Got Some S-plainin' To Do...

Questions have been raised.  And who am I to deny my loyal readers the story behind the story?  That would be selfish!  I shall now take a moment to offer more detailed explanations of the little quirks that have gone on around here lately.

Why no...I'm not desperately trying to come up with blog fodder on a day when my brain is so shriveled up in my noggin that it's rattling around like the last peanut in the jar.  Why do you ask?

Explanation The First:  What Happened To The Hat?  

It was a very simple project.  It shouldn't have gone so horrifically awry.  But, I am using the pattern for that tam from Knitting Without Tears and I think we all know by now that Ms. Zimmerman can sometimes be a little vague in her directions.  I rather like her writing style and enjoy meandering along the knitting path with her.  But I gotta say...the directions regarding decreasing for this hat were a bit too wander-y for my feeble brain.  My first interpretation was very wrong.  Then I couldn't seem to get back to the right stitch count.  This was probably due to the fact that I got frustrated and ripped instead of tinking back to where I was when life was good and everything was divisible by 7.  Finally, instead of counting to make sure I had the right number of stitches for the second try, I simply forged ahead, confident in my ability to pick up all those loose stitches without any making a run for parts unknown.  

For future reference:  I do not seem to have that particular ability and should never, ever make such an assumption again.  Feel free to remind me of that fact.

I ripped the whole thing out in a fit of disgust and, while there were no actual tears involved, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe the book is somewhat optimistically titled.

Explanation The Second:  What The Heck Happened To The Blog????

You may have noticed that the cultural phenomenon known as Sheepish Annie went away for a bit over the weekend.  

Stop laughing...it could too be a cultural phenomenon!  It's just that most of the world doesn't know that yet.  As soon as the culture catches up, it's gonna be huuuuuge!!!

The whole mess goes back to my stat counter.  I use Site Meter and they decided to go all fancy-pants over the weekend with a big upgrade.  They went from a clear, easy to read format to something disturbingly complex and asked that we all change our html codes to accommodate their brilliant plan.  

When the plan went ker-blooey in their faces, they switched back to the old format and put up a somewhat red-faced apology to all and sundry.  I was happy.  But, it seems that the new html prevented anyone from accessing my personal cultural phenomenon and I was feeling all bereft at the loss of readership.

Fortunately, Beth emailed me and I was able to repair the problem before any culture was lost forever.  The blog and I thank you for your patience.  We hope that you did not suffer any loss of culturing during the dark hours.

And we missed you.

Explanation The Second:  Why Are You Commenting During The Noon Hour?  Are You OK?  Were You Fired?  Are You Sick?  Did You Finally Use That Hatch To The Roof Of The School And Flee Your Job?

When school started up this year, I begrudgingly got in my car and headed out to begin my new job at the Middle School.  Or, as we affectionately like to call it:  The Bad Job At The Middle School That No One Else Would Take And Which Was Foisted Upon Me With The Idea That I Might Be Able To Fix The Program Because What Else Do I Really Have To Do With My Time...

I have been somewhat pathetically trying to find the bright side ever since.

There is the fact that I have already taught most of these students before and won't be starting over with new kids.  There is that spiffy office they gave me with the almost-working air conditioner in it.  I get to hear at least once per day how grateful everyone in the school is that I have arrived to solve this horrific problem and what a delight my shining countenance is for everyone to behold.  And I got a sweet deal on photocopies...5000 of 'em before my code runs out and I have to sell my soul to get more.

But none of these things really helped me to find the happy in this situation.  Contrary to popular belief, telling someone that they are a hero doesn't mean squat.  The Bad Job At The Middle School is still Bad.  However, I have found a little bright spot in the whole mess.  The Internet filters at the Middle School are constructed of a much looser fabric than those at my other school.  Hence, I can access all sorts of nifty stuff that was banned from mine eyes for the last few years.  Blogs, for example!  Further, I have been given an actual, honest to goodness lunch break!  Twenty minutes!  Twenty whole minutes to eat my banana and maybe relax like grown-ups do!  And, since a banana doesn't really take that long to eat, I can even have some string cheese to go with.  That is usually something I can scarf down pretty quickly, too.  

This leaves almost ten minutes to read a couple of blogs and even toss out a pithy comment or two before I hear the thundering roar of a couple hundred teens as they charge back up the stairs, ready for some good old fashioned book-learnin'!

No.  I am not home sick.  I did not quit my job.  I have not gone into hiding so that the kids can't find me and give me their less-than-welcome opinions regarding the need for structured education.  I'm at lunch.  For twenty whole minutes!

And I miss you.  So I visit.  

There.  That should cover it.  I feel that I have fully explained all the stuff that may have mystified and baffled you this past week.  I have also successfully managed to come up with something to post on a day when there was really very little to say so that's good, too!  I can't think of a single thing left to explain.  Nothing at all.

Really?  I gots one for you.  Why is my Absurdly Gi-normous Belly making rumblies?  And why is my face not buried in a big bowl of yummy foods?  Explains that, why dontcha?  

SA