On With The Show!

When the story of The Sheep is finally told (and I'm sure it will, albeit in a venue that is off, off, off Broadway, at best) it will feature a show-stopping musical number complete with scantily clad dancers wearing top hats and waving sparklers. The song to which they will tip their hats and shower the audience with sparks will be my own personal theme song: But I Have An Excuse..."

As is typical of me right before a school vacation week, I made many plans for how I might better my life and residential circumstances during the time away from work. There was to be scouring, sweeping, scrubbing and sanitizing. By week's end, I had all intentions of living in the condominium version of an operating theater. And that's pretty darned clean.

And, as is also typical of me, I did very little of the cleaning. There were a few half-hearted swipes around various household surfaces with damp rags and dust removal products. I think I may have swept once. And I vividly recall swishing some bleachy substance around the toilet bowl, but that could have been a dream. I'm not really sure...

It is always the same: I fritter away the week then spend the Sunday before returning to my life of toil frantically attempting to achieve something vaguely resembling "tidy" while the clock ticks down. But...I have an excuse. Honest. I really do. There are many people in my life who, upon hearing this familiar refrain, will have already begun shaking their heads sadly at this point.

But not you guys. You'll understand. You're cool that way.

I mean, how the heck is one supposed to be attending to the swabbing of the decks when one's spinning mojo has returned? I'm not made of stone, here! When one kicks off their week of vacation with a trip to the vendor room at SPA, what do you think is going to happen??? Am I supposed to return to hearth and home with a bag full of the happiness then set it aside so that I can make the house smell like artificial lemons?

I say, "NO!" There must be spinning. There must be the fondling of the fibers and the sniffing of the yarns. There must be the putting off of the oil change in the truck until the very end of the week just so that the spinning can continue uninterrupted for as long as possible. There shall be a lack of groceries and a certain odor to the unattended litter box. The wheel and the spindle shall reign supreme over all that is domestic and disinfected. So say I and so it be.

Thus, I give you the fruits of my labors over the past week:

From left to right: Shire Blend in progress on the spindle; 2 oz. black lump of spindle spun; 12 oz. of a very soft mystery fiber that awaits the plying.

I may be living in squalor, but I'm OK with that. Clean is overrated. Being exposed to a little of the bacteria can only kick my immune system up a notch. I'll be a healthier Sheep for letting the mold cultures cultivate just a bit longer.

There was a bit 'o the knittin' but not as much as I'd hoped. The sweater that I'd slated for completion this week got a bit sidetracked when it refused to behave and had to be sent to time out for blocking. The collar is now laying flat so it was worth the time spent, but this put me a bit behind schedule. To fill the empty hours, I knit a bit on my latest sock as I'd like to get past the gussets before class on Wednesday. That way I can bring it along and just knit mindlessly in the round while I think of all the other things I'd rather be doing with my life. The drop stitch scarf has had a little growth spurt, but not in a good way. I have somehow managed to add to its width in addition to its length. I blame the garage knitting. Taking it to visit with the mechanics during the oil change on Friday may have been a mistake. How else does one explain the screwing up of the most simple of patterns except to say that the fumes from all the rubber and gasoline were killing off my brain cells?

All in all, though, it was a lovely vacation week and I am currently exploring careers that will allow me to sit at home and knit ever-widening scarves for a living. I think that is my calling, really. Me on the couch, cartoons blaring in the background, cats cavorting in the foreground, fiber everywhere...

It would make a great closing number for Sheep: The Musical!

SA