It Was A Bullseye

"Karma One Calling Karma Two, come in K2. Do you read me?"

"Roger, Karma One. I read you loud and clear."

"K2, do you have the target in sight?"

"That's affirmative, K1. Target sighted and coming into range."

"Confirm location, K2. Is the target approaching the Kennebunk exit from the Maine Turnpike? Is this the same location where she experienced a total vehicular breakdown on two separate occasions?"

"Affirmative, Karma One. The target is within range of the designated coordinates."

"Then we're a 'go.' Ready the flaming meteor."

"Um...well, about that."

"Is there some sort of a problem, Karma Two?"

"There are no meteors, flaming or otherwise, in the vicinity. I looked. We won't be able to drop that particular item today."

"That is fine, Karma Two. That possibility was taken into account. We will move to plan B and send down the large piece that broke off the space station."

"Funny thing, there. I requisitioned it, but email was down over the weekend and the tech. guys were on a Trust Retreat in the mountains somewhere. The large piece of the space station never made it."

"What????? Karma Two, this is unacceptable!"

"Hey, it's not like we're Fate, or anything. We're Karma!!! What do you think, we can just pull stuff like that out of the sky?"

"Well, yes. As a matter of fact I do think that is supposed to be within our skill set. Meanwhile, we have a target approaching the designated drop site and nothing to drop! We need to abort!!!"

"Calm down. I've got it under control."

"Nice work, K2! I knew I could count on you. Now, tell me. What've you got? Frozen astronaut poop? A three piece luggage set dislodged from a passing airliner? Killer seagulls?"

"Well...no. It's a pebble."

(There is a clattering sound followed by loud thumps as Karma One rips off his headset and bangs his head on the console in frustration. After a fashion, he replaces his set and resumes transmission.)

"A pebble. You are telling me that you have a pebble."

"Well, it was the best I could do. You try finding flingable stuff on short notice! I figured if I threw it really hard..."

"I have my doubts, here."

"Work with me! She's had almost a full cup of coffee. I figure I can maybe get a decent startle reflex out of her with some good results at this point!"

"Fine, fine. We'll just work with what we have. Proceed with the pebble flinging when ready."

"Pebble ready, sir. Preparing to drop in 3...2...1. And....we have contact! It's a direct hit, sir!!! Right in the middle of the windshield!!! Success!!"

"And do we have a visual reaction from the target, Karma Two?"

"Well, sir. She's...laughing. Really hard. It's sort of chilling, if you want the truth."

"Not exactly what we were hoping for. But I think we need to take what we can get at this point. Write up the report and fax it to me at Karma Headquarters. Karma One, over and out"

"Roger, Karma One. This is Karma Two signing off."



There was a time when a dead hit to my windshield from what may or may not have been a pebble would have been cause for great distress. I might have gazed upon the large chip in my window glass with utter dismay and cursed the heavens for their having turned their loving gaze away from this poor, little Sheepie. I would have been unable to imaging anything worse.

That was before the Great Auto Repair Escapade of '07. I have a new perspective on just how bad things can get from a vehicular standpoint. This is just amusing.

Meanwhile, the school principal has suggested that I simply go back to bed and stay there for the next few years. The custodian, who recently had emergency surgery to remove his exploding appendix, has informed me that he thinks it best if I not stand too close to him. He is afraid that he might incur real misfortune if he is in my vicinity. My special ed. director, who lives fairly close to me, would like me to simply stay off the road this weekend for his family's safety.

But, it's just a chip in the glass. And that's nuthin'! "Twas good for a chuckle at Karma's expense because they really didn't have their game-faces on today and should have just let me go to work un-pebbled. I'm unimpressed.

(note to Karma: This is not to be interpreted as a challenge. Merely an observation. Stop taking everything so darned personally!)

And with my life returning to it's regularly scheduled stupidity, I am ready to face the rest of the week. It is kind of nice when the other shoe actually drops. I'm spending the evening working on my homework for class, thinking about doing the taxes and knitting on a sock. Status quo, here in Sheepland!

Oh, and looking for the name of a good glass guy. I should probably add that to the to-do list...

SA