some of it. Cheer up. I'm the boss of my staff. They have to listen to me. You can change the channel should the urge overtake you.

First thought: Water purification

Annie (I think I'm linking to the right one...there are so darned many of us out there commenting all willy-nilly that I could be wrong) said that she thought it would be super-keen to be able to have safe drinking water should the supply ever become limited. As I am now completely unable to answer a simple query without putting the whole thing into some sort of context, I ask you to consider the following scenario:

Despite the fact that everyone laughed at the warnings of a certain Sheep who predicted this event repeatedly and has been preparing for it since the early eighties, no one was ready when the zombies finally did arise and begin their reign of terror on earth. You find yourself trapped with ten or so of your neighbors, family and the mail carrier with dwindling supplies but a strong will to survive this crisis. In between sitting around and lamenting the fact that you did not heed the wise words of the prognosticating Sheep, you take turns braving the hordes of undead to collect water from the birdbath in the backyard as all utilities have been cut off by the zombies. You wouldn't think that zombies could do this, but they can. Don't ask me how...they just can. We don't have time to get into specifics here! Had you listened to me in the first place then we'd all have been ready for this. But you didn't so now you just have to deal with the condensed version since I am very busy what with being the only person who took the time to research this matter and a lot of people are now clamoring for my knowledge.


Anyway...the water from the birdbath will certainly slake your thirst, but I think we all know that birdbath water is not hygienic water because birds are not necessarily ones to be counted on to use that water strictly for bathing purposes. Thus, you may want to clean it up a bit. Normally, I would advise you to boil it as this is really the best method for purifying water. However, we can't do that so we will strain the poopy water through paper towels or coffee filters to remove debris then add bleach in the following concentrations: 4 drops per quart; 16 drops per gallon; 1 tsp per five gallons. We will then let it stand for thirty minutes. If we can detect a faint odor of bleach, then we are good to go. If not, then we will add a bit more and wait another thirty minutes. We will not be concerned about the bleach smell because this is what tells us it is sanitized and we are in no position to be picky right now because contaminated water can be fatal and we certainly don't want anyone expiring within the confines of our refuge. That would defeat the purpose of locking the doors against the zombies according to most of the movies I've watched.

See what I'm saying? I've had a lot of time on my hands over the past couple of days.

But those hands have not been idle! No, indeedy! I was feeling a little anxious on Friday morning after being dragged into a particularly nasty conflict between two of my fellow staff members and sought a little comfort in the knitting. At noon, school ended for the students and I went to a three hour training. I have since been trapped in the house thanks to icy roads and a general desire to avoid slipping and falling on my keister. Here's what you can accomplish when a need to be distracted and utter boredom dominate your life:

Foul Weather WIPs

Not too shabby!
The sock was started Friday morning after "the incident in the school hallway" and the scarf began life on Saturday morning. Had this not been a three day weekend, I doubt that I'd have gotten quite this far. But, it was and I did. I even managed to get in a little bit of spinning. But I'm not showing any pictures of that...I think I need to get reacquainted with my wheel just a bit. Let's just say that this is not my finest work. But it was nice to be behind the treadles again, I have to admit.
I've also been merrily continuing with the light bulb replacement of '07. Bulbs continue to die dramatic deaths around my abode with aggravating regularity. Just to shake things up a bit I overloaded the circuits in the kitchen by accidentally installing a 100 watt bulb in an overhead fixture that wasn't really equipped to handle it. Fortunately, my condo has separate breakers for each room so I was able to get things back to normal in short order. But, I don't mind telling you that Hysterical Mind had a field day with that one. She was convinced that the zombie invasion had begun and that it was the end of life as we know it for all time. She is also afraid of the circuit box. It took everything Rational Mind had to get her to believe that we did not need to garb ourselves in rubber and call in a Master Electrician to supervise our flipping a breaker switch back to the "Let There Be Light" position.
So, all in all, it's been a pretty busy three day weekend for this Sheep. I was rather hoping to avoid tomorrow's almost certain continuation of Friday's work-based conflict through a bonus snow day, but that is looking less like a possibility. I guess I'll just have to put on my, "Now, I don't want to take sides here" hat and hope for the best.
But, if the zombie invasion were to start sometime around midnight tonight, I wouldn't be entirely put out by that fact...


Anonymous said...

Socks and scarves seem to be the things to knit this weekend. I'm loving yours.

Did you hear on the news Sunday morning that there was indeed an invasion of the zombies this weekend? Apparently there is some movie being filmed and the zombies flocked to Biddeford. I hear there were 100 of them, including one zombie bride who drove up from Mass. in full zombieness. She had glass sticking out of her bloody face and neck; can you imagine being the toll-taker when she went through. Be thankful that you were safe in your condo!

trek said...

Saturday just wasn't a good day for spinning for anyone, was it? I mean, out of the eight or so people who showed up for the saturday spinners, only two of us were even spinning - everyone else was knitting. And my spinning wasn't as nice as I'd like it to be, either.

Mel said...

Zombies in the Biddo, eh? Couldn't happen to a nicer place, says I.

I can tell ya how they knock out the utilities. They eat the brains of the utility workers - easy, peasy. With nobody to run the electric & water treatment facilities, we're all basically screwed. Except maybe folks who have a hand pump and a well. Maybe HM will have to petition the condo association to get those installed.

Amy Boogie said...

Zombie invasions are seriious threats. You think I should start bleaching the water now in anticipation?.... But what do you do when the Mountain Dew runs out? You can't live without that right?

Brandie said...

Nice knitting work!
And hey, now I know how to sterilize my water in case those zombies head on over my way ... hopefully they won't!
I have to laugh about your electrical box. The first time I had to flip a breaker on my own I was terrified. The first time I ever saw someone flip a switch - when I was oh, 19 years old, I didn't even know what they were!

Mouse said...

I think that I'd start going out and buying containers for water and bottles of bleach just so I could see the look on the cashiers face when I told her I was stocking up on fresh water in case of a zombie invasion.

Beth said...

This reminds me of how I felt before Y2K. You should have seen the water we had purified and stocked in the basement. ;)

One question about the bleach method - what happens if one is suffering from a cold during the zombie invasion and one can't smell the bleachy smell? Can zombies smell? Will I be able to ask one of them if they can smell the bleach? Hysterical minds want to know. :)

Annie said...

Have you seen this pattern?

Just a thought.............

Anonymous said...

Well you had a full weekend. I guess the zombies didn't arrive. I think CNN would have told me about that. I did hear about the ice storm. We just had rain.
The scarf and sock are wonderful! I'm sure the spinning you did is just fine.

CursingMama said...

hunh - didn't know that about the bleach, but it's good to know in case of a zombie invasion. I do however have a nice supply of things to get me through in case of a break in utilities as we are campers and I tend to be "well prepared" in case we decide to camp on a whim.

We have never camped on a whim.

Geraldine said...

Great progress on the scarf and socks....
Hope the storm is history by now, we are having LOVELY weather, up North, lots of snow but loving the warm sunny day today.


mehitabel said...

Ooo, oooh, I just finished reading The Stupidest Angel which has the most amazing zombie attack I've ever read--I think it would make a terrific movie. But then, not everyone appreciates Christopher Moore. But it was an amazing book. Truly. Next to knitting,I love reading funny, no-redeeming-social-value books. (PS, late in commenting cause I've been fighting the Sinus Infection from Hell.)