Thursday, September 11, 2008

Taken To Task

Dear Sheepie,

I do hope this letter finds you well.  Being as you are one of those happy-go-lucky sorts who doesn't often find herself concerned with petty matters involving guilt or a sense of responsibility, I rarely seem get the opportunity to touch base with you.  However, recent circumstances have forced me to surface and make contact.  As this is something of a rare event, I trust you will take notice.  

I feel it is incumbent upon me to remind you of one or two things.  I shall put them in list form in order that you might take a moment to fully absorb each in turn.  

Item The First:  This is a Fiber Blog.  It is not a Kitty Blog.  It is not an I Hate Going Back To Teaching School And Don't Understand Why Someone Won't Just Pay Me To Stay At Home And Watch Cartoons All Day Blog.  It is not The Future Warriors Of The Zombie Apocalypse Blog.  It is a Fiber Blog.  This is not to say that any of the aforementioned might not have a place here.  They are all quite entertaining topics and you can certainly use them to spice up the joint.  But this is primarily a Fiber Blog.  It is a place where you rhapsodize about the joys of knitting, spinning and other fibery sorts of activities.

Item The Second:  You don't seem to be knitting much these days.  Nor are you spinning.  And before you get on your high horse so you can start pointing out that you have a sock and a stole in progress, let me point out that a row here and a row there does not constitute progress.  Nor is this of any real interest to anyone who might be looking to see something of a knitted nature.  The last thing you finished was The Blog Buster Sweater.  That was delightful.  You done good there, Sheepie.  Pat yourself on the back.  You broke the Blog Sweater Curse.  This was certainly cause for celebration.  It was not, however, cause for retirement.  

Item The Third:  Well...I actually don't have a third item.  Why don't you just take a minute and go back to the first two.  They were pretty good.  I used some downright fancy language.  Some of the words had three syllables.  Go read that part again.

I trust you are starting to see why I might be just a bit concerned.  It is all well and good to say that knitting is your hobby.  We certainly don't want you to feel like your hobby is an obligation.  But there do have to some limits, for heaven's sake!  We have a theme here!  Themes are good.  They give us a little structure.  We know from past experience that a little structure is something that we can use around here.  

To that end, I am asking that you choose a project.  Something simple.  Something that you can crank out in short order.  Perhaps a hat or a pair of those cute little mitts.  Then, I want you to knit it.  I want you to do this over the weekend.  The holidays will be here before you know it and these are the sorts of things you will want to have on hand when that happens.  

Don't try to tell me that you have a full plate before you and that there will simply be no time for such frivolous activities.  You have absolutely nothing going on this weekend.  You might want to swing by the Farmer's Market and you may need to hit the Greenies Store while you are in the neighborhood.  But that is it.  You have nothing else to do.  In fact, I seem to recall that a movie arrived in your mailbox the other day.  A good one.  With zombies in it.  Plus you'll have at least three episodes of downloaded television.  That is, I do believe, the equivalent of a couch magnet.  You will be sitting there for hours.  

You can knit something.  

I'm sorry to have to be so forceful about this.  This is not my way.  I normally just sit in the background and let you believe that you are the very picture of responsible behavior.  I sometimes even chuckle a bit at your humorous attempts at justifying your wayward ways.  But even I have to take a stand sometimes.  I hope that you take this letter in the spirit in which it is intended and use this as a means for improving yourself.  Perhaps it will even make for a pleasant sort of weekend!  Let's take this as a fun challenge, why don't we?  

Best Wishes and Good Luck!

Sincerely,

Your Conscience.


I guess I'm busted.  If you need me, I'll be sitting on the couch knitting something...

SA

17 comments:

trek said...

Dear Sheepie,

Gosh, I thought for sure that RM had written that to HM! When are they coming back to the blog? How come they can't just cruise on by sometime when there is not an apocalyptic crisis on the horizon??

Your ever-faithful reader,
trek

Donna Lee said...

That conscience is a hard taskmaster! Mine is a little voice that I can ignore easily by putting my hands on my ears and singing"lalalala". And it never uses big words.

Karen said...

But we don't mind when you go "off topic".

mzmouze said...

You can knit and still sneak some kitty pics in under the radar can't you?

Kath said...

But I really really really like pics of kitties! Maybe you could knit up a cat toy or two and show them in use? That sounds like a legit use of a kitty pic on a fiber blog!

April said...

I knit and don't blog. You blog and don't knit. We balance each other out. To mess with that would cause the universe to become mis-aligned and THEN your Conscience would have something to talk about.

More pictures of the AGK wearing his prom dress, please.

Mia said...

well, you really DID use some good words there :)

But I have no other knitterly advice. I'm the queen of dischcloths over here...

Mizzle said...

Why is there no picture of the AGK?

Just kidding... although I do like them...

Maybe the new Knitty has something that will make you feel all, well, knitty? :)

Julie said...

Sounds like you'll be spending the weekend the same way I plan to (but there will be no zombies on my t.v.).

Cursing Mama said...

Thank goodness my conscious can't write....

gayle said...

Well, the obvious answer is to knit something for the kitties...
Covers all bases.

Teri S. said...

Ha! At least you're blogging regularly. Which is more than I can say about me. I am, however, dutifully knitting my Ravelympic socks, even though the Olympic torch has long since been extinguished. Hmmm...maybe we could form a partnership. I knit, you blog!

Jeanne said...

Dear Sheepie,

Please inform Your Conscience that it is perfectly acceptable to blog about the AGK and BFK because they are indeed made of fiber. Fluffy-wuffy kitty fur, which can, btw, be spun into yarn, thereby qualifying them as fibrous beasts worthy of blogging.

Sincerely,
A Huge Fan of the K's

Ginnie said...

No kittie pictures? That angel on one shoulder - devil on the other thing - that's the devil one speaking - the angel wants pictures AND knitting!

Cathy said...

or crochet.

just a suggestion.

Knitting Linguist said...

Man, you have got the most literate conscious I have ever read! I'm glad that mine doesn't know how to type...

crzjane said...

Oh my, now I feel I should be knitting too. Or perhaps spinning a little. But I want to read your blog. What to do? I'll have to think on this one for a bit.
Happy knitting! (But keep us informed as to possible zombie attacks. Thanks to you, I can sleep more soundly at night.)