Monday, June 09, 2008

There Is A Thesis Of Some Sort In This...

There is much to be learned from the study of people.  Especially when you throw them together in an adverse situation, prevent them from escaping and then proceed to make the conditions even less favorable.  You will see all kinds of cool stuff.  

Today, for example, was very hot.  I knew it was going to be very hot.  I also knew that I was going to be trapped in a second floor classroom without air conditioning and that there would be any number of smaller people stuck in there with me.  I went into the situation fully understanding that every other adult in the building would be operating under the same circumstances.  I have a Master's Degree in counseling.  I felt that I was more than able to deal with whatever might come my way in terms of human behavior.

I was not.

This social experiment from the very bowels of Hell resulted in a variety of outcomes.  There was my frantic and pathetic bellow for assistance with my grades which would not show up on the final version of the report cards no matter what I did.  When the Head Tech. Dude responded to my call, manfully dragging himself through the heat and humidity in order that my needs might be met, he logged on to find the grades all neatly posted.  Rather than have to say he'd made the trip in vain, he tweaked one of the 5th grade report cards for me to make that one a little easier.  That was nice of him.  

He would not, however, add more students to the roster of the teacher who was mean to me that time.  I thought it would be funny.  He thought this might upset her.  I tried to explain to him that this was kind of the point, but he would only look at me rather sadly.  He took his leave shortly after I pointed out to him that either one of us could outrun this particular colleague, even in these less than ideal atmospheric conditions.  I don't think he'll be offering to help me again...

Then there was the stand-off between a student and me over the need to finish his math worksheet.  I happened to feel that doing a page of calculator math was quite reasonable.  He was not of the same mindset.  This battle of wills is surely going to be taught in Teacher School for decades to come.  It was impressive.  I like to think I was the winner, but it really is a "perspective" kind of thing.  I may have actually lost...who knows anymore?

By day's end, the classroom had reached temperatures similar to that of various Amazonian rain forests and the sound of condensation could be heard dripping from the walls.  I swear to you I caught a glimpse of some kind of jungle cat just behind the file cabinet and no one is going to convince me that I didn't trip over a ten foot, man-eating snake as I was picking up that math paper that didn't get done from the floor.  By then, I'd reached the point where I was getting ready to challenge a colleague to a duel over some snappish comment she'd made and I knew that this little experiment was not going well.  

Not well at all.  

It is the last full week of school and I do not believe that we are meant to survive it.  Tomorrow is scheduled to be even hotter and the air will continue to boast more water content than oxygen.  I can only hope that a good night's rest will help us to put things back in perspective.

I am going to deal with matters in a  grown-up and highly evolved manner.  I shall take a nice, cool bath, break out the spinning wheel and set up a few fans to blow my cares away.  These are the soothing sorts of activities which will ease my frazzled mind and perhaps cool my cooked brain cells.

I may also resort to ice cream.  These are desperate times and mean spirited anthropologists lurk around every corner, just waiting for a good social experiment to document.

SA

16 comments:

Mel said...

Yes, I think ice cream is a must.

And are you sure it was a jungle cat and not a zombie?

Melissa said...

ice cream is the only possible thing to eat in this weather. I'm on my way to the store to get some for dinner...

Kath said...

Definitely time for ice cream, any flavor that includes chocolate! (Or peanut butter, 'cause then you get a little protein in with the dairy!)

Julie said...

Yes, ice cream sounds like the perfect medicine. Wait; didn't you say you made some brownies yesterday? Ice cream on a brownie sounds even better!

sophanne said...

Well now you can rest assured that your air conditioning won't go out with a few hundred parents on the bleachers in the gym. You're actually getting good training. I am so feeling for you today.

Beth said...

Hang in there, friend! I agree with the others - break out the ice cream.

=Tamar said...

Try the principal on the idea of the mint julep bar in the teacher's lounge. He might go for it.

Knitting Linguist said...

Did someone call for an anthropologist? I'm ready to document, especially if you fork some of that ice cream my way...

Alwen said...

Eat that ice cream now.

You never know when the power is going to go out.

(Good heavens, my verification word is excud!)

catsmum said...

Sophie, Oakley and Missie want reassurance that the BFK is coping with the heat. Oakley in particular was most concerned - being of the bfk persuasion himself.
The goats weren't concerned at all but send their love :]

Mia said...

That was a great post.. I can almost picture it. I can vaguely remember way back when I was in grade school waiting for the last day....

I don't know how you do it.. but I'll pray you have extra strength as you walk thru your jungle today, and maybe a stray breeze wouldn't hurt either!

Lorraine said...

I don't know how we managed to miss all that heat. My garden is so far behind now that I'll probably start harvesting the tomatoes in October.

I'd ask you to shove some of that heat our way but that would be going against the jet stream.

Donna Lee said...

They are closing schools early all over the place here in NJ and in Phila. All the older schools have no a/c and I understand some of the new schools actually do. Imagine that. Schools with air conditioners in some place other than the principal's office! Only one more day and then the stranglehold of heat is supposed to break.

trek said...

I like to think I was the winner, but it really is a "perspective" kind of thing. I may have actually lost...who knows anymore?

I think the real question is, "Who cares anymore?"

Try to cool off tonight.

Yarnhog said...

Take popsicles. You can use them as bribes and they will cool off the kids' brains. (A cooler of Otter Pops only costs a few bucks.)

Ronni said...

Oooh otter pops is a good idea. Of course by now you are half way through your day. I hope it is going better and that the ice cream - spinning - fan combination helped restore your equanimity. Only a few more days right?