Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Its A Jungle Out There!

Playground safety has come a long way since The Sheep was a wee little lambie. Equipment is kinder and gentler than it once was in the hopes of reducing injuries. We have anti-bullying and social skill programs in order to help kids make better choices when it comes to interacting with the rest of the human race. We do good work, if I do say so myself. We have a plan for every possible event that could cause harm to our future doctors, lawyers and presidents.

But kids will find a way. They are crafty. For every safety measure we put into place, they have a contingency plan. They are bound and determined to punish us for making them eat their veggies by causing grey hairs to sprout overnight.

Yesterday's recess horror-tally was a new record as far as I'm concerned. We had one broken leg and one snake bite. The leg was the result of a particularly zealous ball-related game and the snake bite was just poor judgment. The leg required that I sacrifice a staff person so someone could comfort the victim and meet the ambulance. The snake required a memo about the dangers of handling wild creatures for one's general amusement. The snake also took a good chunk out of my teaching day given that I had to explain umpty-gazillion times that the likelihood of a poisonous snake vacationing on a Southern Maine playground was pretty much nil. This did little to quash the rumor mill and by lunchtime, it was general knowledge that a new and highly aggressive form of poisonous reptile had migrated to the frozen north in order to paralyze 6th graders who were just minding their own business and/or terrorizing local wildlife.

Sheesh!

What with my allergies mutating into a lovely respiratory infection, my patience for this stuff is pretty low. Fortunately none of my students were among the injured and we were able to move on with the day. Today, the whole thing was nothing but a distant memory and the little darlings are now plotting new ways to scare the staff into cardiac arrest. Its nice that they have a hobby and all...

No new knitting to report, what with all the working and visiting of relatives. We are hoping to have something off the needles and ready for your review during the weekend, but that may be optimistic. For now, a little piece of advice: give your children the information they need to keep themselves safe out there in the big, wide world.

Then wrap them in kitchen towels and duct tape. The extra padding may be a good idea.

SA

13 comments:

trek said...

Is that a handknit linen kitchen towel whose yarn was lovingly spun by a Sheep?

mrichme said...

Oh Sheepish! Only tales from a school with Roman numerals have put a smile on my face that lasted for more than a minute.

I think a great public service moment for kids at your school would be to force them to watch the late Steve Irwin in order to learn the safety rules in handling wild creatures. "Crimny, there's a wild snake in Maine!"

I think Child1 could come over with the playground rap and help teach your students proper playground safety.

Keep the faith, today is only an exception not the rule (or at least I keep telling myself that).

Beth said...

A snake bite and a broken leg? That's a rough day! I'm sorry to hear you have a respiratory infection. Did you get some antibiotics? I hope they kick in and you're well soon!

Mia said...

Oh my gosh Sheepie.. I just don't know how you do it... you are truly a special lady :-)

Glad the injuries weren't worse.. I think you need some good Sheepie knittin' time.. and maybe a toddy or two.. just sayin *grin*

Julie said...

A SNAKE ON THE PLAYGROUND???!!!
Horrors! Have you noticed that sheep seem to attract creepy crawly things? Snakes, spiders...

Sheila said...

Boy am I glad not to be the nurse at your school!
A hot toddy sounds like a good idea...oh, and one for you.
What a martyr you are....rest well and feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

I guess from now on that will define a bad day. Let it not get any worse!
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Lorraine said...

How about bubble wrap? Then again, all that snap, crackle, popping might drive the grown-ups mad.

cursingmama said...

Ahh - reminds me of the "Daily Puke Report*" I used to get back when the kidlets were in their early elementary years. Now of course someone would have to lose a limb (like their head) in a wild accident involving a nun (catholic schools) and a plastic fork for me to hear anything about it from them.

*At recess Tammy told me that Joe threw up on Suzy in Miss Abrams class and then Suzy threw up too. Miss Abrams got so upset she cried and then threw up. They all had to go home.

hillary said...

Snakes on a Playground! Yikes! As the mother of a certain Drama Queen who broke both her left and right wrists during the past school year - at school - I can only imagine the trouble that kids get into. This is one of the many reasons why I'm not a teacher.

Lori said...

You poor thing! Talk about a nightmare day at work! I thought I had it bad!

mrichme said...

First we had SNAKES ON A PLANE. Now we have SNAKES ON THE PLAYGROUND. Does that mean we're going to hear SNAKES IN THE CLASSROOM!

The Purloined Letter said...

What a story! I feel like I say that in EVERY comment to you--but my goodness! Snakes on a playground?

Ninety years ago my grandmother put a snake in her teacher's desk. The teacher opened it up later to get a pencil out, closed it again, looked up at the one-room schoolhouse population and said, "JEAN! Come GET this SNAKE out of my desk." When Granny gets reincarnated, I'm sending her your way. Y'all would hit it off. (She was a knitter, too.)