Thursday, February 14, 2008

Really?

I found a little something on my door this morning.  'Twas a note, to be more specific.  I have decided that it is a Valli-time.  It is not.  But this is what I am going with.  Because I laugh in the face of those who try to make me crazy when they are mere rank amateurs, no matter what they may think of their skills.

Yesterday's storm required that the plow-guys stop their little game of Cat 'n Mouse with our condo complex and actually wander by to scrape up a little of the white stuff.  To leave these storm deposits sitting in the parking areas would be too obvious.  In order to continue maintaining an air of caring, they had to come.  But, they played their bad hands quite masterfully.  I'll give 'em that.

Not long ago, the other residents and I received rather terse notes on our doors admonishing us for failing to move our cars so that the plows could come through.  So great was our shame that none of us dared to point out the random nature of the plowing and we all scampered to move our vehicles a week in advance of any approaching weather.  We were rewarded with a second round of notes praising our good behavior.  It stopped just short of offering us treats as a reinforcer, much like one would do for an obedient pooch.  

And I'm ashamed to admit that even I fell for that one.  I strutted just a bit, flaunting my good parking ways and gave thought to posting the note on the fridge for all to see.  Maybe even putting a gold star at the top, just for effect...

Yesterday's snow day, while a bit more ferocious than I'd thought it was going to be, was pleasant enough.  I wasn't one of the tens of thousands who lost their power.  I had Mountain Dew aplenty.  I knit.  I spun.  I watched movies.  I never once had to leave the warmth of hearth and home.  And all this was made possible by my having been a good resident and following the rules of the Parking Powers.  

Then I got my Valli-time.

Apparently the plow-guys, bored to tears and with nothing about which to complain, informed the management company that all those cars parked in the roadways were a hinderance.  They couldn't get their plows through without having to navigate all around them.  They asked that we stop moving our cars.  How were they to maintain their high level of service and attention to detail with all those pesky hunks of metal lying about?

So, the management company did the following:

1.  Asked us to continue moving our cars

and

2.  Asked us to stop moving our cars.


This is interesting.  And just a little bit confusing.  It might imply that the plows are going to be coming more regularly.  It might imply that they are never coming again.  It might imply that they expect us to levitate our vehicles.  I like to think that I have a pretty good command of the English language and that I can use my intuition to glean what the subtext might be in most situations.

But this one has me stumped.  This is not a good Valli-time.  Not a good one at all.  It didn't even have one of those conversation heart candies stuck to it.  I don't like those hearts.  But it would have been a nice gesture.  The giver of this Valli-time does not know how to celebrate this holiday very well.  It wasn't even on red paper...

Still, I have to laugh at the attempt made at driving me crazy.  I've had better thrown at me.  Just ask my truck.  It has decided to turn the battery light on again in the hope that I will take it in to the garage for a fifth time and have them test it so they can tell me there is nothing wrong with it and then ask me for money.  That's a good effort.  Or how about the time I got pneumonia on my birthday?  Karma at its best, I tellya!  Then there are the three million sweaters that haven't come to fruition because I can't knit sweaters anymore now that I am under a Blog Sweater Curse.  Classic!

Asking me to move my car while simultaneously not moving my car?  Not bad.  Just not the best, is all.  Keep trying.

Happy Day Before The Big Candy Sale, everyone!  This weekend, we get to nosh on the shattered hopes and dreams of late-shopping husbands and boyfriends from all across this land!  See you at the discount table...

SA

21 comments:

Mel said...

Clearly they are a "special needs" management company.

Happy VD to you!

Knitting Linguist said...

My goodness. Levitating cars, eh? Hmmm... Maybe if you feed all that extra sugar from the sales to the cars, they'll levitate all on their own?

Mouse said...

Oooh... yes I will be joining you at the "50% off shattered dreams" table for some deep discount candy come tomorrow morning.

kmkat said...

Yessireebob, that management company needs a little... managing, I'd say. Manage them right into a remedial logic class. Idjits.

Beth said...

It took me almost the whole post until I realized what a "Valli-time" is. Then I Googled just for the heck of it and your post is at the top of the list. :) Happy Valli-time's Day!

mehitabel said...

Okay, that would make me crazy too. I think I'd probably call their office and ask them which of the dueling directives you need to observe.
Hmmm... sale candy. Must remember that tomorrow morning!

Karen said...

You didn't tell Hysterical Mind about the notes right? I'm sure she'd think someone was trying to Gaslight you all.

Julie said...

I'm going to have to agree with Mel on this one!

trek said...

I bet zombies can levitate automobiles.

Cursing Mama said...

Obviously you're supposed to devise a hoist system for the truck. Jeeze.

sweetpea said...

All that snow is deranging their brains.

TheAmpuT said...

I think a couple of posts ago you actually DID give yourself the equivalent of a gold star LOL.
I think maybe the plow guys are starting to get a little case of redrum-JackNicholas-TheShining.

Kris said...

hmmm - I've had some confusing directives from The Powers That Be before, but honestly, that takes the cake.

BTW - keep your hands off the oversize chocolate heart. It is mine, all mine.

Ronni said...

I'd be tempted to write back and ask exactly how many counties over they want us to move our cars and what times are they planning on running the shuttle buses. But then I am an known troublemaker.

Jeanne said...

I'd probably write and tell them I'd be happy to/not happy to move/not move my car/not car to whereever they decided/did not decide it should/should not go/not go.

Then let THEM figure (not figure) it out.

Uh-oh... the feds are on to me. My verification word is "usfbi".

Donna Lee said...

I'm glad you are keeping up with the zombie training. We are watching everyone netflix has to offer. Some zombies are slow and stupid but those viral ones are very fast. Good thing you are also keeping up with the exercise. You never want to be the slowest person around when the zombies are coming.

Leigh said...

Duh. Sometimes you just can't win.

Yarnhog said...

That is a head scratcher. My brother recently got pulled over for going 60 miles an hour on the freeway. The cop told him he was going too slow. When my brother asked what the minimum speed was, the cop told him 45. The maximum speed was 65. But somehow, traveling 60 was not okay. Maybe the same people made the rules for your parking lot.

Sheila said...

Hope you're on the couch with a Mountain Dew in one hand and a choclate heart in the other!
Oh, and that Bullet Proof baby sweater is fantastic!! Good work...it makes me wish I could crochet more than a simple border on my knitting.

The Kelly Green Rogue said...

oh my! You are much calmer than I would be.

Jeanne said...

Sheepie,

YOU MAKE MY DAY.