Saturday, July 12, 2008

Destruction/Distraction/Disturbing...

I guess it was wishful thinking on my part.  But you can't live on wishes.  "Hope" is all well and good when it works out...but sometimes it doesn't.  

I've lived for many years with nice girl kitties who had little interest in the yarn.  Sure, the Big, Fluffy Kitty has a bit of a hankering for straight needles, particularly those which are actively knitting, but that isn't such a big deal.  I work almost exclusively on circs or dpns anyway.  

Yup.  I had me quite the little Utopia goin' on around here.

And then I brought home Prometheus The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty.  He was pretty good about the yarn at first.  He had other stuff to do.  All the cupboards needed to be opened.  The curtains needed to be pulled down for inspection.  There was tuna fish to taste test for possible contaminates.  The females of the household needed to be kept safe from bugs both real and imaginary.  It's not like the poor boy didn't have a full agenda.

Eventually, though, he was going to find it.  That yarn wasn't going to escape his attention forever.  And, recently, it has become his one true passion.  He likes yarn that is in use.  He likes yarn that is just sitting innocently in a basket waiting to be knit.  He likes full skeins of yarn because they sometimes live in bags and he can free them for hugging.  Yarn is truly a beautiful thing if you are an AGK.

I, the knitter, am not quite so thrilled with this new hobby.  I like my yarn to be free of cat saliva and in one, continuous strand.  I'm funny that way, I suppose.  It was time to take action!!!

This called for the ultimate in Kitty Distraction Techniques.  I required something so tantalizing as to be impossible to resist and yet also something which could be entertaining without my direct involvement.  Knitting is hard when you are an active participant in the process of distraction.  I knew of only one possible thing which could help me in my hour of need:


Of course, this was going to be a bit of a challenge.  The AGK managed to break the thing within an hour of first discovering it.  But, I like to think of myself as a resourceful sort of Sheep.  I have stuff.  Lots of stuff.  There had to be something around here that I could use to resurrect the mighty Automated Kitty Toy...




And Sheepie said, "Lo, let there be duct tape...and it was good."


With the Kitty Distractor back in operation, at least in a limping manner, there was harmony once again at the manse.  Whenever the AGK got a little too invested in the yarn, all I had to do was pick him up, gently tease the strand of yarn from his tightly clenched jaws, avoid his mighty paw swipes as he tried to regain that which he so loves and deposit him in front of The Distractor.  One push of a button and I've got me a kitty who will play himself into exhaustion while I knit happily away.  

I felt powerful and in control of my household.  I am the best parent ever!  I should write a book...

But there has recently been something of a disturbing development.  I am beginning to wonder if I might have underestimated the degree to which I rule this particular roost.  Yesterday, while I knit placidly and hardly swearing at all on The Thing That Will Probably Never Grow Up To Be A Sweater, I heard a sound.  I hear sounds all the time, but this one struck me as odd.  Familiar...but not something I should be hearing.  And, from the corner of my eye, I caught this:

An orange blur...

Well...I guess that's not so unusual.  I did, after all, set the thing near the fan.  That little feather must have fluttered slightly in the breeze and caused my handsome boy to bat at it a bit.  But wait...that feather is moving!  It is moving in a circular pattern!  It is whipping about for the AGK's entertainment which means that the "on" button was pushed!!!!  And, oh dear merciful heaven...

 It was not I what pushed that button.  


He turned it on all by himself.


If you don't hear from me, send help.  There is every reason to believe I have lost my fragile handle on the situation here...

SA

18 comments:

trek said...

We here at chez trek are very much impressed the AGK and his technological skills!

Truly a 21 century cat.

Mel said...

As long as he can entertain himself and keep away from the yarn, this is a good thing. I have found that blowing in their faces when they try to eat the yarn helps to turn them off of the practice. Unless they're really determined, of course.

Julie said...

I'd suggest that you put that kitty toy away where he can't find it before going to bed tonight. You may also want to lock up anything he could use to punish you for hiding said toy.

Yarnhog said...

I have a dog who can pull open drawers and open closed doors by way of the doorknob and push open screen doors that are latched and even open sliding doors that aren't locked...

You are in serious trouble.

Ruth said...

Oh, dear.

Alwen said...

Uh oh. Better check your cell phone records and see if he's started calling catsmum's kitties yet.

Karen said...

Very smart kitty. Watch out. He is steps away from using the phone and/or internet. Quick change your passwords while he's napping:)

kmkat said...

I am not above flicking my kitty sharply on the nose if he becomes too enamored of the yarn that keeps moving past that nose. Sometimes it works, sometimes I have to throw him off my lap. So far, he forgives me and comes back to the lap the next day.

As for AGK, all I can say it, keep the TV remote away from those little paws.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, frightening. When he grows an opposable thumb you're screwed!

Sheila Z

April said...

My friend's cockatiel had sex with my Lorna's Laces Shpeherd's Worsted last night. I think that's all I'll say about that.

catsmum said...

ah Alwen? it's too late ...I think he called collect ... either that or my lot called him
... and Sheepie m'dear? you do know that you jinxed yourself a couple of weeks ago by commenting about the AGK in relation to Suki pulling that beret off my dpns so you have only yourself to blame!! you DO know that, don't you? LOL

Mia said...

It's gonna be an interesting summer *grin*

Donna Lee said...

Why did you ever think you were in charge? BFK only let you live in that fantasy world because it fit her purposes (and what human can ever devine a cat's purposes?). AGK isn't even going to give you the fantasy. He knows who rules and wants you to know it too.

Ronni said...

That's a smart cat! That's a dangerous combination.

Jeanne said...

Purrhaps, since AGK is so enamored of the yarn, he should be gifted with his very own skein to hug. What we resist, persists...

Scary that he figured out how to push the button himself. Now if you could direct that talent and teach him to operate the can opener.

The Kelly Green Rogue said...

oh my gosh! I am so impressed with AGK! pretty soon he'll be driving you to work and dropping you off so he can have the car all day to do what he likes! LOL

Beth said...

I love the picture of the BFK watching the AGK. First of all, she looks so small compared to him. Part of it may be that she looks smaller because she's in the background, but I see why he's nicknamed the AGK! And secondly, I think it's funny how she's watching him. What's she thinking?

Anne said...

Better start saving for college. That's obviously one smart (albeit big!) boy. Maybe he can get a catball scholarship or something.....