Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Well, If You Are Really That Impressed...

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Wednesday Night Bullet Post to bring you this important information:

People, please! Settle! A little decorum, if you will. I realize that my taunting you with descriptions of my new "themed" crock pot was nothing short of cruel. But, this was not my intention! You must believe me!

Last night I went a-knittin' with Noolie and Mel. We had much to discuss, including creative lawn watering techniques (you don't want to know...) and the progression of media coverage in the event of an actual zombie invasion. These are important matters and topics that must be covered in their entirety. The hour, she grew late. Sheepie ain't the party girl she used to was. Sheepie is a middle-aged gal who gets all tuckered out after dark and who just didn't have it in her to get the pictures up last night. But, honestly...would I ever let you down? Would I miss an opportunity to share the glory that is the NASCAR crock pot?

Of course not. Rest your agitated nerves, gentle readers. I'm there for you in your time of blog boredom. Here you go:






Frontal View. Please note that the temperature setting dial is a speedometer. That is a really "authentic" touch, there.

From The Rear. Do not adjust your monitors. These are the pictures from the "way back" and are, in fact, black 'n white.

Sadly, there was no possibility of photographing these while in the store. They come in a plain brown wrapper. No. I am not kidding. Do you want the NASCAR -watching, crock pot-cooking public to just go mad with desire in the middle of the discount store, for heaven's sake????

Yup. I gots me a Dale Earnhardt discount crock pot. I will soon be dyeing more of the merino fleece from the depths of this fine piece of Americana. My life has taken some strange turns along the way. Quite a few, really. But this represents a hard left, a few hills and one or two dubious rest stops.
But wait! There's more!!
Despite the fact that I had to go into school today, move furniture (including a small refrigerator down a flight of stairs), answer the question, "so how was your summer?" 8 million times without referencing the new crock pot, and deal with my rather late application for the renewal of my teaching certificate, I kept you all foremost in my thoughts. I was feeling so very guilty for not sharing a photo of the new crock pot. It was just eating me alive. Piece by muttony piece... So, my dears, I took time out of my busy day to do a little research. I have learned that you, too, can have a NASCAR crock pot for your very own. You'll have to pay a bit more than I and, sadly, there did not appear to be a Dale Earnhardt amongst the bunch. But, I did my best. If you go to Amazon.com, you will find these super-classy pots for crocking. For a little preview of the Jeff Gordon model, just go here.
I hope this makes us Even-Steven and that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for my fatigue induced blogging transgression. We are rapidly approaching the end of my Knitting With Noolie Nights since the school year is soon to be upon us. I will be more vigilant with regard to my photographs from that moment on.
Pinky Swear!!!
Edited to add the following at 11:21 pm:
We have further examined the crock pot and determined that it does, indeed, feature Richard Petty rather than the aforementioned Dale Earnhardt. My apologies to NASCAR fans everywhere. Please do not hurt me. In my defense, the box said it was Dale Earnhardt. This only serves to make the whole situation more humorous in my opinion and, as you know, I pretty much live for this kind of stuff.
You may now return to your regular, non-tacky-crock-pot lives.
SA

24 comments:

A. Priscilla said...

I think Mommy and Daddy Sheep should have one of those NASCAR crockpots. Maybe a little early Christmas shopping?

Auntie Sheep

Bobbi said...

LOL. the sacrifices we make in the name of fiber.

Mouse said...

I think the brown wrapping is for later.. back in your kitchen.. to cover the gawd-awful thing back up when you've come to your senses.

Emma said...

Ahahaha, that thing is hilarious. And kind of sad. Although, if there was a crockpot with photos of sock yarn all around it? I would totally buy one. Maybe two.

Kate said...

That's Richard Petty. And the only reason i know that is my Hubbo is a NASCAR fan (egads) and also he did the voice of "The King" in the Cars movie...

...so anyway... yeah that's Richard Petty.

catsmum said...

Oh...my...goodness...gracious

Ronni said...

I really didn't think the NASCAR crock pot story could get better and funnier. I should have known you wouldn't let me down.

If I didn't already have a 6 quart crockpot for dyeing purposes I'd have to run right out and buy me a Jeff Gordon to see if I could get a Dale Earnhardt.

B said...

ROFL! Wow. I didn't know the made such crock pots! But I will sleep better now that I know ;-)

Anonymous said...

Look at that and I thought it was a figment of your imagination. Now I'm really starting to worry about that zombie stuff...
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Anonymous said...

Your aunt is a crazy old woman. DS

Julie said...

I just don't know what to say; that crockpot is, er, um, certainly not your ordinary, everyday crockpot.

Annie said...

Want. One. Now.
Never seen a crock-pot (or slow-cooker, as we Brits call 'em) with anything other than flowers as decoration.
Am v. jealous.

Cathy said...

I am still rolling over here. Only you would find this...

Jeanne said...

Now there's a market I'll bet Gene Simmons (KISS) hasn't thought to tap into yet... KISS Crockpots. I like it.

This is just too darned funny.

Lazuli said...

Ow, my eyes!! I missed the lead-up to this one. Taht's a serious bit of Americana right there indeed! Maybe you could make a felted NASCAR-hiding crock-pot cozy?

debsnm said...

Oh, me Gawd!! That is just too funny! You suppose I could find a "Legends of Golf" crock pot????

Cursing Mama said...

ummm- thats a mighty nice crockpot you got there. I really don't think you should speak of it too loudly in the presence of the standard issue 40+ confirmed bachelor types - they find this kind of thing in a woman very hard to resist. And I don't think this is the kind of man you should be bringing home to the big fluffy kitty ;)

However if the hot mechanic......

Kris said...

OMG - I haven't stopped laughing. Truely a piece of americana at it's finest.

Rabbitch said...

I am actually weak with envy over your crockpot. weak, I tell you.

And envious, too.

missemilysmom said...

I love the crock pot!! Even though it is not Earnhardt!

Eric & Tony said...

I'm always down for a bargain but wowzer that's one ugly croc-pot -- though quite hilarious. I guess if it's stored away when not in use . . . or maybe if you knit it a cute cozie?

Sheila said...

I thought Elvis was The King, no?
This post made me laugh out loud...it's a good thing the rest of the fam is alseep. Sorry, but that crock pot is BFUgly. I mean, it gives your condo character, yeah...thats it.

Denise said...

There's just something inherently funny about dyeing wool & yarn in a NASCAR crockpot. I'm not sure why - it just cracks me up. I kind of see them used for something more along the lines of home moonshine brewing or such...

I'm sure it will add a certain ambience to the kitchen counter.

I really like Jeanne's idea for some Gene Simmons KISS crockpots!

Rani said...

Oh my goodness, my sides hurt from laughing! You just made my Nascar day! HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!