Saturday, September 09, 2006

The Sheep Thinks Deep Thoughts.

Every once in a while, The Sheep finds herself witness to a debate with regard to the possible gender of the Almighty. Some prefer to think of this greater power in male terms, others are leaning towards female. I am a neutral Sheep, for the most part. It is my feeling that I'll probably be made privy to this detail at some point during the transitional period between "breathing" and "not breathing." Meanwhile it is my purpose in life to be kind to others and count yarn-overs.

However, there are sometimes little hints and clues that fling themselves in my path which cannot be ignored. Given some of the events of late, I am currently leaning toward the idea that God might be a dude.

Let's face it. The males of the species tend to have a slightly different sense of humor than the gals. If you doubt me on this one, allow me to simply refer to The Three Stooges. Need I say more?

Yesterday afternoon, following a moderately stressful incident involving a student missing his bus, I transported myself from the Maine/New Hampshire border (where I teach) to the Greater Portland area (where I am supposed to be employed as a social services provider but now seem to be the in-house graphic designer) in order that I might continue work on the dreaded promotional mailing that has been in the works since July. An hour commute is a small price to pay for the world seeing this masterpiece. The whole thing has been approved, but needs to be resized due to the fact that we are not going to have this professionally printed. These are to be cranked out on the ancient printer we use in the office. Two hours and three head-smashes courtesy of the shelf thoughtfully installed above the printer by my boss later, I threw in the towel and accepted the fact that some things were never meant to be centered.

After a good night's sleep, I arose with a better attitude and hope for all things good. I arrived at the pharmacy right at 9:00 a.m. sharp in order to get my prescription filled. I was greeted by a cranky pharmacist who had come in late and was incensed by my having arrived with a need of some sort. I was then subjected to a lengthy rant of the subject of doctors who fail to fill in their dea #s on the scrip and that I have now placed his license in jeopardy by my very presence. The fact that I am not the prescribing physician did not seem to ease his ire. Nor did my willingness to provide a copy of my photo i.d. for documentation later should there be some question with regard to what drug-addled individual might have made off with this low-dose medication. It can't have been too big a deal given that he did fill the prescription, but I will make sure that little number is on the slip in the future, you can be sure. I am highly sympathetic to issues involving licenses the the retaining thereof. I just don't like to be yelled at, is all...

Once home and fully medicated, an attempt was made at a Garterlac dishcloth. There were the usual errors and restarts, but I honestly thought I had it. Then the phone rang. It was Amy, my favorite stylist, querying as to why I had failed to show up for my appointed hair repair. It seems that little item had slipped my mind. After profuse apologies, we agreed to try again next week. Meanwhile Persephone, who is of the opinion that each time I speak aloud I am actually requesting her furry feline presence, hopped up on the couch and began rearranging the knitting. And thus, we lost all sense of where we were in the pattern. It seemed best to go back to the well-known Octagonal Swirl pattern that has served me so well.

In addition, it seems that the greater power referenced at the beginning of this long tale opted to add a little step in the female developmental progression between "maiden" and "crone." The tag "perimenopause" was slapped on and said power then sat back to watch the show. This is not subtle humor, folks. It is slapstick. It is right up there with "pull my finger." It is a Screamin' Sheep.

It just reeks of "guy humor."

I'm not sayin' one way or the other. Its really not my call. I'm just adding a little more data to the general knowledge bank. Do with it what you will.

Despite my addled state, the Spinnin' 'O The Linen continues with mixed results. I really want a sport weight yarn when I'm done so I've tried to get a somewhat thicker single.

Neither the photography nor the spinning is what you'd call my best work.
But it is interesting to spin and will probably knit up just fine. I've been fiddling with the sample swatch to see how washing and handling will affect the stitches and feel. Basically, I've taken out a lot of frustration on this poor little swatchie. It holds up quite well and feels much better the more you abuse it. I'm not sure that I will be a linen convert in the long run, but it has made a nice change of pace despite it's not quite spinning like I'd hoped it would.
I'm hoping for a quiet evening of dishcloth knitting with some therapeutic chocolate on the side. Whomever this deity is, the fact that they put the sweet stuff on the planet has made up for quite a bit of the laughs at my expense lately.
The chocolate part might actually be a tally mark for the "female" side of the God debate...


Teri S. said...

I've often wondered about the gender issue myself but then find myself wondering if there actually is a deity out there. Oh sounds like you had quite the interesting day. But chocolate will fix everything.

Anonymous said...

YES! Thank God for chocolate!

Sheila said...

How does a lactose intolerance coupled with a dairy allergy fit into the whole gender/humor question? Yes, some of us cannot take comfort in chocolate. Herbal teas help.
I've got to try one of those spiral dishclothes...they look so fun to knit.
I'm off to "login und Veroffrentlichung".

trek said...

I'd try to be really funny here - but Number Guy just informed me that something seems to have broken upstairs and so I must go discover what has broken apparently. More guy humor I suppose.

Beth said...

I'm going to try the garlerlac dishcloth tonight. I guess I'd better get the chocolate ready!

Mel said...

So I was surfing around the queerknit ring and found someone practically in my own back yard. Hiya, neighbor!

Veggies,Crafts & Tails said...

Hope you have a better day today Sheep, whoever's up there watching....(perhaps knitting while surveying the human race) LOL....

Headbonks from the Mitz for D and P and Huggs from, G

catsmum said...

as another perimenopausal knitter I salute you my dear sheep. Just repeat my mantra : today I am 51% sweetheart, 49% bitch... percentages subject to change :] and just btw as one who hasn't yet attempted spinning with anything other than a humble drop spindle, your effort looked pretty damn good to me!

The Purloined Letter said...

Great post! The first paragraph is going up on my bulletin board.