Monday, July 28, 2008

A Clinking, Clacking, Tumbled Up Pile

OK.  Sweater people...tell me how you do it.  It's a freakin' mess and I don't know how you manage.  Plus it is getting crazy costly.  You all must be, like, millionaires or something...

It's not the actual knitting.  I seem to be managing that part.  As far as I can tell, the Blog Sweater Curse has yet to catch onto the fact that I am knitting stealthily away on The Thing That Will Never Grow Up To Be A Sweater.  It's probably off torturing some other hapless knit/blogger.  I assume that it will turn its most horrible gaze back my way any day now.  But, for the moment, things seem to be under control.

My problem is with all the needles.  When I started this thing, I was under the impression that I had oodles of size 6 needles.  I've inherited, purchased and somehow managed to magically acquire needles of varying types and sizes over the years so it was more than likely that I had needles which would fit the bill.  It turned out that I didn't.  In fact, I seem to have inherited, purchased and somehow managed to magically acquire more size 5's and 7's than any living human being on this planet will ever need.  But 6's?  Not sure what happened there...

And the few that I did have were not to my liking anyway.  So I got some more.  Then it seemed that I needed some dpns but the ones I had weren't long enough to suit me so I went out to get more of those, but they didn't have any that were long enough because it seems that my definition of "long enough" is just unreasonable in the world of knitting.  I purchased some straight needles thinking I could lop them off and make them into dpns, but then I realized that this was just crazy.  I wasn't going to do that, no matter what my intentions or how good they might be.  So I did some stuff using that two circular needles thing, but that required more circs and I figured, while I was at it, I should probably get a shorter version for the second sleeve since the whole dpn thing wasn't working out.  But that wasn't really short enough for me to be knitting the first part of the sleeve and, as the dpns weren't long enough, I had to go back to the two circs method.  This was unappealing but certainly doable as I now had something like three thousand size 6 circular needles.

And all the while, I keep purchasing more and more needles in the futile hope that things will finally start to make sense or that one set will be magically "right."  Each and every godforsaken piece of this Thing That Will Never Grow Up To Be A Sweater is hanging from one, sometimes two and often three versions of a size 6 needle and I am starting to think that I may have been going about this incorrectly.  The book didn't say anything about having to cash in savings bonds to keep up with the needle needs.  

I also think they might be multiplying in the dark of night.  The pile of size 6 needles just keeps getting bigger and bigger and the clicking and clanking while they bash against one another is starting to get to me a little bit.  Just a little.

(Insert maniacal laughter here)

Now that I think of it, this is exactly the sort of thing that a Blog Sweater Curse might do just to keep me guessing.  Yeah!  I'll bet that's it!  The Curse knew that I was making progress and decided to step up with some new form of torture!  Well, I'm here to tell you, Mr. Curse...that isn't gonna work!  Bah!  You think you're so smart...but I'm on to you!  You and your wily ways...I laugh in your face!  Ha!  Ha-ha!!!  People said I was crazy to defy a curse so strong as a Blog Sweater Curse.

Well, who's crazy now, Mr. Cursey-curse?  Who's crazy NOW?????????

Some say that the endless clinking, clacking and tangling of the ever-growing pile of needles is enough to drive a knitter mad after a while.  But I'm not seeing any evidence of that.  None whatsoever...

Well...there was that fleeting glimpse of the cats playing together with the Automated Kitty Toy this morning.  That was probably something of an hallucination.  These felines do not play together.  Ever. Otherwise, I fail to see any real difference in my mental status.  But, I'll keep an eye on things.  You know.  Just in case.




SA

18 comments:

PICAdrienne said...

All the needles is why you will have to knit something else on those size 6 needles. The more you use them, the more economical they become, yeah, thats it.

Is anyone believing this?

Jacqui said...

next you will find the interchangeable needle set (Options, Needlemaster etc) singing its siren song from the aisle end cap.

look AWAY! it will aid you not. it does nothing to simplify the needle nest and you need at least THREE of the sets to get any use from them.

[sob]

Leslie said...

I have a version of this curse--the needles are there, but the yarn I bought (recently!!) has gone on the lam. This is the third time lately that my yarn has disappeared and I suspect a curse or yarn gnomes or kitty games.

Yarnhog said...

It's time to learn to Magic Loop. Nothing magic about it, really. It takes about 30 seconds to learn, and does away with the need to use dpns. Ever. And you never need more than one circ. Oh, and if you do need more needles, KnitPicks Options (interchangeables) are an awesome choice. Just be sure to order some 40" cables for the magic looping...

Jeanne said...

I wish I could help with your sweater quandry. I myself am only a few inches into my second attempt at knitting my first sweater (from the same yarn but a different pattern).

As for the cats playing together, my guess is, they're practicing synchronized batting for when the decide to go after all those needles.

Karen said...

I wonder if there is some sort of needle terrorist plot. I bought a set of size 2 needles Friday because I wanted a size larger than the size 1s I normally use for socks. When I took the 2s out of the package, I compared them to the 1s and they seemed very similar and when I checked them on the needle gauge they are the same. What is up with that???
Good luck with TTTWNGUTBAS.

Ronni said...

It's one of the natural laws of the universe. You will never have the right size and length of any needle that you might need. If it seems for a moment like you do that is only because it will turn out to be in an already existing project.

kmkat said...

Two words: Magic Loop. Once I learned that technique (it took no more than the 30 seconds Yarnhog declared) I never looked back. I have even converted another knitblogger to it, and she thanked me profusely. Search for "magic loop" on YouTube or even google it; you'll love it.

Mia said...

glad you didn't try to make dpns by cutting off the end... that could have gotten ugly ::laughing::

I can't WAIT to see this sweater in all its finished glory!

Cursing Mama said...

Are you certain there aren't a whole stash of the perfect length DPN's hiding in the secret lair of a fluffy companion? I know thats where all my missing stuff has got to.

trek said...

My sweater has also been plaing with lots of circular needles. I am quite thankful for the KnitPicks Options set I acquired from a fellow blogger who couldn't use the metal needles.

I should probably blog about it soon.

And the cats? They are not playing together. They are engaging in parallel play and studiously ignoring each other's very existence.

Knitting Linguist said...

So *that's* where all the size 6 needles have gone! I was wondering... In case you need any size 5s, they appear to be breeding at my house.

Anne said...

Ok - wait. Parallel universes again. The two who NEVER spend time together are spending time together at my place as well. What is up with that?

As for the needles, well..... I have nothing to offer you. I own 2 pairs and I hardly ever knit with them. Ask me about 2s or 1s.

debsnm said...

I have more needles than I thought it was humanly possible to own (in some cases, they out-number the yarn stash), but I can never, ever find a size 6 needle when I need one! And it seems that absolutely *everything* this is not a sock requires a size 6 needle. But I'm on to them! I now know where they've gone - I'm sure they'll leave your house at any moment on their journey to drive us all insane.

knitseashore said...

Just pet the kitty...pet the kitty...breathe in...breathe out...after you throw the entire clump of needles over the nearest bridge. :)

Cursing Mama said...

Thought I should share the zombie information - planning spaces & such...

http://www.mamapop.com/mamapop/2008/07/i-can-has-zombi.html

Beth said...

How do the kitties play with that toy together? I can imagine them both going for the feather at the same time. That could get ugly.

Kath said...

Someone asked me today about moving from knitting accessories (hats, mitts, socks) to an actual garment like a sweater. Thank you for giving me yet another good excuse to put that off a while longer!