A Sheepish Response

Dear Conscience,

I am in receipt of your recent missive regarding my apparent lack of knitting and would like to take this opportunity to respond to your concerns.  While I feel that you are certainly very much within your rights to take action when you see me falling off the proverbial wool wagon, I do not believe that you are taking all the facts into consideration.  As you were so organized as to present your observations in list form, I shall do likewise.  

Justification The First:  I am busy.  I have lots of stuff to do.  The TV isn't going to watch itself.  The dishes aren't going to pile up in the sink if I am not taking the time to put them there and promise to rinse them later so they can go in the dishwasher to sit for another week or so.  The nice little couch crater I've crafted for myself over the years is not going to maintain its Sheepie Shape if I don't take a few hours out of each day to rest my backside in it.  If that's not busy, then I don't know just what you are using as a definition...

Justification The Second:  It is not my fault that the readers want kitty pictures.  They are insatiable that way.  It takes a great deal of time to stalk the mighty beasts and take photo after photo of them in their natural habitat.  Then I have to review each one, determine its suitability for blogging and edit out the parts that show how messy the manse is.  I'm not sure you fully understand the hours that must be spent cropping.  And, for that matter, getting a home to this state of disorganization takes quite a bit of time in and of itself...

Justification The Third:  (And you will note that I am not resorting to making you go back and read something I already wrote.  I am taking the time to actually provide you with a third item.  For a Conscience, you certainly are a lazy little thing...)  No one can fully appreciate just how much these felines interfere with the knitting process!  Sure, they look all cute and stuff.  But that's how they getcha!  No one knows the challenges with which I must contend each day.  

They see a Big, Fluffy Kitty lounging on her new cat napper bed and think "Awww...how sweet!"

But they don't know how she sometimes decides that she hates her baby brother and starts growling.  Or how I have to rescue her because he can't seem to get his head around the fact that it is sometimes better to just give up and give a girl some space.  They cannot imagine that she might be highly resistant to having her claws trimmed even though she sometimes gets them caught in the afghan and requires that I, once again, come free her.  This sucks up many minutes that could be spent knitting, you know.

They see an Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty frolicking in his Collapsible Cat Cave and go weak in the knees from all the cuteness.

They never once think that he might be using his non-cave dwelling hours to chase the yarn that I am trying to transfer from swift to ball winder.  Or that he seems to have more issues with swatching than I do and needs to attack the yarn while I make repeated attempts to get gauge.  

As you can see, this is not quite the simplistic situation you made it out to be.  I have issues, here!  However, as you are not exactly the kind of Conscience who can easily be smooshed back into submission once released, I find I have little choice.  I bow to your will.  While I still don't exactly have the right gauge, you will be pleased to know that I have cast on for a hat.  Further, I have knit upon that hat rather diligently today and plan to do the same tomorrow.  In fact, I went so far as to do all the errands this morning so that there will be absolutely no need to venture out of the house for any reason again until Monday morning.  I may need to take the trash out to The Dumpster Where The Zombies Live, but that's about it.  

And the only reason I need to do that is because we had a little issue with the litter box and my apparent inability to transfer soiled litter into the appropriate receptacle instead of onto the floor.  My bad.  Still cat related, though.

I hope that this letter helps you to better understand the circumstances under which I am operating and will allow you to cut me a bit of slack should I fail to complete this project in the time frame given.  As you can plainly see, I am doing everything within my power to make the knitting happen.  I don't think that your hanging over my shoulder and judging my every move is going to help matters.  You can just slink back into my subconscious where you belong and I'll give you a jingle when I've finished up with the hat.  It is, after all, your weekend as well.  You should have some time to rest and relax after all your hard work monitoring my behavior and making me feel badly when I do the stuff I shouldn't do.  I'll just be sitting here knitting like you told me to. 

Sincerely,

Sheepish Annie

Frankly, my Conscience is the only one who seems to think that there is a problem here.  I was pretty happy with the status quo.  But I know that inner voice well and it will not rest until I just do what it wants me to do.  I honestly did cast on for a hat.  And I honestly have knit upon it rather diligently.  Just not quite to the degree that my Conscience seemed to think was required.  It is rather sad when you can lie to your own Conscience...

But how else am I going to find the time to get all those kitty pictures?????

SA