Therapy Bullets

Another mid-week moment is upon us and it is time for a Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  24 hours in shorthand...I do love the day I can be all over the map. Especially when my mind needs to recover just a little bit. Here we go:

*My internet went out last night. Apparently this occurred shortly after I put up yesterday's post. Timing is everything, I suppose.

*It wasn't a problem, really. I was going out anyway. I decided to go visit The Yarn Sellar and join Noolie and Patti for a Chicks With Sticks knitting night.

*It's good to knit someplace other than the couch every once in a while.

*My Big, Fluffy Kitty really likes Greenies. She loves them a great deal. She now annoys me every time I go into the kitchen, hoping that I will succumb to her cute face and endless bleating and just give her a treat. This can get annoying, but is really good when you need to bribe the kitty into allowing you to go out for the evening.

*When a group of women get together, it is generally pretty likely that at least some of them will be mothers. These Givers Of Life need to get out every now and again. You can't blame them really. It is also pretty likely that you will hear conversations like this when you join a group of them for a knitting night:

Giver Of Life: I can't even let my older son use the other bathroom because his little brother likes to flush his toys and sometimes they don't go down. On the next flush, I have to clean everything up.

Sheepish Annie: I think I may just stop by the hospital on the way home and see about getting a hysterectomy...

*The lady next to me (who I don't really know but who almost had to fend off my inappropriate advances because she has those new, cool Harmony Needles from Knitpicks and I really wanted to pet them) thought that was pretty funny.

*I may not have children, but I know the direction in which these conversations will tend to travel. Noolie and Patti did a rather magnificent job of fleeing the scene to go finalize a yarn-buying transaction. I was not fast enough...

*And, predictably, the conversation turned to all things delivery-related. The Giver Of Life moved on to a description of her journey to the hospital in order that she might give birth to one of these children who would later create such plumbing issues. I didn't really understand most of it, but there did seem to be a rather inordinate use of words like, "crowning," and "sac." I think there was some water involved as well, but I can't really be sure.

*There was this weird buzzing sound in my head and I wasn't breathing all that well.

*Everyone else seemed pretty jazzed about this conversation and all had their own contributions to make as certified Givers Of Life.

*My input consisted of the following:

Maybe I should call ahead. You know. Just to make sure that the hospital has a room available in the Hysterectomy Department...

*The Lady With The Harmony Needles Who Honestly Had No Idea Just How Close I Was To Stealing Them really seemed to like that one.

*By now, things had spiraled completely out of control and we were fully enmeshed in Baby War Stories. The Giver Of Life began describing how she had to explain (in what I can only assume was a less than patient tone at that point) to her husband that she would need a wheelchair once they arrived at the hospital. Or, as she put it, "I can't walk! I've got your kid's head hangin' outta me!!!!!"

*My response: OK. I don't even care if they have an anesthesiologist on call tonight. I'll just bite down on a leather belt or something...

*Harmony Needle Lady, who struck me as being really a rather classy sort of woman, actually made a snorting sound.

*Then things kind of went just a little bit grey. I remember something about the use of some horrifically invasive sort of procedure that involved the manipulation of metallic objects and which was geared towards forcibly removing a baby from a human body...but I can't be sure. All I remember clearly was announcing that I'd like an epidural and the Harmony Needle Lady kind of doubling over.

*The next clear impression I had was of Patti's kindly hand on my shoulder and her asking me if I'd been able to contribute to this conversation in any way.

*The Harmony Needle Lady said I did pretty well...

*It seems that trauma to one's delicate and non-childbearing psyche is rather good for knitting, though.

You can knit, like, a whole sock cuff! It's like you go into a self-protective knitting bubble...

*I still had to stop on the way home and buy an unhealthy amount of half-priced Valentine's Day Candy.

For medicinal purposes only.

*It helped.

*Look, I knit a sock!

Different one from last night, though.  That's still in the knitting bag while I recover from its unpleasant associations.

*I had something of a candy hangover today so it's not like I could be a social butterfly or anything. This left me with a great deal of knitting time.

*And seclusion is good for Childbirth Induced Trauma recovery.

*Knit Night is not for the faint of heart. You gotta be tough to go knit in a group. It's like a gang initiation or something.

Happy Wednesday, everyone. And to all you Givers Of Life out there, as much as I don't care for the group sharing, I gotta say I'm impressed. You're like warriors!!!

SA