Breaking News

I fully expect the ASPCA, PETA and some random dude in a poncho who just likes the excitement generated by a protest even if he doesn't really know what all the shouting is about to show up at my door any minute now.  There will probably also be any number of news agencies involved so keep an eye on the papers and television.  You'll see me.  The headlines will read:

Sheep Mean To Monkey.  Primate Supporters Gather In Protest. 

You can't really blame the animal rights people.  They are fully justified in their concern.  As one who is highly committed to the ethical treatment of our furry friends, I probably would be joining them if I wasn't so busy being the target of their outrage.

Anyone reading the daily adventures of The Sheep last summer will, perhaps, remember the Monkey Sock debacle.  The pattern had just come out in Knitty and all the cool kids were knittin' 'em.  I just wanted to be a part of the "in" crowd.  I was swept up in the excitement of it all and just had to make a Monkey.  

It didn't go well.  Not well at all.

This had nothing to do with the pattern.  It was purely my own inability to follow the directions.  I'm not sure just what the problem was...but I couldn't get the rhythm of it.  I ripped and ripped again, then let it go.  No Monkeys for Sheepie.

Fast forward a few months, and here I am back in Monkey Land.  I had this yarn that kept calling to me.  It was so soft and pretty...it desperately wanted me to knit with it this week.  And it really, really, really wanted to be Monkeys.  I tried to reason with it.  I explained how I couldn't seem to get the hang of this pattern.  I pleaded with it to consider being something else and extolled the virtues of the plain, functional, stockinette sock that has served me so well over the years.  But, the yarn would not be moved.  It wanted to be Monkey Socks.  And so I cast on.

Things have gone better this time.  Markedly better, if you want the truth.  There have even been times where I was able to knit merrily on without even referring to the pattern.  And, my goodness gracious, don't these things knit up fast!  But there have been one or two issues, mostly due to my missing yarnovers.  These mind wandering moments have resulted in many hours lost to painstaking tinking.  And some not-very-nice language for a Sheep of my standing in the community.

However, I thought that this would be behind me once I finished the first sock.  I like to think that I learn from my mistakes.  Besides, even with a massive error that lead to the loss of an entire repeat's worth of knitting, I still managed to finish the first one in two and a half days.  With this important piece of self-actualization behind me, I figured I could knit the second in mere hours, if not minutes.

So...I just finished tinking back a row or two on sock the second.  The cursing and name-calling was even worse this time around as I was now convinced of my super-hero status.  I felt betrayed.  I was really only angry at myself...but I took it out on the Monkey.  I know I hurt the Monkey's feelings.  I could tell by the way the yarn sort of slithered out of the loops and forced me to chase it down row after row in order to rescue the dropped stitch.  I suppose I deserved that.  It wasn't really fair to blame the Monkey.  The Monkey didn't really do anything wrong.  I'm pretty sure I heard it yelling, "Hey, Stupid!  Don't forget that yarnover!!!" at one point.  But, I was watching Charmed reruns and just told it to shush.  I regret that.

Everything is fine now, though.  Knitting according to the stated pattern has resumed and all seems to be well.  I've even apologized profusely to the Monkey in the hopes it will forgive me and let bygones be bygones.  This will surely go a long way towards helping my case with the animal rights advocates who are, no doubt, beating a path to my door even as we speak.  I just hope that they can hear my protestations of innocence over all the chanting and sign waving...

Meanwhile, I shall continue to look to sock the first as inspiration.  I can, in fact, knit these socks.  I now have proof.  It's just a matter of staying the course, keeping the eyes on the prize and thinking happy thoughts.  For anyone who had difficulty viewing the sock pictures last night during the blog hiccup, here it is again:

See?  That's my foot.  That's my carpet.  That's my Monkey.  Proof positive!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go see to my Monkey.  I'm going to speak to it soothingly and maybe offer it a banana or two.  A Sheep needs to keep her Monkey happy.

Once all those protesters get here, I'm going to need all the support I can get...

SA