Wednesday, May 12, 2010

WNBP: The Back-Up Plan

I had a brief and happy moment upon arriving home where I thought it was Thursday.  You can only imagine my emotional decline when I realized that it is Wednesday.  On the positive side, it is the day of the Wednesday Night Bullet Post and those always make me happy.  Let's see if we can't come up with some fun-filled tidbits from the Sheepish Files for you...

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty has discovered a way to get into that cupboard I duct taped shut.

*Ingenious, really.

*He squiggles in through the little gap between the dishwasher and the cupboard.

*Of course, once he's in there he can't escape because he's used up all his squiggle and the cupboard won't open.

*Lots of pathetic thumping sounds that make the Big Fluffy Kitty roll her eyes in disgust.

*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant was out sick today.

*She was out on Monday and had no business coming in yesterday.

*Very sick CTA.

*I hugged the unfinished sock in my bag four times today because that is what one does when one needs comfort in a short-staffed situation.

*I don't seem to knit anymore, but I'm getting wicked good at sock hugging.

*When I expressed concern over the CTA's upcoming wedding and her need to get better really, really fast, one of my students said:

*"Well, can't they just do it a different day?"

*He's a boy.  He doesn't know from weddings.  Not his fault...

*I did a twenty minute lecture on caterers and venue reservations.  And florists.  

*When their eyes were done glazing over, someone had the brilliant idea of planning a back-up wedding for the CTA.

*Just in case...

*It might have been me who thought of it, but I can't say for certain.  It's kind of a blur.

*We worked up quite a plan.

*We've sort of reserved the hallway outside the library because it's really long and would make an awesome Bride Walk.

*The Boy Who Needs A Nicotine Patch By Noon is going to give her away.

*He promised to wear his clean black hoodie for the occasion.

*Spunky Girl did the invitations and availed herself of the copier in the main office so we'd have them ready to go if needed.

*She's new.  Don't worry, though.  She's only in 5th grade so you've got years to get to know her.

*The Great Debater, when asked about the cake, declared that he wanted a purple one.

*He has no idea where to get a purple cake or the actual flavor of such a confection but he was very clear on this point.

*The Tortured Artist (also new to the group) enthusiastically volunteered to costume the event.

*"Costume" was his word, not mine.  I think we might all be wearing capes...

*Not everyone was as quick to come up with ideas.

*The kid who is Gauged And Aerodynamic looked confused when I asked for his suggestions regarding what we might need.

*The best he could come up with for our list was a hesitant pause followed by:


*Later he clarified this and explained that we would be needing something to hold our beers.

*This is going to be a classy event with beer in plastic cups rather than tacky cans.

*I do not anticipate remaining employed by this school district when it is over but I think I can live with that.

*Still need to check with the librarian about the reception.

*I'll get that on the list for tomorrow...

*It was a busy day and I've got a cat duct taped in the cupboard.

*It's not like I can do everything, for crying out loud!!!

As you can see, I've got a lot on my plate right now.  I can barely find the time to not knit a sock.  Hugging it is taking up precious minutes that could be used for wedding planning and cat rescuing.  But I carry on because that is what I do.  If I don't, who will?  There would be no back-up plan for anything!

You have no idea how much I wish it was Thursday.  There is no back-up plan for Wednesday.  Even if you make a list and put it up on the white board for all to see.

Should probably add "explain that list to the CTA" to tomorrow's tasks...



Anonymous said...

I think the students did an excellent job of wedding planning. Cake, beer cups, awesome Bride Walk... really, what else could you possibly need?

You might want to introduce those kids to I'm sure they could get some terribly good ideas there.

trek said...

"No capes!"
- Edna Mode

Beth said...

I'm sure the CTA will be very relieved to know there is a backup plan! Hang in there, SA!

Mia said...

ohhh, the new new kids sound like fun :))

Karen said...

Did you let AGK out of the cabinet?
The wedding plan sounds good. You and the kids can open a company planning weddings if the whole teacher/student thing doesn't work out.

rachel said...

I found you advice on coping with zombies :)

The weding planssound awesome!

Elizabeth said...

oh my god --- I just want to say thank you for your blog. You write so vividly. And make me laugh every time.

Susan said...

I am delurking to say how much I enjoy reading your blog. You are so witty and have a unique way of finding the humor and downright "absurdity" in so many situations. I live in northeastern MA, and vacation frequently in southern ME, so I identify with your weather and "culture." In an earlier stage of my work life, I taught what was then called junior high and came to know many students who probably should have been in a class like yours. And I knit. So I enjoy your blog on many levels and for many reasons.

Donna Lee said...

What a lucky CTA to have you all to make her a back up plan. I'll bet that spurs her onto health quickly.

A purple cake would be purple flavored, right? Not grape. Purple lollipops don't taste like grape but are purple flavored.

And capes could be glorious. And interesting.

=Tamar said...

I think a purple cake would have blueberries involved somehow.

Verification word is "mervele."

Teri S. said...

I wish I could have been there to evesdrop on that discussion. It sounds like it was a lot of fun. Hopefully the CTA will get well soon. And even more hopefully, you'll actually get some knitting time in, sock or otherwise.

Knitting Linguist said...

Thank you for that visual of the AGK in a duct-taped cupboard -- that's going to carry me through a lot of grading today!

Gracey is not my name.... said...

Just found you today! Very funny! The majority of the class next door today escaped the sub by telling her they go "help" I had to track them all down....

The backup plan is great and so ingenious!

Kath said...

I guess it's too much to hope that if AGK gets stuck in the cupboard enough times he'd stop? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Looking forward to hearing more about the new kids and hey - you've got a girl in the class at last!

Julia G said...

Nothing like a good sock hug when you're too frazzled to knit. I love the wedding plans -- they covered all the important points, including helping each other out.

My verification word is "pawses" -- how cute is that?!