Don't Look At Me...

I love it when it's not me.  Mostly, it is me.  So, when it's not me, I get pretty happy about it.

If there is a verbal faux pas to be made, I will be the one to make it.  If there is something that shouldn't be said, I will blurt it out no matter who tries to stop me.  Should you desire that something be held in the strictest of confidence, I will most certainly forget from whom I am supposed to be keeping this secret and, the next thing you know, the engagement is off.  

I have often been heard to say aloud the things that I meant to just think and my witty observations are sometimes not always the most well-timed of quips.  It's just my way.  I like to think it is a charming quirk because I need to somehow make it through each day with some degree of self-esteem to my credit.

Today, however, it was not me.  

At the end of the school day, all the kiddies return to their homerooms for a final good-bye from their beloved teachers and to half-listen to whatever announcements must be made from the main office.  Today, there were many announcements.  We knew this because the principal told us that there were many announcements and he is a very truthful sort of fellow.  He also has a pretty amazing sense of humor so, in the middle of this lengthy recitation, he dramatically stopped to catch his breath.   He even went so far as to tell us that this was something he must to do given the amount of information that needed to be broadcast.

Except he didn't say, "catch  my breath."  We knew that is what he meant to say.  Nothing else would have really made sense, after all.  Plus, you could kind of tell he was out of breath and I'm guessing that this is probably why he fumbled his words a bit.  It happens to the best of us.  We all miss the pronunciation mark every now and again.

What most of us don't do, however, is announce to the entire middle school and all the parents who have come to pick up their children that we need to "catch our breasts."

I'll just give you a minute.  This is one of those things for which you really need the time to develop a mental picture.  All set?  OK.  Let us continue.

And so it was that Ms. Sheep found herself stranded in a room with 8 somewhat worldly teen aged boys and the knowledge that it is probably not all that appropriate to laugh at the image of her revered boss chasing down you-know-whats in the office.  I lost that battle of good vs. evil, in case you were wondering.  Some things are simply beyond my control.  

You would have done the same and you know it.  As proof, I offer my having witnessed several parents leaving the building with their young 'uns in tow and laughing to the point of tears while they repeated the poor principal's words.  Even my Less-Than-Cheerful Teaching Assistants cracked a smile and that is saying something.

It wasn't me.  This time, they won't be shaking their heads over my having done something horrible to the English language.  I feel badly for the principal...but I can't help but smile knowing that, this time, it wasn't me.

That sort of happiness can take you a long way.  It can fuel you with the upbeat energy necessary to slog through an hour long session on the little exercise bike when you get home from work.  It can make the fact that the decreases on the hat you are knitting don't really seem to make any more sense on the second try than they did on the first.  You suddenly don't care so much that the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty has taken vast amounts of crunchy kitty food and scattered it all around the kitchen where it is getting stuck in the treads of your shoes.  

None of that matters.  Because this time...it wasn't me announcing that I needed to catch the you-know-whats in front of an entire middle school.  It's a good feeling.

SA