Just This...

I don't ask for much around here.  I know my place.  I clean the litter box, open the cans and make sure a lap is available when needed.  I have never once questioned the order of things.  Which is why, when I do make a request, I expect some consideration.

Hence, you can imagine my distress upon arriving home Thursday afternoon to find that you did that one thing I told you NOT to do.  It took me a minute to really process what I was seeing.  And I couldn't believe it even after the truth became evident.

You really did it this time.  I can only assume you knew what havoc you'd wrought, although I doubt you grasped the full extent of it.  It wasn't just that you did that one thing I specifically forbade you to do.  It was everything else.

Taking care of this little act of defiance caused me to sacrifice one of the "good" shopping bags.  I was forced into having one of the most patently absurd conversations I've ever had in my whole life.  It required that I endure people shaking their heads at me sadly while I said things like, "I'm so sorry.  I know this is serious.  I don't know what's wrong with me..."

You also really upset your brother.  I know you don't much care about that.  I'm only reporting it because I think it's important you get the full picture here.  He's still really freaked out and that is not a good look on an Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty.

The worst of it all was that we talked about this.  You know we did.  You remember.  It was a couple of years ago.  That horrible day after Christmas when we were both so overwhelmed and sad.  We were sitting in our special spot on the couch.  I was holding you close and I whispered it right into your ear.  I know you heard me.

Please.  Never die.  Ever.  You can do anything else you want.  Just not that.  I don't think I could take it.  It would destroy me...

Just this.  Nothing else.  It didn't seem like too much to ask.  Not then.  You didn't voice an objection.  I don't understand why you couldn't do that one thing for me.  That one little thing.

Maybe someday I'll get to the place where I can understand that you would have rather stayed with me.  That you would have done it if you could.  Or that you maybe stayed a little longer than you should have just because you knew I wanted it.  Perhaps then I'll feel better about all this.  Not right now, though.  At the moment, I can only think that wanting something badly enough to demand it should be enough.  Especially if you want only one thing.

Just this...

SA