Easy As 1-2-3

I was walking one of my students back from his locker this afternoon (they really can't go alone...bad things happen when they are left to their own devices) and we were discussing his math homework.  He asked me if he could do it in my class during the first block since he really can't get much done at home.  I agreed, but with some conditions.

I told him that he needed to work with The Steadfast Teaching Assistant who attends this class with him.  I explained that she, as someone who is in the mathematical atmosphere daily, would be better able to assist him with in this endeavor.  I said that he would need to work with her respectfully and be grateful for her help.  

I also told him that, should this plan fail, he was in trouble.  I was probably not going to be of much use with his math homework.  He tried to tell me that it was easy and that I could most certainly help him.  I appreciated the vote of confidence.  

But he is far enough off base that he can't even be considered in the ballpark at this point.

It seems that I have no math skills whatsoever.  I thought I did.  I count things every now and again.  I once looked at the apple supply in the refrigerator and figured out how many I'd need to buy if I wanted enough for the week's lunches.  I seem to recall having to measure for new mini blinds once and they almost fit.  I honest to goodness thought that I had a few number skills to my credit.

I do not.  

The simple act of decreasing for the crown of this hat I'm working on has bested me.  The first round went quite well.  I was dead on.  Then I guess I maybe over-thought the directions a bit.  I couldn't believe that the pattern as written was correct nor that the math involved would result in the appropriate hat dimensions.  It surely would have.  I simply needed to trust the pattern.  

I did not.

I had to tink back and regroup.  That should have worked.  I should have ended up back where I started and had the correct number of stitches.

I did not.

I probably should have thought better of the ripping it all out to get back to where I was before the decreasing went awry.  I should have realized that this is not really faster as you will always drop stitches if you rip.  I should have gone back to tinking stitch by stitch like I knew deep down was the right thing to do.

I did not.

Everything is back on the needles and I think that it will all work out.  But it is really quite disheartening to realize that I have little in the way of remaining knitting skills after having not completed anything in a while.  And it is downright depressing to learn that I cannot count.

That poor kid who is planning on doing his math homework in my class tomorrow had better kiss up to The Steadfast Teaching Assistant if he knows what's good for him.  My students are still fiddling around with the rules a bit and learning how the adults will react.  Here's hoping that he doesn't try anything too risky tomorrow morning.  If he thinks I'm going to rescue him, he will be a very sad math student.

And I won't be able to hold up my head with anything remotely resembling dignity until at least the third semester.

Hey, I wants to help!  I counts gooood!  Listen:  One Big Bowls Of Yummy Food, Two Big Bowls Of Yummy Food, Three Big Bowls Of Yummy Food...  I can counts all the way up to Fifty Hundred!!!

SA