Sunday, February 11, 2007

Puh-leeeeeeeeeze!!

My cold rages on. I'm just an itchy, shivery, sneezy, drippy Sheepie. I'm not complaining...much. I know that I've been lucky this season and have managed to avoid most of the goo that's been going around. I'm not exactly happy about my having been struck down by that most miserable of viruses known as the common cold. But I suppose it could have been worse.

At any rate, it became clear around three o'clock this morning that I was going to need to make a trip to the grocery store for a supply of over-the-counter remedies if I was going to survive this with some measure of dignity. I was also out of Mountain Dew.

Things went fairly well right up until I hit the check-out. I have had something of a run of good luck at the grocery store of late so I wasn't all that surprised to see the registered being manned by Teenage Boy In Coma. I unloaded my few purchases onto the conveyor belt unacknowledged by TBIC who simply stared open-mouthed at the doors behind the register, perhaps contemplating the status of his Ivy League college applications. To be fair, it was early and I wasn't exactly alert myself. I figured if he didn't notice me in fairly short order that I could sneeze on him and make him aware of my drippy presence. Fortunately, this was not required. He began ringing up my items without my having to spray him with Sheep virus.

Things then took something of a strange turn. He tried to "card" me.

Let's set aside the fact that none of my purchases this morning required the showing of identification. Unless, of course, the sale of Dove Dark Chocolate Bars is now under the control of the state. And clearly this was not the case since the carding process was aborted once it was determined that my shopping list did not include tequila and limes. But, for me, this raised a series of other brain cramps.

I'm not delusional. On a good day, a very good day with subtle lighting, 8 hours of sleep and creatively applied cosmetics, I can pull off mid-thirties. Maybe. And I can assure you that none of those circumstances were at work under the harsh fluorescents of the local market early this bright and sunny morning. Twenty-one years of age was not even a consideration. I'm not being self-deprecating here. Just honest.

I can only assume that:

A) TBIC is suffering from a serious degenerative disease of the eyeballs

B) TBIC, noting the plethora of sickness supplies, opted to rouse himself from his coma long enough to toss out a random act of kindness

C) The prescription strength moisturizer recommended by my doctor to deal with my itchy, winter dry skin is more powerful than time itself

D) It is now de rigueur among the younger set to begin snorting drain cleaner before 7:00 am.


Whichever of the above may apply, it does not speak well of the observational powers of the youth of our nation. And, judging by his expression following a closer examination of my Sheepie visage, Teenage Boy In Coma is now aware of this.

Back on the homefront, I loaded up on a variety of medications designed to soak up the sinus tides then hit the fiber trail. Things progressed slowly given my snuffly state, but I now have a mere 14 rows and 7 decreases before I can say that all sweater components are off the needles and ready for assembly. OK...I haven't made the collar yet. But that is picked up and knit later so it doesn't count. Either way, I'm pretty close to the part I hate the most: finishing. I like being finished. I just don't like finishing.

I also completed one full bobbin of the unknown fiber and have begun a second.




Tah-Dah!!!
I have monitored myself diligently in an attempt at spinning a thicker single than I normally do. I don't know just when it happened, but it seems that I have become a spinner of the fine singles. I'm hoping for a yarn that is close to worsted weight and only want to do a two-ply. Funny how much more quickly the spinning goes when the singles are chunkier. Must make a note of that for future reference. I'm rather pleased with this yarn thus far. It's soft and squooshy. I think it will work rather nicely for a next-to-skin sorta garment. And I am a fragile flower with skin that is delicate like gossamer silk. The bright red nose that I am sporting right now after two days of steady blowing is an indicator of this. I require the softest of touches in my wearables. One must care for the epidermal layers, you know.
It is the key to my youthful appearance.
SA

19 comments:

trek said...

I laughed so hard, I choked on Monkey Pox phlegm.

Beth said...

"Creatively applied cosmetics" - so funny! I think we should start a Monkey Pox club. I've been sick for two weeks. :(

Congratulations on finishing the sweater parts. You're almost done!

Diana said...

Your spinning looks beautiful. Moutain Dew and NyQuil my two favs!

Julie said...

It's been many, many, many moons since I was last carded :(

Jeanne said...

Hmm. Maybe TBIC noted your red swollen eyes and drippy nose and thought you were stoned and assumed you were buying reinforcements in order to extend the buzz.

That, or he's just plain one of the undead.

Hope you feel better soon! The yarn you're spinning is lovely!

Sheila said...

Remember...I've seen your picture(s), and you look about 26, which is close enough to 21 to be carded. People think I look younger when I'm make-up free and sloppily dressed, sooo...

Mel said...

Well, I think I'm with Jeanne on this one. My first thought was, "Zombie!"

Mouse said...

I think you should have sneezed on him.

Laurie said...

Those tissues with aloe help. And when desperate, baby wipes are kind to the nose as long as baby is not involved. I trust you will be feeling better by Friday. That's probably the only good news in this virus.

brenda said...

I can't remember the last time I was carded, but I had a similar reaction. I think I actually said to my TBIC: "WHAT?! Are you kidding?!"
The spinning is gorgeous and I can't wait to see the sweater. Good luck on decreasing the goo.

kmkat said...

Sometime in the past 20 years the Powers That Be in Minnesota, or at least in Minneapolis, decided that liquor store clerks should card everyone, no matter if the customer is gray and wrinkled and obviously over 85. Card everyone.

So I chuckle when I'm carded, since -- don't tell anyone! -- I'm closer to 60 than 50. It brightens my day every darned time.

Take care of yourself and you'll be over that cold in a week. Abuse it and it'll take 7 days. That's what modern medicine tells us.

Bells said...

you know what? I'd forget the analysis and just walk around in a state of delusion for a day or so believing I look better to other people than I do to myself! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Get better.
At walmart Saturday the young man (who had a 2001 high school ring on) actually asked me in a creepy way if I had waited in line long and was his line moving at a good pace. I said no, yes but the whole time my mind was screaming "Get me out of here NOW!"
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Kate said...

I think nowadays they have to card you if you buy cold medicine that actually works to make sure that you are not cooking up some meth. I think it's hilarious that they do this when you are buying a single box of decongestant and your whole face is running. My teenager's face has been running for 10 days and my HM is pretty sure I'm coming down with it too.

Anne said...

I hope you have already totally kicked the cold thing. If nothing else, your ego musta gotten a healthy kick in the shorts from being carded.

Cathy said...

Niccccce spinning. You can wear your new sweater to SPA. ;-)

Lorraine said...

Yup, it might have been the cold medicine. In MN, we have to show i.d., fill out forms, register with the pharmacy, sign away our life savings and hand over our first born to get decongestants, all because of meth.

Knitstress Tygher said...

It's the cold medicine, sheepie. They are required to card anyone purchasing cold medicine, regardless of age, that has certain alcohol content or decongestants. Wierd, but true.

Feel better .. and get someone to make you some chicken soup if you're not up to making it yourself. I swear, it has magical qualities.

Brenda said...

The grocery where my parents shop now cards everyone, including my 69 year old parents. Of course, you do have to be buying liquor to be carded!

The spinning looks lovely!

I hope you feel better soon.