Sunday, August 05, 2007

Weighty Matters

Oliver, my tragically decapitated teddy bear, sends his thanks for all the kind thoughts and wishes for a speedy recovery. The patient is resting comfortably after brief surgery last night, performed once I realized that I am simply incapable of sleeping without my teddy. A more extensive procedure is planned for a later date.

My lawyers assure me that the pending malpractice suit has no merit and will be summarily dismissed as this was life-saving surgery and no promises were made to the bear regarding aesthetics. I'm sure that, once he has been gifted with a new, jaunty bow to wear round his neck, the sutures will be nicely hidden. And it's not like he was ever going to be "cover bear" material, for heaven's sake.

With that matter tended to, I managed to finish spinning up the first bobbin of superwash merino sock yarn and the second is begun. That project is well on its way to being finished before the summer vacation draws to a close. No need to concern myself on that front. Which is good. Because I have a little something else that has been tap-tap-tapping at my brain and I probably need to put some thought into how I'm going to deal with it. Or even if I need to deal with it. I'm not sure...

But, I think my cat may be fat.

There. I said it. I've been wondering about it. Pondering it. Considering the feline from all angles and trying to determine if I have allowed her to expand beyond the space that a cat was meant to occupy. I'm just not sure. Now, I know what you're thinking:

Ummmm...she's your cat. You are looking at her. You've mentioned that you lug her around all day. We know that scales are banned from your home and that you can't weigh her, but isn't a fat cat something that is rather obvious? Doesn't the fact that you are questioning her current girth give you some indication that she is bigger than she should be?

All valid points. But, there are a few other factors at work here. First, there is the whole, "she's my baby and perfect in mine eyes" thing. One can't underestimate the power of denial when assessing a cat's fattitude. She is also rather short of body. Thus, even when she is svelte, she tends to have a rounder appearance than other kitties. Then there's the coat. Or should I say, "coats." She is, at the very least, double-coated. I strongly suspect that there are actually somewhere around 47 layers of coat surrounding her frame, but that could be an estimate that is a bit on the higher end of things. Either way, she has always looked bigger than she be. Many is the time that people (her vet included) have almost launched her over their shoulders as they were braced to pick up a much larger beast.

My Big, Fluffy Kitty is a walking optical illusion. An enigma... But, I still think that she might be a porky enigma.

My former vet told me on several occasions that one should be able to feel a cat's ribs clearly. I dug around in that fluffy, gelatinous mess for a while and came to the conclusion that my cat has no bones whatsoever. This, upon further reflection, seems somewhat far-fetched, though.

So, I decided to get highly scientific about this. I attempted to find a common object for comparison, something that many readers could look at and use for scale. This was a bit tricky as the object needed to be somewhat universal, but inconspicuous enough that the Big, Fluffy Kitty wouldn't want to eat it. While I realize that the use of US currency sort of limits those who live in other countries, it was really the best choice given what I had on hand. So, I used a dollar bill. That would be about 15.5 centimeters in length. So tell me...






Does this bill make my cat look fat?
If you're not sure, I'd be happy to put other stuff on or around my cat for comparison as time permits. I'm pretty sure that she has no idea what's going on back there. Forty-seven coats...she can't even feel it.
I am currently putting together some sort of Old Cat Aerobics program just to be on the safe side. I'm thinking that we could do it as part of our mother/daughter time.
The BFK is not the only one around here who may be a bit bigger than she used to was...
SA

18 comments:

Julie said...

I certainly know at least one other cat who could use some Old Cat Aerobics; he even looks like BFK, only much bigger I'm sure.

Sheila said...

Cats have a way of spreading out when they sit, so it is hard to say, really. The boneless thing, though, makes me think there might maybe sort of perhaps be a bit more insulation than is needed?
Forget teaching her to turn the carder's handle...maybe treadling on your wheel would be the thing to teach her.

trek said...

Well, you do call her the Big, Fluffy Kitty. She's a bit fluffy.

Teri S. said...

Methinks the dollar bill does make the BFK look fat. Therefore, you should cease and desist placing dollar bills on her bum. Besides, she enjoys her food, so why deny her? Do you deny yourself black and white cookies? Of which I found a local source, by the way. Oh my...

catsmum said...

Oakley thinks she looks mighty fine [ but then he's a BFK too ]

Beth said...

For comparison, I put a dollar on my dog. All I could tell is that the BFK is fluffier than my pug. :) Thanks for the laugh!

kmkat said...

OMG, you have kidnapped my Hannibal! He too is a black BFK, albeit very solid under all that fluff. Wait, let me go check for his ribs...

Okay, I'm back. There are definitely bones under there, but could have your vet clarify exactly what s/he means by "clearly? Does that mean each individual rib? 'Cuz if it does Hannibal and the food dish are gonna have to come to a parting of the ways.

Leigh said...

This is hilarious. Being the owner of an "overweight" cat (according to the Vet, not to Himself) I immediately went to see if I could feel any ribs. Well, they're there, but only if I massage hard enough to get my hand nipped.

Rascal said...

Dear BFK,

Don't believe a word of it. You are not fat. You may be big boned. You may be fluffy. The camera may have added extra pounds. But you are not fat. Only humans are obsessed with fat. Cats are always just right.

Your friend,
Rascal

Mel said...

Do you really want me to launch into all the reasons it's better for a cat to be svelter? And when you say "former vet", I assume that there is a current one, yes?

Mia said...

You're supposed to be able to feel their RIBS? Rut ro. You might not have the only fat kitty in blogville... but I prefer to look at my little princess as just being fluffy. Heavy fluff. But fluffy. *grin* Hey.. can I help it if she eats the dogs food too????

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the kitty aerobics. It's hard to say about chubbiness in a photo of a cat. I think if you are concerned there *may* be a problem. Maybe cut back on the kitty treats a little.
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Lorraine said...

Whew, I'd hate to be in your shoes if you start to restrict calories. If I recall correctly, BFK is also a bit of a princess/diva with an alpha cat complex where food is concerned.

For my kitties, the fishing lure types of toys are great fun and the bonus is I get to sit on my "fluffy arse" while exercising them.

DeanB said...

Hi there, I followed a link from Cursing Mama, saw the "southern Maine", read some more and found the Casco Days pix. My wife & I are from away but we spend most weekends at our place in Casco.

Bobbi said...

well is she getting fatter? Or is she maintaining the weight she's at? One of my dogs is slightly over weight and the vet always tells me that, the thing is he's not getting any fatter, and he's not excessively overweight, just like a pound. My response is - look at me? does it look like I have success with diets? why would you think I'd be able to make my adorable, fluffy puppy follow one? then we got to the park for a week, then it rains or gets too hot and we forget to go.

April said...

Sheepie, I'm sure you're aware that California is simply overrun with spas. I suggest you send BFK to me and I'll get her checked into one ASAP. Maybe the Golden Cat Door.

Don't worry, I'll take good care of her!

Jeanne said...

Cats have ribs?!? This is news to me. (Read: I think my cats are fat, too. And I was worried that I was starving them somehow.)

mehitabel said...

Hi-Hi thinks the BFK looks just fine. But then, Hi-Hi has met his cousin Miss Kitty, aka Miss Piggy. She is so fat she falls over backwards trying to wash her tummy, and she needs steps to get up to her window seat. Padua, on the other hand, eats like there's no tomorrow and has hip bones like Kate Moss. Simon keeps thin by wrestling with Hi-Hi, who outweighs him by a great deal. Sigh.