Thursday, March 06, 2008

Time Warp

Time has lost all meaning here.  What day is it?  What time is it?  Should I be roasting a turkey?  Hanging a stocking?  Mowing the lawn?  I dunno.  

These were some of the highlights from my day...at least I think it was a day.  It might have been a week.  Or a minute?  I haven't the foggiest notion at this point.

*7:00 a.m.- Arrive at school after a 40 minute commute.  It took 30 of those minutes to convince myself that it was not Friday, but Thursday.  That allowed 10 minutes for weeping and gnashing of teeth.  It wasn't enough time.  What can I say?  Yesterday felt like Thursday to me...

8:30 a.m.- Say to student as he enters the room, "Excuse me, buddy.  I think you're a little confused.  You're supposed to be in Science right now."  He responds, "No.  That's not for another hour."  My Cheerful Teaching Assistant and I have a good chuckle at my inability to process today's schedule.

10:00 a.m.- My Cheerful Teaching Assistant is heard to ask, "Why aren't these kids heading down to lunch?"  She looked a little weepy for a second when several students pointed out that the first lunch doesn't start until 10:45.  We chuckled again...but it was kind of half-hearted.

11:30 a.m.- We send a 5th grader from the room because he is late for lunch.  The fact that 5th grade lunch doesn't start until 11:45 doesn't factor into our decision making process.  In fairness, we had been giving Maine Educational Assessments to kids with various reading disabilities all morning and things had gotten a bit grim.

12:00 p.m.- Both my Cheerful Teaching Assistant and I realize that neither of us had remembered to bring lunch today.  She had the strength to drive to the store.  I did not.  I found an orange left over from last week and ate half.  Not having any real grasp of time meant that I couldn't figure out when to eat anyway.

12:30 p.m.- My Other Cheerful Teaching Assistant (the one who only teaches with me in the morning and then works in the office) comes up to get something she'd left in the room.  Probably her lunch since she's more organized than the rest of us and wouldn't stoop to eating half an old orange.  She stops short in the doorway and asks, "Um...why does Ms. Sheep have her head on her desk like that?"  

I thought it was kind of cute how she was expecting an answer.  She's new.  She'll catch on to our ways soon.  At this point in her employment journey, though, she seemed a bit nonplussed to get no response from the top of my head and by how my First Cheerful Teaching Assistant could only seem to stare into space.  Finally, one of the two boys who were playing chess after finishing their MEAs said, "I dunno.  She yelled something about how it was 1:00 a couple of minutes ago, that it was now 12:30 and that time has started moving backwards.  Then she told us it was a conspiracy and that everyone was out to get her.  After that, she just put her head down."

12:32 p.m.- Other Cheerful Teaching Assistant exits and is not seen for the remainder of the day.  Which was long.  Because the clock was running backwards.

And it's not just work that has me all turned around.  I'm knitting socks.  But they don't seem to be getting any bigger.  I've been spinning this unbelievably beautiful merino/silk blend for ten years now and the fiber basket doesn't seem to be getting any less full.  And now I'm told that I have to set the clocks back this weekend thanks to the whims of some Daylight Savings Time Overlord.  I can't even get a handle on time with the clocks as they are right now.  Losing an hour will probably put me right over the edge.

Edited To Add:  It has been pointed out that I should really be setting my clocks ahead not back.  I am pretty sure I was going to do that.  But who knows at this point.  I'm a train wreck with the time...

As a final blow to my concept of time and its dubious forward passage, I received this in the mail the other day:


My American Association Of Retired Persons membership invitation.  


This would be handy if not for the fact that I am reasonably sure I'm not at retirement age. ( I think.  Who knows anymore?) For what it's worth, I don't think this was an accident.  Baby Brother Sheep may very well be behind this.  It is entirely possible that I went a teeny bit overboard with the My Brother Is A Grandfather commentary.  A full investigation is underway and the interrogations will be brutal.  But not too brutal...Grandpas are to be treated with respect, after all.

Even The Big, Fluffy Kitty is frozen in some sort of time loop.


She's still standing in the kitchen waiting for more Greenies treats.


SA

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

SPRING AHEAD this month, not FALL BACK. If you set your clocks back, you are going to be very late next week.
Love you,
Mommy sheep

Mel said...

You can join AARP at age 50. I know this because my mother threatened my father with bodily harm if he dared to try to sign her up when she reached that age (which was a few years back now). He just wanted the discounts and signed up a couple years later when he reached the Golden Age.

Mel said...

Oh, and listen to your mother.

Ronni said...

Let's face it, for some of us, a mnemonic that says spring back (such as away from a danger - like say peanut butter covered toddler faces that want to give kisses), fall forward (such as when pulled by a dog rushing to said no-longer-toddler) is going to more accurately reflect our lives.

I've found the auto clock function on the gadgets to be very helpful at this time of year. If the cell phone and the vcr both tell me I'm wrong about what time it is I figure the odds are they are right and I check. Plus bonus points for there's someone else to blame if my recording of Bones turns out to be something horrible like reality tv instead.

Kath said...

On the AARP invite? I feel your pain, shortly before b-day #39 I started receiving mail from More magazine. You know the one that "celebrates women over 40"?
Grrrrrr........

And I think BFK is trying to tell you that there should be more Greenies handed out!

Beth said...

I love that picture of the BFK! She looks so innocent and non-threatening. Usually her eyes freak me out. :)

I can never, ever remember what happens for each time change. Good thing I live with someone that knows what to do.

Jeanne said...

Oh, my, and the time change isn't for another three days. I think you need a vacation. Yes. To a warm climate. I'll keep the BFK in Greenies for ya.

kmkat said...

BFK, Greenies, and daylight savings time, all in one post. How can you stand the excitement, given your ::ahem:: advancing years?

Mia said...

Don'a ya just hate those backwards days? But LOVE that shot of BFK!!

Rabbitch said...

Baby, you've lost it, bigtime.

I'm glad it's not just me.

Julie said...

I'm with Rabbitch; I'm glad it's not just me too!

When my hubby turned 50, he signed up for AARP (never renewed again though) and he signed me up for a card because spouses can get a card. I was only 44; that card never left the coffee table until it went into the trash.

Great picture of BFK!

ds/dad/rad said...

Listen to your mother!!!!!
Dad

crzjane said...

Just wanted to let you know that the time warp thing was happening in Massachusetts too. What's up with the clocks? Why can't they move faster during the day and slower at night?
Fear not. Today is Friday! Yeah!

crzjane said...

Forgot to mention. I got the AARP invite when I was 24years old. They have no clue.

Karen said...

I thought it was just me. Time is doing strange things. Oh and this turning the clock thing. I hate missing an hour of sleep and having to deal with those who can't tell time and don't want to go to bed.

trek said...

Whoa! that is a grim greenie grabbing grimace on the BFK!

I just bought a new alarm clock - Tuesday, I drove Neatnik to school 15 minutes late due to previous (20+ year old model) deciding not to function. And I have to reprogram the thing even before its 1-week-adoption celebration?

I hate losing sleep.

Mr. Cheddar said...

Oh Fluffy One you are looking tres bella!!! Are the Greenie treats yummy? Have been asking mom to get some but none have shown up yet.

Tell your mom that all day yesterday ours kept asking, 'doesn't it feel like Friday' must be a humanoid thing???


Headbonks, Mr. Cheddar

Cursing Mama said...

I was so looking forward to falling back...and now it's ruined.

April said...

I'm with you, Sheepie, this week has been the longest month of my life.

Please, please, please can I have the BFK? Pleeeease?

Alwen said...

Gah, I hate it when time goes all gooey-cheese on me like that. It used to do that at staff meetings all the time.

Yarnhog said...

Oh, ouch. You should get double credit for days like that and not have to work the next day. I had a really horribly stressful job once upon a time, and there were days when it was four o'clock for at least six hours. And when my kids were babies, oh my god, some days lasted a week. And then one morning I woke up and my baby was eight, and I know I must have missed some years in there. So the time warp is a good theory. It explains a lot.

Kris said...

Those days just suck the will to live from me. However, I always know Thursdays because we have a half hour staff meeting that starts 15 minutes before the end of the day.

Lorraine said...

I have a theory - all that snow and ice your state is buried in has increased the total mass, increasing the gravitational forces, which affects the passage of time. Don't believe me?

Check out this link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravitational_time_dilation

Teri S. said...

I've got the same problem. Tuesday felt like it should have been Friday. I thought today was the 7th, not the 8th. It's all very confusing. And the time change is not going to help at all.

mehitabel said...

Darling BFK! I miss mine terribly. I loathe, despise, detest, and abominate daylight "saving" time--Ben Franklin's joke gone horridly wrong! (True. He was putting one over on the French and apparently some idiots over here believe it.) I hope you will do better with it than I will--my only hope is that Miss Audrey, in the way of 3-month-old babies, will keep to her current schedule!

knitseashore said...

Oh, BFK is adorable!!

Our Rosie may just give us another hour of sleep for the first few days of DST. Then she'll be waking us up at the crack of middle of the night as usual (yawn). I could give you a call, because if your clocks are running backwards, you might be up at that time too?

=Tamar said...

The Secret Masters are playing with time lately.

I believe you about the clock; I've seen two different alarm clocks run backwards randomly.