I don't ask for much around here. I know my place. I clean the litter box, open the cans and make sure a lap is available when needed. I have never once questioned the order of things. Which is why, when I do make a request, I expect some consideration.
Hence, you can imagine my distress upon arriving home Thursday afternoon to find that you did that one thing I told you NOT to do. It took me a minute to really process what I was seeing. And I couldn't believe it even after the truth became evident.
You really did it this time. I can only assume you knew what havoc you'd wrought, although I doubt you grasped the full extent of it. It wasn't just that you did that one thing I specifically forbade you to do. It was everything else.
Taking care of this little act of defiance caused me to sacrifice one of the "good" shopping bags. I was forced into having one of the most patently absurd conversations I've ever had in my whole life. It required that I endure people shaking their heads at me sadly while I said things like, "I'm so sorry. I know this is serious. I don't know what's wrong with me..."
You also really upset your brother. I know you don't much care about that. I'm only reporting it because I think it's important you get the full picture here. He's still really freaked out and that is not a good look on an Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty.
The worst of it all was that we talked about this. You know we did. You remember. It was a couple of years ago. That horrible day after Christmas when we were both so overwhelmed and sad. We were sitting in our special spot on the couch. I was holding you close and I whispered it right into your ear. I know you heard me.
Please. Never die. Ever. You can do anything else you want. Just not that. I don't think I could take it. It would destroy me...
Just this. Nothing else. It didn't seem like too much to ask. Not then. You didn't voice an objection. I don't understand why you couldn't do that one thing for me. That one little thing.
Maybe someday I'll get to the place where I can understand that you would have rather stayed with me. That you would have done it if you could. Or that you maybe stayed a little longer than you should have just because you knew I wanted it. Perhaps then I'll feel better about all this. Not right now, though. At the moment, I can only think that wanting something badly enough to demand it should be enough. Especially if you want only one thing.