The Wheels On The Bus Go 'Round And 'Round

I'm tired of talking about my truck. I'll just condense it. I'm still driving the rental. I stood outside the Maine State Capital this morning, hiding from the fifth graders and shivering in the snow, talking to the nice lady at the Dealership Car Fixy Place. Any day that the words "valve," "exploded," and "never actually seen this before" are uttered is going to be memorable. Apparently, they are so transfixed by this never-before-seen phenomenon that they have forgotten my explicit direction to just shoot the stupid thing. They are running some sort of a teaching hospital over there, it seems.

Like I said...I'm tired of talking about it. It is a pain in my Sheepie hindquarters and my wallet.

Why don't we talk about field trips instead?

Remember when you were a kid and you got to go on a field trip? That was a big day. You packed a special lunch, some fun games for the ride and you even got to eat on the bus. Bus drivers only let you do that on field trips. Chances are, you don't even remember the "edu-macational" part of the trip. But the bus ride, being able to use those cool public bathrooms and trading packaged snack cakes with your buds? That was memorable!

I am an adult. And then some... As an adult, I have been going on field trips at least once per year (and then some) for nigh on twenty years now. And, I have to say, that much of the joy has been sucked out of those memories for me. I now look back on them and wonder if my giddy behavior gave any of my teachers the same level of headache as I have now. And if they would appreciate knowing how tuckered out I am after each one.

Today, I was privileged to escort a gajillion or so fifth graders to our great state capital for some real-life learnin' on such subjects as "Why it is OK for State Representatives to yell while debating on the floor" and "How The Gift Shop Does Not Factor Into The Educational Experience." I assisted a group on their tour of the museum and the required "scavenger hunt" for information while wearily settling squabbles over which route to take through the exhibits and helping the parent chaperons deal with their more "active" charges. I debated with several students over how best to deal with the rotting banana we found under the bus seat in front of us (we opted to pretend we didn't see it) and defended my decision to stay single when the girls learned that I had never been saddled with wedded bliss.

I learned that letting the kiddies "see" your cool pink cell phone on the ride home when they have run out of things to do and are resorting to tickle fights results in some really weird pictures on the camera.

I learned that fifth graders have a better sense of time and place than I thought and that telling them "we are almost there" when we are nowhere near "there" fools no one.

I learned that the best way to shut down a smug fellow teacher who passed you on the way home yesterday at the speed of sound and who wants to chuckle over your slow motoring is to tell him that you were driving your broken truck with failing brakes. That'll shut him up. And if you happen to point out that you rented a car and came to school only because you thought you were going to be needed on this field trip, so much the better.

I also learned how to load and fire a flintlock musket. That is probably not good information for me to have right now. But, there it is...

But, best of all, I learned that you can make great progress on a sock when you have a two hour bus ride with which to contend and a real need to pretend that you are very, very busy. I was able to finish the gusset and knock out quite a bit of the foot on today's trip. I was also pleased to note that I was not the only knitter. The little girl sitting behind me used pencils to knit about eight miles of i-cord. Why she needs eight miles of i-cord, I know not. But it was nice to have a little of the sisterhood going on during my trial by school bus.

And there you have it. More of the same with a field trip thrown in. Tomorrow night is Bullet Post night and, though I have no reason to believe that I will make it to class and be in need of simpler blogging genres, I'll probably toss one your way anyway.

Exploding valves and lengthy field trips make for a love of the bullet points...

SA