Total Lack Of Communication

I am normally one who finds both comfort and giggles in the little things. The big stuff? It's just a part of life. Something goes wrong...you deal. I'm pretty good at finding perspective.

That sock I'm knitting? And how it's almost done? That would keep me going for a week!

When Mr. Principal made us all wave lit flashlights in the air to prove that our emergency kits were still working before we left the staff meeting today? Well, that's freakin' adorable!!! All those lights shining brightly against the library ceiling were like little beacons of hope in a world where power can (and did just yesterday) go out.

Alas, my sense of humor has abandoned me at the moment. I'm certain it will return. Other people aren't even aware that it has left the building. I was the laugh-riot of the staff meeting today and no less than two people told me so. But, deep down, I know that I'm just phoning it in.

Or I would. If I had working phones.

Yesterday, I called the phone company to see how things were going with repairs. Here's how it went:

Phone Lady: And how may I assist you today?

Sheepish Annie: I'm calling to check on my phones? I miss having a phone. The smoke signals just aren't working out and I don't know Morse Code.

PL: Let's see...OK. I have the repair ticket right here. Noise on the line, right?

SA: Um, yeah. That's part of it. I honestly think the fact that my phones are independently calling 911 is more of an issue, but whatever gets the job done.

PL: Your phones are doing WHAT????

SA: You heard me.

PL: Well, you're on the list for sometime between now and 6:00 tonight. We'll get right on that!

SA: Bless you.

I called again today. From my cell phone. Which should give you some indication how things are going with my phones.

Other Phone Lady: And how may I assist you today?

Sheepish Annie: Phones. Not working. Now totally dead. So not cool.

OPL: Well, lets see here. I've got it. Static on the line right?

SA: Are you kidding me? Look. I don't want to tell you how to do your job but, if it were me, I'd put "phones dialing 911 without human assistance" at the top of that list. "Static on the line" doesn't lend the necessary air of urgency I'd like to see.

OPL: Your phones are doing WHAT???

It seems that the repair crews were unable to locate my home yesterday and that the number I left for a call-back wasn't recorded. I gave detailed directions to my home, was reassured that I would not need to be there for the repairs and hung up hoping that tomorrow will bring me a dial tone. I miss the outside world. And my cell phone is not working very well either. It's only a matter of time before I resort to carrier pigeons and I hear they are tough to maintain. I don't even know what to feed them.

Add to all this the beginnings of a nasty cold and I have lost my sense of humor. It's gone. As I said, it will return. Funny never goes far. When it wanders back, I will once again find joy in the things like flashlight beams dancing on the ceiling and whatnot.

Back when my funny bone was vibrating in time with the universe, I got a giggle out of people thinking the cats might have dialed 911 the other day. The very image of that is quite funny. However, the felines are innocent. There is only one phone they can reach and it was beside me in its cradle at the time of "the incident." Frankly, I would have preferred that it be a cat. That has less sinister overtones when compared to phones dialing for assistance independent of human hands.

No. The felines have other things to do. While I deal with such things as communication with the outside world, they remain locked in battle over the stupid box. I've tried to throw it away. They won't let me. They love this stupid box. They each hate that the other loves it equally. They do not care about the phones.

They just take turns staking out the box.

Yeah, that's right buddy. Just keep moving.

SA