Saturday, March 15, 2008

Anyone Can Do It

I guess you just never can tell.  Maybe, even against all odds and with your own weird-wacky ways working against you, you can accomplish things.  Sometimes it seems unlikely, though.  Take, for example, this conversation from Friday morning.  As teachers who often have kids in the classroom for the full day, lunches and recesses included, we've gotten pretty good at having conversations while still maintaining decorum and upholding the standards of decency put forth by society.  The kids who are incarcerated with us are generally fairly amused.  Which is good because we don't like it when the general population gets disenfranchised.  It's a precarious balance sometimes.  A little bit of the levity is good.  

Ms. Sheep:  This situation with the kitty treats is getting completely out of hand!  The Big, Fluffy Kitty is crying for treats so I give her one, she eats it and then starts crying again because she can't find the treat anymore.  Then she looks at me all betrayed and it's awful!!!

Cheerful Teaching Assistant:  Mmm hmm....  

(She's heard this before.  Let's give her full credit for pretending it's the first time)

MS:  She's all, "Hey, where's my treat?  You said you'd give me a treat!"  And I'm all, "I just gave you already ate it.  Lick your lips!  You can probably still taste it, for crying out loud!"  Then she says, "This is a breach of contract!  You verbally promised me a treat and failed to follow through on that promise!  I want my lawyer.  Or a treat...whichever."  And then I get all mad and bring up the time she puked on the electric bill when I set it down on the floor for a second before putting it in my purse and it just gets ugly from there.  I don't know what I'm gonna do about this situation!  It's getting out of control.

Student Who Didn't Ask To Be Trapped With Us For Days On End But Is Making The Best Of It:  I love how you make it sound like the cat is really talking.  That's cool!

MS:  (looks puzzled)  Um...yeah.  The cat doesn't really talk.  Of course not.  That would be crazy.  (laughs unconvincingly)

I lost points there.  I know it.  Later, the Student Who Didn't Ask To Be Trapped With Us For Days On End But Is Making The Best Of It was subjected to a discussion on hair stylists.  This was during lunch time and he'd finished his chocolate milk so he had some time to kill.  We were being visited by our Favorite Substitute Teacher as she took a break from her first subbing gig in a while.  Catching up meant discussing the girly stuff.  The SWDATBTWUFDOEBIMTBOI had limited options for entertainment and must have figured this was better than nothing.

MS:  My stylist is a little overwhelming.  But it's for the best, really.  I have learned to just do what she says at this point in the relationship.  It's easier.  And the hair comes out better when I remember my place.  Frankly, she's become something of a Life Coach.

SWDATBTWUFDOEBIMTBOI:  What's a Life Coach?  Is that like a barber?

SA:  No, dear.  A Life Coach is someone who helps you work through stuff.  Someone you really trust and who can help you make good decisions.  It doesn't have to be your stylist.  It can be anyone, really.  I think everyone should have someone like that in their lives.

SWDATBTWUFDOEBIMTBOI:  But, I do.  I have you.

Let's all pause for a group "Awwwww!"  I think the circumstances demand it.  

We should all also make a note somewhere in our personal rule books about how sane behavior in the strictest sense of the word doesn't necessarily factor into the job description of Life Coaches.  Or spinners, for that matter.  

I finished up the Shetland lamb/silk blend and it is currently drying in random fits and starts.  It hasn't quite made up its mind with regard to how long this process is going to take and will periodically yell from the bathroom that it is all set.  But it's not all set.  It still has wet spots.  So I hang it back up in the shower and tell it the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf then go back to watching TV until it yells at me again.  

Cats aren't the only things that talk to me.  Hopefully tomorrow I'll have a skein of yarn to show you.  It's pretty.  But not all that trustworthy.

With the palate cleansing, practice yarn done, I was ready to tackle the next batch of fiber that come to me from the mind-numbingly beautiful stash at Cathy's house.  Having worked with commercially prepared rovings and tops for so long, I'm glad I took a minute to re-teach myself how to spin something in a closer to natural state.  Frankly, that's the only reason I was able to do this:

A Finn/Shetland blend that is making my heart swoon!

Love this!  Love it wholeheartedly and enough to have finished the first bobbin in a day.  The second will be started any minute now.  I would never in a million years have thought that these two fibers would work together.  But, I swear to you, they do!  It took me hours to figure out just what the colors were reminding me of.  I went through "grass," "seaweed," and "pine trees" (all things I love) before I hit on it.  Moss!  Cool, rich moss from the forest like the kind that I used to find at my grandmother's house when I was out exploring.  Back in the Before Time when I was a kid and it was OK that the cats were talking to me because that's what kids hear.  I like this yarn.  It is a stable and sane sort of yarn and makes me feel sane in turn.

It's not easy being a Life Coach.  There is pressure.  You need things that make you feel stable.  Otherwise, come June, I'll be turning loose kids who have been less than well-coached in life matters.  

And I'll probably get a lot of phone calls about that.  



Anonymous said...

First, I really do have to say "Awwwww". But, somehow, I've always had the feeling that your students probably felt that way about you.

The spinning of the moss is beautiful!

Beth said...

I'm with Julie. I really did think "Awwwww" when I read your story. Your moss yarn is so pretty! It must be very pleasant to spin.

trek said...

Number Guy said, "Doh!" - he also says you copy and paste too much.

I, however, was very impressed with SWDATBTWUFDOEBIMTBOI's observation astute observation (and, yes, I did copy and paste his label).

mzmouze said...

Cats don't talk?

Donna Lee said...

I was impressed that the student (I am not up to copying and pasting tonight, typing is my limit) had the guts to say something complimentary to a teacher. Good for him. Good for you!

Knittymama said...

That's just too cute, and the yarn? Too gorgeous. Makes we want to drag out my wheel right now, only I have a pizza in the oven and a movie to start, which requires a sock, not a wheel.

I just reread my last sentence and realized it's one of those scentences that if a non-knitter read it, they would really think I was a nutter.

catsmum said...

that was equally for the lovely mossy yarn and the student
I think that SWDATBTWUFDOEBIMTBOI [ and yes I cut and pasted too ] is going to make someone a good husband one day.
definitely got potential that one!

and what do you mean cats don't talk? Does this mean goats don't either? please say it isn't so

Future SIL said...

If cats and goats can't talk, that means dogs can't either. Say it isn't so. I can't bear to hear the truth. ::covering ears::

Karen said...

Lovely yarn you're spinning there.
You gave me the Awwwww feeling with your story too.

Yarnhog said...


I have strange things talking to me all the time. I'm told they're called "children", but I can't for the life of me imagine where they came from or why they think I'm listening.

Jeanne said...

I can't possibly follow Yarnhog's comment with anything remotely witty so I'll just say "I approve of this entry and moss yarn" and leave it at that. Oh, and "Awwwwwww".

Lynne said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! That's my Aussie accent!!

What would SWDATBTWUFDOEBIMTBOI [yes, I did] say if he knew your yarn talked to you?!?!