A Face Only Mommy Sheep Could Love...

Well, the truck and The Sheep have reached an agreement. It is free to leave the engine light on provided that it doesn't "flash" it at me. In return, The Sheep agrees to stop the swearing and name calling and will feed it large amounts of dry gas. If it really behaves, then I will take it to the spa-like facilities at the dealership instead of to the low-budget mechanic we generally visit. I don't have time to haggle with my vehicle. I've got other things with which to contend right now.

For today was "picture delivery day" at school. That's right. I'm 41 years old and I still get a school picture package every year. Staff photos are taken every fall for i.d. badges and the company throws in a complementary package of pix that most of us don't really want. Fortunately, they only give us a few and those can be passed on to parents and older relatives who still get all excited by a new photo of their Sheepie niece. If it comes out well, then I usually set one aside. That way, should The Sheep decide one day to run off and join the circus, you all will have something to put on the side of the milk carton. I like to make it easy for people...

However, when one of my staff walked in the room clutching her photo envelope, I sensed that something might be amiss this year. Please bear in mind that said staff person is all of 27 years old, has perfect skin, dark eyes and shiny hair. And her shoes??? To die for! She then proceeded to show the contents of her photo package.

"Look!!! Why did we get so many??? What am I going to do with all these pictures??"

I was then treated to multiple images of the cute, young, perfect little staff member in all her glory. While, I was able to summon the inner strength to not weep profusely in her presence, I failed to grasp the larger issue.

This means that there are at least as many reproductions of The Sheep waiting in her mailbox. And she is neither 27 nor perfectly coiffed. And her shoes? Not so good...

I am now the proud owner of:

Two 8x10s
Four 3 1/2x5s
Four 5x7s
Twenty wallet size
Four black and white reproductions in multiple sizes

and, as God is my witness, a 2007 calendar with my face smack in the middle.

Um...what am I going to do with all these stupid pictures? Yeah, I got the relatives and the milk carton covered. But what am I going to do with the rest of them? I'd throw them away, but I'm afraid that some famous millionaire will be rooting through the trash, see my stunning visage, fall madly in love and then I'll be in all the tabloids for breaking up his 48 year marriage to the blueberry queen of Maine. I'll not risk it, I tell you!

So, heaven help you if you have ever mailed me anything. I may still have your address. And, if I do, it is highly likely that you will be getting a school picture of The Sheep with something like, "Hey, remember all the good times in study hall? BFF, Sheepie" scrawled on the back.

Sleep with one eye open people. It could happen to you. I've already cut one from the sheet to stick in with Sheila's dishcloth package.

Now that I've terrified the blogging world and people are frantically searching their memories to recall whether or not they have ever inadvertently shared their mailing address with me, let's take a minute to review the knitting progess:

Chevron Stripes Towel: untouched since the weekend

Super-soft little sockie: progressing nicely

Knitting Sheep: still on large amounts of cold medicine to combat the coughing. She's pretty happy...

Now I must go review my mailing lists and start cutting out pictures. Heh, heh!

SA