Wednesday, July 16, 2008

WNBP: The Green Edition

Boy, Wednesday sure can creep up on a girl!  Hard to believe we are already at the midweek point in the festivities...

But, there is no denying it and that means it is time for the weekly dose of Sheepie Randomness.  Let's see what today has brung unto me:

*A word of warning to anyone out there who happens to have an Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty living with them:  Even if you are very tired when you get home from Knit Night, if you fail to fill the food bowls before retiring for the evening, you do so at your peril.

*You might find yourself being awoken at 4:40 in the godforsaken AM by the melodic trills and chirps of your AGK.  

*The melodic part may sound kind of nice, but you should also know that this comes with a side of bouncing, pouncing and chasing the feet that are under the covers.

*Did I mention that he is absurdly gi-normous?  I feared for my very life.

*I tried to stay in bed.  But it became clear that this was not going to be an option.  I got up and dutifully filled the bowls.  I know my place.

*Since I was up, I thought I might try to knit a bit upon The Thing That Will Never Grow Up To Be A Sweater.  

*Well-fed Absurdly Gi-normous Kitties like yarn.  They like it a lot.  And they are very strong.  

*I had to turn on The Kitty Distractor.

I guess the pre-dawn hours make for nice sharing of toys.  

*Not surprisingly, that didn't last long.

*I have been trying to make a weekly trip to the Farmer's Market near my house.  It seems like a healthy thing to do and supporting the local farmers makes me feel superior.

*I don't like vegetables.  I get there and find that I have no earthly idea what to do with the produce.  

*Having a theme helps.  Today I told myself that we would be focusing on "Green."  

Peas are green.  Cucumbers are green.  Heavy cream is not so much with the green...

*But I had to buy it.  

*Now I realize that "had to" is maybe an exaggeration.  For that matter, it is also probably an exaggeration to say that I "had to" buy the Disney Ice Cream Maker that I found at the discount store which happens to be right by the Farmer's Market.  

*But once you are so firmly looped into the "had to" mode, it is kind of hard to find your way out of it.  

*I am hopeless in the face of discount-priced gadgets.  If there is anyone out there who specializes in the treatment of shop-a-holics with a penchant for gee-gaws, you might want to look me up.

*I'll probably put your kids through college.

*The AGK had a very full day today.  He decided to go back to his old hobby of trying to open the cupboards and his repeated efforts at getting into the ones with the rubber band holding them together was rather impressive.

*He timed this to coincide with my afternoon nap.

*BANG!!!  BANG!!! BANG!!!  (meow...meow...meow...)  BANG!!!!!!!!!!

*I got up.  I then tried to knit.

*He abandoned the cupboards for some nice yarn chewing.  Nothing would dissuade him.  Not The Distractor.  Not my forcefully removing him. Not my use of a firm tone and every other trick that I've been told will surely work.   Not my pleading.  Not nuthin'.  

*When I went into the kitchen to empty the dishwasher (where his water dish was waiting, thankyouverymuch) he chewed through the yarn.

*And had the gall to look surprised when I expressed displeasure.

*He is resting now.  It's been a big day.

Don't be fooled by the cuteness.  This is a very, very naughty cat.  

*Tonight I am making steamed peas for dinner and having sliced cukes with a dip made from a soft homemade cheese flavored with last week's garlic purchase and some herbs I growed all by my widdle self.

*That doesn't seem like enough to make up for the day with the AGK.

*I may need to make some Disney Ice Cream...

*In spite of it all, I will still give him his good-night snuggle and kiss on the head tonight before I go to bed.  I will still tell him that I love him and that it makes me happy that he came to live with us.

*I will also remember to fill the food bowls.

Happy Wednesday to all and to all a Green Day.  May your produce be fresh as all get-out and your yarn unsullied by cat spit.



Knitting Linguist said...

I'm laughing over here (sorry, I know that's not nice). He's got some remarkable timing, that AGK. As for the not-so-green cream, some food coloring'll take care of that right quick.

Anonymous said...

Do you like mint? Because a bit of mint flavoring and green food coloring will make that ice cream fit right into your green theme. Pistachio ice cream and green tea ice cream are also color-appropriate, as is vanilla with green food coloring.

Tell AGK that I think he has been a bad kitteh, what with the yarn chewing and all. Not that that will impress him, but still.

Mia said...

that veggie picture looks so healthy it's almost obscene ::laughing::

trek said...

No, cream is not really green. But mint ice cream is.
So is pistachio ice cream.
Not that I like either of those flavors in my ice cream dish.
Just sayin' you know.

Yarnhog said...

Sounds pretty much like life with a toddler. My sympathies.

Anne said...

You've got us laughing on both coasts. All I can say is, I hope my Dobby can't read your blog over my shoulder-- he gets up to enough mischief all on his own without trying to emulate the AGK. How's the big sister dealing with all the mayhem?

Beth said...

I'm kind of afraid for you. Maybe you should buy the AGK his own yarn.

EGunn said...

Two words: squirt bottle! It seems mean, but after using it a couple of times, cats learn fast that a psssht! sound means they need to stop /now/. And we really can't have yarn chewing, can we? (He is so cute, too...)

Mizzle said...

Cream is a dairy product, right?

And cows eat grass, right?

And grass is green...

So actually, cream is like *processed* green...


erasmus (aka jiva) said...

you needs a squirter. A spray bottle for spraying plants. Squirt it at big kitty. I have two boy cats and they always want to do what I am doing. Dang, one of them even tries to carry bras about the house. The other used to jump on the kitchen work top. After a rigourous training with spray watter he is much better behaved.

Cursing Mama said...

There are a lot of suggestions of squirt bottles here, but you're THE Sheepie & the problem is GINORMOUS so I'm giving some good assvice and suggesting you skip those silly little squirters and go with the big guns - something along the lines of the Super Soaker XXL..... or maybe a little bit of catnip tuna ice cream as a distraction; I hear you got a new ice cream maker.

Donna Lee said...

The super soaker worked like a charm here. It keeps the cats off the dining room table. And I love the virtuous feeling of shopping at the farmer's market. I wish I liked vegetables more. They are so pretty and healthy. I gravitate toward the breads and other carbs.....Enough of that and I will have my own gravity.

Ronni said...

Cream is the new green.

p.s. Everyone/thing is playing mind games with me this morning - I didn't get a verification "word" at first. Then when I did it looks like it should sound like Ginko Biloba. If only I could just retreat back to my bed for the rest of the day.

The Kelly Green Rogue said...

I <3 AGK LOL but I'm sorry about the yarn!

Leslie said...

Um, well, he is a very handsome kitty!

PICAdrienne said...

The cupboards, highly annoying, but amusing for others to read about on the blog. The foot attacking, ditto. Yarn abuse, not so amusing. Water is a powerful training device for many a kitteh. To be perfectly honest, I have my doubts in the case of the AGK.

knitseashore said...

AGK is red. This is what happens when you adopt a red or partially red cat. They own everything, including you!!

In the spirit of green, Tim will steal lettuce out of my salad when my back is turned. I must throw leaves at him as if to ward off the cat mafia, or he'll eat my lunch. Sigh.