Thursday, December 03, 2009

Humor Me

I lost my internet connection last night. After having gone nearly a week without working phones and being told repeatedly that "someone will be there to take a look by 6:00, ma'am," this was adding insult to injury.

Worse, I couldn't do the Wednesday Night Bullet Post!!!!!! If you would be so kind as to indulge me, I'd like to rectify that situation right now. Let the bullets fly!!!

*There was a "spirited" discussion with the phone company today.

*The aforementioned discussion was conducted from my office while I consulted with students on their math worksheets.

*Dunno who was more disgruntled by the end of it, the students, the phone lady or myself...

*Phones were working when I got home.

*As was the internet.

*I have become obsessed with the Cirque du Freak series.

*Burning through a book a night at this point.

*Starts off all light and breezy in a dark and draughty sort of way.

*Then gets unbelievably grim.

*Good stuff...

*I have what can best be described as a "situation" going on in my sinuses.

*I won't go into detail because that would be unseemly.

*Gave birth through my left nostril today.

*'Nuff said.

*No more fever, though.

*I'm going to finish a sock this weekend.

*That will make a pair and then I will post a picture.

*FO in the future.

*Stock up on your smelling salts and fainting couches.

*It was a lovely spring day today.

*65 degrees and sunny once the torrential rains stopped falling.

*This would be heavenly were it not for the fact that it is December 3rd and that it was too hot to go Christmas shopping.

*My sinuses were confused. Maybe they think they have allergies?

*Did I mention how the heat controls near my classroom broke?

*Stuck on "Surface Of The Sun" setting.

*The Kid Who Doesn't Have An Off Switch has been rather clingy of late.

*Can't function unless Ms. Sheep is within four feet.

*Makes it hard to teach the rest of the class.

*Scene in the office this afternoon:

Ms. Sheep: Hello, Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Front Desk! I would like to report that the heat is on upstairs and that The Kid Who Doesn't Have An Off Switch found this hunk of electronics in the hallway.

Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Front Desk: What the heck is that?

MS: The control to the heating system in the hall.

MSWSATFD: Why was it on the floor?

MS: Zombies would be my first guess. Next, I'd suggest that one of the kids ripped it out of the wall. Again.

Kid Who Doesn't Have An Off Switch: (exiting the office) I don't feel so good. I'm gonna go down and see the nurse...

MS: (mumbling) You sure the umbilical cord will reach that far?

MSWSATFD: (collapses on the front desk in uncontrollable laughter because she has seen Ms. Sheep wandering around with TKWDHAOS in tow for weeks now)

*The heat was fixed.

*Then the power went out.

*And all the alarms went off.

*And the police came.

*With firetrucks.

*Which entertained TKWDHAOS endlessly.

Phew! I feel better now! All those bullets were getting backed up in my system and I was feeling a bit bloat-y. Now they are free and the only pressure is coming from my sinus cavities. That is a relief. Now all I have to do is survive one more day of fun and adventure in the public school system and then I can be a weekender.

With working phones. And internet. And decongestants.



Julia G said...

Welcome back to civilization -- you seem to have become a magnet for police and emergency response personnel! It's unseasonably warm down here in southern New England as well -- nice, but weird. I can't help but wonder if a big snowy payback is just around the corner ...

trek said...

Oh, welcome back to the late twentieth century. "You believe it's the year 1999 when in fact it's closer to 2199. I can't tell you exactly what year it is because we honestly don't know. There's nothing I can say that will explain it for you," Sheepie. "Come with me. See for yourself."

Anonymous said...

I wondered if things were okay when there was not WNBP last night. I'm glad you have your internet back (and your phones)!

Heather said...

I'd suggest a humidifier, but your torrential rain would seem to be filling that need.

Jeanne said...

Giving birth through your nostrils.


(I sympathize, but I couldn't help the laughter!)

Donna Lee said...

I am having the same problem with the sinuses (a large vaccuum would be really good right about now). I am stuck with warm rags since decongestants are out. Unfortunately, I can't walk around work with a rag on my face. or one of those masks. That would go over really big. I think it's the weather changes. 66 degrees! In Dec! It's just wrong.

=Tamar said...

Living in a house that never gets above 64 in the winter even with the heat on full blast, I rather enjoy warm Decembers. But no email and no phone at the same time? I'd be joining the zombies marching on the perpetrators.

Cursing Mama said...

It must be a stretchy umbilical cord - unless you're bringing that kid home with you every day to entertain the kitties. Wait! I just figured out how you distracted the AGK long enough to knit 2 whole socks - its that kid isn't it???

Anonymous said...

I fear your phone demons have migrated to my house. We have to reboot the wireless router every time we use the phone for more than about 10 seconds. Since rebooting the router involves leaning across the the elevator shaft, it is Not.Fun.

PICAdrienne said...

I am so glad you are back among the communicating. I really missed the WNBP, and I am glad you got it out of your system.

As for temperatures, if you want to visit us, on the other coast, we can oblige with mid-20's (F) in the mornings. Just in case you would miss the students, my son is the right age group, and if he went to your school would probably grace your classroom for an hour each day. Additionally, we have 4 kitties, one of whom is an AGK, with polydactyl paws.

My verification word is snehab, is that something you need after giving birth through a nostril?

Beth said...

No Internet - ugh! I enjoyed the Thursday bullets even though I read them on Friday. I wonder why you're not showing up in my Bloglines updates?

Kath said...

I could use a little "Surface of the Sun" right now. But it only comes as a side on the main dish that is a room for full of middles school students, right? Maybe I could order that a la carte?