WNBP: Responsible Life Choices

If it were not Wednesday, I would not be blogging tonight.  I would be sitting on the sofa, staring into space and trying to figure out how it is humanly possible for me to still be awake.  I would also possibly be setting up a website offering the use of my classroom to parents who would like their offspring to understand the importance of responsible dating behavior.

One day with my students and your kid would immediately scamper off to the nearest nunnery.  At least if it was a day like today...

But it is Wednesday and I get to do the Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  That one is easy.  I am hoping that some diligent blogging will keep me from spending any further time considering that new website.  In the long run, I don't really think it will be such a great idea.  There aren't that many nunneries, after all.

Here's your bullet points for this week!


*I do not wish to tell cute stories about the students today.


*There are no cute stories.


*Well...maybe a couple.  But I can't really focus on those now because the horrific behaviors they exhibited for the rest of the time overshadowed anything even remotely cute.


*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant finally went online to check the current phase of the moon and we are now bracing ourselves for further drama.


*Seems like the responsible thing to do under the circumstances.


*I finished a couple more knitted type thingies.


*Still can't prove it, though.  Super secret gift knitting.  There are security levels involved.


*Most of you are at the appropriate clearance level.


*Some of you are not.


*That is just the way it is, I'm afraid.  The system has to have rules or everything just falls apart.


*I am proud of me for the finishing of things.  I understand if you want to reserve your congratulatory back pats until I can show something more concrete.


*Is there anyone out there who has a suggestion for how to explain to the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty that donuts are bad for him?


*I didn't even remember that I had one donut left in the bag on the counter.


*Until I heard the thud and rustle of a plastic donut bag being dragged to the kitchen floor.


*I rescued the donut.  The cat looked chagrined.


*Chocolate donuts are bad for cats.  I'm pretty sure of this.


*They are also bad for me, but I am a responsible adult and can make choices for myself.


*I think I should eat the donut before he goes for it again.


*Reduce the temptation factor...


*Election day is right around the corner.  I am a registered voter, but not affiliated with either of the two major political parties.


*Hence, I am considered a "wild card," and I get a lot of phone calls.  


*One guy called me twice tonight.  


*I feel very popular right now...


*I vote regularly because that is what good citizens do.  


*I am not certain that answering five million phone calls was in any of the literature I got when I first registered to vote, though...


*I don't really remember if I got any "literature."  I probably didn't.  But I'm certain I studied this kind of thing in high school when they made us all take civics classes.


*Nothing about phone calls.  I'm sure of it.


*I am currently re-reading Lisey's Story: A Novel by Stephen King.


*Not his most smoothly written piece, but I've always loved the way he portrays the "secret" language of long time married couples in this book.  


*Almost poetic, really.  Except for the parts where people die horribly and whatnot.  


*I like those parts, too.  They just aren't quite so much with the poetry, is all...


*I can't read while I am answering phone calls like a responsible voter.


*Or recovering from a day spent with grumpy middle school students.


*Or thinking about donuts.


I am now looking down at the area around my feet and seeing four eyeballs looking back at me.  They are not on my feet, rather they belong to a pair of hungry felines.  I am guessing that the Greek chorus of meowing will soon begin and that signals the start of feeding time.  The fact that the AGK just tried to eat donuts is also something of a sign, I suppose.  Either way, I should be heading off to feed my brood like a responsible mother.  I happen to be the kind who doesn't have "real" children because she has spent enough time teaching other people's kids to know better.

Happy Mid-Week Everyone!

SA

Very Complicated Distractions

It's tragic, really.  Here I am knitting up a storm, in possession of an honest-to-god knitting blog and I can't show any of it!  It's the curse of the gift knitting, I suppose.  But now I'm at a loss.  How do I distract the masses until I can prove that I actually knit things?  Hmmm...

I know!  I'll show the Very Complicated Kitty!  He's always a big hit and it's been a while since I've updated folks on how the newest fur baby is doing.  It's brilliant!!!

On Hero Worship:

The VCK was on his second shelter stay by the time I found him.  He'd managed to find a family a year earlier, but it didn't work out.  It's hard to imagine.  He's a great cat.  I just couldn't fathom it.  But, I think I might know why now.  Of course there were the obvious problems which likely included some urinating hither and yon due to an extreme case of struvite crystals.  More than that, though, I believe that the VCK is not the kind of cat who liked the solitary life.

He yearned for a brother.

He adores the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty.  He has since the moment he laid eyes upon him.  As I write this, the two of them are happily wrestling  and knocking over small pieces of furniture.  It's all good.  Except for the fact that the VCK tends to follow his big brother around and copy whatever he sees.  This can lead to some issues.  Toys are snagged.  Treats are confiscated.

Favorite chairs are commandeered.

It generally all works out, though.  Da Boyz are buddies and they are more than willing to share.  Mostly.

On Health, Hygiene And General Well Being:

When he landed at the manse, the VCK weighed in at a whopping 17 pounds.  That, in case you were wondering, is rather heavy for a siamese.  His tummy barely cleared the floor and swayed gently when he walked.  It was both comical and sad...

However, after a traumatic summer spent transitioning everyone over to a no-carb diet, I am pleased to report that the lad has slimmed down markedly.  He plays, he runs, he frolics and his belly jiggles far less than it used to.

The best news is that he is now able to attend to the cleaning of his...um...well...you know.  His...Perpetual Pucker Point.  You know what I mean.  Don't make me say it.  He couldn't reach his backside for a long time and it was yucky.  Now it is not.

Clean as a whistle from this end!!!!

I imagine this is sort of what it's like when baby is finally out of diapers...


On The Mighty Wind (it's not what you think):

The first time I heard it was at the vet's office.  It was our first visit and I am certain that the VCK wasn't happy about this situation.  We were left alone for great lengths of time due to an emergency in the other exam room and the wait was lengthy.  We were both tense.  At last, the VCK gave me a look of resignation and settled on the table.  He did so with a huge, huffy sigh.

I was utterly charmed.  I thought it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen a cat do.  Sighing?  In a huffy kind of way?  ADORABLE!!!

This was taken after the sigh. But you can probably still sense the mood.

And this would be the VCK resolutely refusing to look at me.  Also indicative of his mood...

After a few months of listening to that sigh, I am less charmed.  In fact, I think he is maybe a little judgmental.  I hear that sigh a lot.  I hear it any time things aren't going quite the way he thinks things should be going.  He speaks volumes with that sigh.  The VCK could take gold in Olympic Sighing.

However, it is far preferable to the times he chooses to tell me about his thoughts.  Siamese are chatty.  They like to orate.  It makes me miss the mighty sigh.


On Better Living Through Pharmaceuticals:

The VCK is still taking his morning happy pills, but doing so with less drama.  In order to ensure that he got all the anti-anxiety medication required to maintain his jolly mood, the vet suggested I make a meatball, mix his crushed pill in it and have him eat that before getting the rest of his food.  The trick was making sure he finished it before his big brother swooped in for a taste.

I had to spoon feed it to him.  I began to wonder where my life took such a wrong turn that this was my lot.

Thankfully, he has decided to eat his Morning Meatball Of Mellow like a normal cat now.  This is good because I was starting to think maybe I should be partaking of his medications.  It was reaching the point where I was probably going to have to quit my job and become a full time nurse to the VCK!  Or at least go in later once the medicating was through.


And In Conclusion:

The Very Complicated Kitty is a job and a half.  He needs prescription food, daily medication to ensure that he remains stress free and he wants to talk about his feelings more than any male should.  But he's healthy, he's happy and even when he steals the good napping spot, is the apple of his big brother's eye.  Everything goes well with the new baby.

We can all rest easy now.

(Betchya even forgot all about the lack of knitting pix!)

SA

Center Stage

The Boy For Whom All The World's A Stage had a birthday on Friday.  Being as the Cheerful Teaching Assistant and I are masters at learning the truth, we were able to glean this information early.  All we had to do was pay attention to the countdown announcements broadcast to the entire classroom on a daily basis for the last three weeks.  It was really a simple matter of deduction.

As the day drew nigh, TBFWATWAS grew more and more excited.  His energy levels rose exponentially.  By Thursday, he was in high gear and experiencing rampant mood swings.  We'd discussed getting a cake for him because that seemed like the thing to do under the circumstances.  As a result, all education stopped in order that he might make lists of cake preferences.  He also used the class white board to demonstrate the proper way to make a Jell-o cake.  The CTA and I made the mistake of laughing.

Before we knew it, we were being informed that he did not want a cake from the likes of us.  We were not fit to bake for him, nor were we the sort of folk he would allow to enter a bakery on his behalf.  He turned his back on us in utter disdain.  I looked tiredly at the CTA and said softly, "But I want cake..."

TBFWATWAS whirled around with his hands clutched over his heart and beamed at us.  His eyes shone and he cried out:

OMIGOD, SO DO I!  I WANT IT SO BAD! IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT! I LOVE CAKE...LOVE IT!!!!

He said all this in one breath and now stood gasping before us, still clutching his confection-loving heart.  What else could we do?  Cake it was.

The day did not go as well as we'd hoped.  The bowling trip we'd planned was suddenly cancelled without warning and the class was bitterly disappointed.  The CTA and I scrambled to find other activities to reward the good behavior everyone showed during the course of the week.  The rains poured down, preventing outside fun and no one could agree on what movie to watch.  Bitter arguments broke out and there were numerous references to everyone's mother.

From my standpoint, things were going about as well as we could expect.  I never get planning periods and probably shouldn't have believed that the kids would be out of the room for a few hours and happily bowling so I could finish the testing paperwork.  My playing referee and defending mothers I don't even know whilst getting further and further behind in my filing is par for the course.

However, the regular "It Is My Birthday And You All Have To Do What I Want" announcements were a new twist to the whole Friday schedule.  I suppose it's nice to have things shaken up every now and again...

By 11:00, we'd finally managed to get things settled down and most of the kids were watching a movie.  TBFWATWAS was pacing and staring out the window a lot, but we were pretty much used to his manic birthday ways by then.  He was just a background noise waiting for cake at that point.

I knit a sock.  The CTA broke out her new knitting loom and worked on a hat.  Nothing got done and I defy anyone to say one thing about it.  I'll fight you to the death over it, if it comes to that.  Birthday Angst is draining.  Even if it isn't yours.

We had cake after lunch.  It was good, but not as good as we'd been lead to believe it would be.  Somehow, that cake had been blown up into something of epic proportions over the last few days.  I honestly don't know how I managed to get caught up in the Birthday Hype.  But I did...

When the day was done and the little darlings were gathering their things to leave, the CTA and I exchanged a weary look.  I don't think either of us was really fully conscious by then.  But I think I heard her say something like, "Well...at least on Monday we won't have to hear the birthday countdown anymore, right?"

I was happy for a few seconds.  And then I had a dreadful thought.  If you are The Boy For Whom All The World's A Stage, are you really the type to exit stage left?  I think not.  I think that sort of boy might want to stick around for an encore or two.

Which means that Monday, he will probably start the birthday countdown again.  And it will be almost a whole year before it is over...

SA

WNBP: Now With Peanut Butter And 56% Less Hacking!

I have done very well with my calendar skills this week.  Even though we had a long weekend, I have still managed to figure out the exact day every day since returning to school and that, my friends, is an amazing feat.  I don't always do very well with that under the best of circumstances.  Frankly, I credit my stupid cold finally loosening its iron grip enough for me to function like a real human being.

Since I'm so totally on top of things here, let's see if we can't knock out a Wednesday Night Bullet Post?  I might even remember half of the things that happened to me today.

*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant didn't like the school lunch today.  So she went out for a sandwich.


*She brought me back a gi-normous peanut butter cup.  


*We have a thing for peanut butter cups...


*I have been knitting lots and lots lately.


*Motivation.  I haz it.  Finally!  It's a knitting blog, after all.


*Ironically, I cannot show anything I've knat.  


*The season of giving is almost upon me and everything is of the "stealth" variety.


*I'll toss up a bunch of stuff later for your viewing enjoyment.


*Here's a kitty picture.  That should tide you over.

Looks like a turtle, but it's really a cat...

*We are having a bit of a Dollar Store Kat Kave Krisis over here.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty loooooves his Dollar Store Kat Kave.


*Turns out the Very Complicated Kitty likes them, too.


*He used to be scared of all the toys, but he takes medicine that makes him happy and now he loves all the toys.


*And steals all the toys.


*I had to put out another DSKK because the AGK looked so sad when he couldn't have his most favoritest thing.


*Maybe he needs the happy medicine...


*I had a meeting at the high school today.

*Had to go see if I could offer some sage words of wisdom that might help out with a freshman who isn't making the transition very well.


*That is an understatement.  It is going very, very badly.


*Had him in my class for three years.  I try to get away, but they just keep pulling me back in.


*It was a depressing meeting.  I think I maybe have issues with "letting go."

*Which is not helped by the fact that they keep pulling me in.


*Before I left to go to the meeting, The Boy For Whom All The World Is A Stage called me back to the classroom:

Ms. Sheep:  What?!  I'm late, for crying out loud!

BFWATWIAS: Do you have everything you need?  Did you bring a pen and something to write on?  Do you have notes for this meeting?  If you have notes, they should be in your bag.  How about water?  You've been coughing a lot so I think you should bring some water.

MS:  Um...yes.  I have all that.  I think...wait.  Yes!  I have all of that stuff.  Except the notes.  I don't need those.  I am really just going to listen and look wise.  I don't think I need notes for that.

BFWATWIAS:  Wear your glasses like this.  (pushes his own glasses down to the end of his nose)  That always makes you look smarter.

MS:  (mimicking his glasses maneuver)  I kind of can't see very well like this.  But I do feel smarter...

*My life is now being managed by an 8th grade boy with an overly developed need for attention.


*I was late to the meeting, but I looked wicked smart!


*Depressing meeting.  Very depressing.  I was all mushy and squishy and just the teeniest bit teary on the drive back to my own school.


*Not too bad...just a little bit girly over the whole thing.


*Which is why the Cheerful Teaching Assistant bought me a gi-normous peanut butter cup for lunch.


*My cold is much better.  Hardly coughing at all now.


*I credit the peanut butter cup.  


*Stopped at the school library today.  I hadn't eaten the peanut butter cup yet and was feeling needy.


*Picked up a copy of Poison Study.  Just started it, but am finding it engrossing.


*Bit intense for the average middle school reader, I think.  But good reading for kids (and adults) with a solid background in YA literature.  


*Not as good as a peanut butter cup, but still a nice thing to have around the house.  

We're gonna call this a wrap now.  I've reached the point where all I can think about is peanut butter cups and that never ends well.  Best for all concerned that I move on with my evening.  Maybe eat an apple or something, you know?  Meanwhile, I'll wish you all a pleasant Wednesday evening and my wish that you have all the chocolate treats you desire.  Or books.  Or Dollar Store Kat Kaves.

Whatever floats your boat...

SA

Subtle Signs

I pretty much hacked, wheezed and moaned my way through last week.  The cold that gripped me the weekend prior managed to morph its way out of my head and into my chest.  Truth be told, I sounded worse than I felt by then, but that isn't saying I felt like tap dancing at any given moment.

We had a half day teacher's workshop day on Friday and I took the opportunity to step out and pick up some lunch before tackling the assigned paperwork.  That's a rare little treat and I like to indulge myself when I can.  (Lunch wrapped by the hands of another, not the paperwork part...)  As I was heading out, I happened to see Mr. Assistant Principal.  We have not spoken once this week, but that didn't stop him from commenting:

Good gravy, Ms. Sheep!  You've been coughing all over us all week!

That was probably the first sign that I needed a long weekend.  When colleagues who have not set eyes upon you for five days but who can still hear you coughing from a full floor away start saying stuff, you kind of can't help but think.  The second sign came at the grocery store that afternoon.

I was standing in the produce section, blearily staring at the available greenery and really only conscious of the fact that I probably could use a fruit or a vegetable of some kind.  I finally registered that a conversation was happening not three feet from me.  The woman carrying on the bulk of the chatter sounded remarkably happy.

Well, I must say...since I left teaching, I feel so PRESENT!  I mean, you know how it is.  It's seven straight hours of focusing on the students and then another few hours of doing the paperwork.  You can't ever seem to do anything for YOURSELF!  Even during the summer, you spend the whole time trying to get everything done before you have to go back in September.  Now, I'm so much more RELAXED!  Why, just the other day I woke up and said to myself, "I'm going to the fair today!"  And I had a second cup of coffee before doing just that.  I swear to you, I feel ten years younger!  I've never felt BETTER!!


It is to my credit that I did not pick up a bag of mixed salad greens and just beat her about the head and shoulders right there in front of God and the tomatoes.  It is not to my credit that I even thought about it, though.  Or that the only thing really stopping me was my utter exhaustion.  This, I realized, was another thing that might indicate my need for a long weekend.

It is also a sign that I looked forward to working on the Situationally Necessary Octagonal Replacement Thingie (SNORT).  That little project has been the bane of my knitting existence for a month now.  It's not that it's hard.  It's just kind of boring, and, in shades of light orange, perhaps edging just a little too close to pink for the intended recipient.  Sometimes looking at it makes me wonder if I should just scrap the whole thing, but I'm in way too deep now.  You can't do five million rows of stockinette and then decide that little boys should probably conform to society's thoughts on color scheme.  You have to ignore that voice in the back of your head, right?  But it's a very loud voice and sometimes makes knitting this thing even harder.

Not so, this weekend.  I positively glowed at the thought of sitting and slogging through row after row of mindless, peachy stockinette.  It sounded like the most delightful thing a person could ever do in this life.  Now, I ask you.  Is that a sign or what???

The final sign came yesterday when, after a two hour nap, I found myself overwhelmed with the desire to send out engraved announcements.  Surely, the entire world would be as delighted as I over the amazing perfection of this nap.  Never before in the history of Saturday afternoons has two hours been better spent!  Let the universe ring with songs of praise for this most divine of blessings!!!

Yeah.  I think it was time for a three day weekend.  Thankfully, the government agreed with me on this matter and Monday is a day off.  I plan to make an early morning run to the pet store for much needed cat food and then it's right back home where I can nurse my cough-sore stomach muscles and bask in the steam of warm beverages.  Perhaps I'll even see if I can repeat my off-the-charts-amazing napping feat.  It's all good and extremely well timed.

I just hope I don't run into that retired teacher at the pet store.  After all that napping, my energy is back up a bit and I can't make any promises should I see her near the canned cat food...

SA

WNBP: Because It's Not Thursday.

(The Boy Who Is) Dark And Disturbed spent most of today trying to convince me that it was Thursday.  No matter what I said or how many pieces of evidence I produced, he just couldn't seem to accept the actual date.  It got to the point where I felt like I was doing deep and permanent psychological damage to the poor lad.  He may be Dark And Disturbed, but he is also one of the funniest and basically kindest people I know so it seemed wrong to tamper with his overall nature.  I let it go.

But that doesn't mean I don't know it is Wednesday.  I'm going to do a Wednesday Night Bullet Post and D&D can just sit at home thinking he's closing in on the weekend.  It's up to his Mommy and Daddy now. Maybe if they let him spend more time online like good ol' Ms. Sheep instead of pursuing his artwork then he'd have a better grasp of time!

*It rained today.


*Let me rephrase that: The skies opened up and all the water ever created in this universe was whipped by the mighty winds for the sole purpose of making my life miserable.


*Other people are just saying that it rained, but I like to put a more personal spin on the whole situation.


*I'm still hacking and coughing all over the place.


*Everyone is so very pleased when I walk into a room.  They just light up at the sight of me.  


*That is not true.  Most of them flee.  The rest cower from a distance and try to give me supportive and encouraging looks from behind their bio hazard masks.


*We are also doing a massive round of state achievement testing this week so you can only imagine how much fun this whole day was...


*Spunky Girl has talked The Cheerful Teaching Assistant into teaching her how to quilt.  


*For what it's worth, Spunky Girl can now sew a straighter seam than I can.  She learned it in thirty seconds.  


*I don't want to talk about it...


*This looks awfully cute:

*He should be tired.  He and his brother managed to do a fair bit of "redecorating" while I was teaching the masses today.


*Low pressure systems...why must they create such havoc with the pets and the children?????


*The kids have a half day on Friday, the teachers have workshops and then it is a long weekend.


*I will be home coughing and knitting and ignoring the rest of the world for a few days.  


*Mr. Fix-It  (the 6th grader who has a knack for both breaking and repairing things) returned from lunch today looking rather exhausted.  He flopped into the one "comfy" chair in the room and heaved a mighty sigh.


*Then he said, "It's not easy being me today and I need a minute here."


*I felt badly about laughing (and coughing) but I hardly think it's my fault.


*Sometimes the little metal, spikey things you use to hold punched pages together are called "brads."


*Which is why it was funny when The Boy Who Thinks All The World's A Stage announced that he was going down to the office to get some "Angelinas."


*You either get it or you don't.  I died.  Literally died with the laughing. (and coughing...)


*I am re-reading some old favorites lately.


*The Hellfire Club by Peter Straub.  Forgot how deep and dark and utterly delightful that one was...


*American Gods: A Novel  by Neil Gaiman.  Beautiful...one of the few perfect books out there.


*I may visit my Favorite School Librarian before the weekend, though.  She ordered some new titles over the summer just because she thought I might like them.


*Yeah, yeah...she probably ordered some books for the actual children as well.  Don't panic.  They are all taken care of.  


*I like having the school library right next to my classroom.  It's so very handy.  And free.  And teachers can keep books for a very, very, very long time.


*But I don't because that isn't fair to the children for whom the library exists.


*Except for the books that are ordered just for me.  They are special.  


*But don't tell the children.  


*They can't be trusted.  Some of them actually think it is Thursday...


Well, that's it for me.  I need to go see about some of nighttime cough medicine.  I like that stuff.  I still cough, but I chuckle while I'm doing it.  I hope that your Wednesday was pleasant and that, wherever you are, the weather is dry.  Or, at the very least, everyone is on the same page date-wise.

SA

Besting The Worrier? Priceless!!

After a weekend of miserable, booger-filled illness, I was not really ready to face Monday morning.  The fact that I would be spending that Monday in Safety Procedures training and having to do things like "pay attention," "demonstrate errorless crisis management techniques" and "pass the written exam" did nothing to make me feel any better.  Frankly, the only reason I got checked off on some of the competencies was because no one wanted me to demonstrate a physical restraint technique on them.  I was clearly a plague carrier.  It was easier to just pass me.

Oh, and did I mention that one cannot knit at these trainings?  It says so right in the handout.  You have to look like you are paying attention at all times.  Sheesh...

Things began looking up when I got home, though.  And not just because I knew there was a big bottle of Nighttime Cold Medicine waiting for me, either.  It was what I found in the mailbox that caused me to perk in an upward direction.  There were two delightful documents sitting there, just waiting for me to be well enough to make a stop at the mailbox!  I giggled at the very sight of them because I knew that I would soon be throwing them in the face of The Annoying And Pessimistic Person To Whom I Am Giving Lots Of Money In Order That He Might Worry On My Behalf.

Sometimes life hands us situations best passed off to Professional Worriers.  This is not a fun aspect of being an adult nor is it the sort of thing I recommend as a distraction if you happen to be bored.  Frankly, I'd avoid it if at all possible.   Sadly, I am currently in need of someone to do the worrying for me.  Hence, I am paying a Worrier.  My Worrier also moonlights as a Professional Pessimist And Overall Annoying Fellow.

Prior to my hiring this Worrier, I did my own worrying.  There was far less cost involved in self-worry and little in the way of effort.  Just a bit of research and thought.  Nothing major.  I was rather pleased with my Amateur Worrying efforts, but the Professional Worrier was skeptical.  Also Pessimistic. Annoyingly so.  Almost condescendingly so.

I believe his exact words were, "So what exactly did you think this was going to accomplish?"

I met with my Professional Worrier today and handed him many pieces of paper, among them the two documents which arrived yesterday.  He is now less Pessimistic.  In fact, he has swung all the way over to Optimistic.  He is still a little Annoying, but this has toned down considerably now that I have done literally 3/4ths of his job for him.  He can't afford to have me start thinking I might be able to charge him for Worrying, right?

He wasn't going to give it to me, not right away, though.  It took him a while.  He muttered about how circumstances were now changed and we went over a few things.  I smiled.  I answered all his Worrisome questions politely.  I did not point out the obvious.  One does not want to push a Professional Worrier too far.  Finally, though, he had no choice.  There was no way to continue the conversation without saying it.  He tossed my paperwork on the desk and said:

OK.  This isn't supposed to work like this.  You aren't supposed to just write a letter and get everything changed in a week.  That just doesn't happen.  You don't get a "do over" in these types of situations!

All I could do was smile and NOT say, "Apparently one can, Mr. Professional Worrier.  At least if one knows how to talk to people..."  I'm not stupid enough to think that the Worrier is going to charge me any less for his services even if I just made the job simpler.  In fact, he could easily decide to charge me more since the Worrying Contract isn't signed yet.  I'm lucky to be getting the Worrying Rate I'm getting right now and I don't want to trust my luck any further on this matter.  I don't speak The Worrier language well enough to do the rest of this.  He can go forth and do all that stuff on my behalf now.  By the end of our meeting, he was actually smiling and just the teeniest bit less annoying.

I wrote the check without a qualm.  It was worth it.  Every penny.  (almost...)  It's not every day an unskilled, amateur Worrier gets the last word, after all.

SA

I Am Tended.

I was tired all last week.  Straight through, day after day...just wiped out.  It makes sense, given this year's schedule but still seemed kind of extreme.  By Thursday, I could barely keep my head up to watch the last of the kidlets who take the last bus run.  I kind of had a feeling by then.

Friday clinched it for me.  The kids had earned a movie and I used the time to do paperwork and prep the Cheerful Teaching Assistant for my absence on Monday.  I like to think I did it all very well, but maybe I'm giving myself too much credit given the conversation the CTA and I had at day's end.

Ms. Sheep:  Um...I think I maybe don't feel so good.  Maybe...


Cheerful Teaching Assistant:  Gee, you think?  You've been coughing all day and have gotten so spacey.


She amended that last part upon seeing my face.  I suppose I was hoping I'd managed to hide my growing exhaustion and overall feelings of blech.  I stopped her half-way through her hasty No Offense Intended speech.  She was right.  I was sick and it showed.

By yesterday, I was in full-fledged illness mode.  I was sneezing like I was trying to expel demons and my nasal passages swelled shut by noon.  This was not fun, but delightful when compared to the cough. Coughing hurt.  I was a sight to behold and it seemed best that I refrain from forcing others to take part in that beholding.  I cancelled my appointment with The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach and stayed in for the day.

This morning, the cough had loosened up enough that I was no longer gasping very bad words each time I hacked. I was able to stumble out to the grocery store for OTC cold medications suitable for daytime administration and cough drops.  I also treated myself to some brand name tissues because this is no time to be pinching pennies.  I am unwell, for God's sake!

And if you are thinking that I might be the most overly dramatic person to ever face the common cold, you are not wrong.  I pity the poor people who were subjected to my Facebook feed yesterday...

It was not all gloom and snuffly doom, though.  I learned something new while I was moaning and groaning on the couch.  (I can moan and groan like nobody's business, thank you very much)  Apparently, there is a nurse living right here in the manse and I never so much as suspected it.

The Very Complicated Kitty came with a lengthy resume and it's possible that I missed his having completed a nursing degree what with all the other stuff in there.  I don't think so, though.  I believe he just failed to mention it.  Maybe he's modest or something.  Maybe he got teased by the other boys because male nurses are still something of a oddity even in this modern age.  Whatever the reason, he kept it to himself.

Neither the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty nor his brother are lap cats.  They are affectionate and good natured when it comes to being picked up or petted.  But they aren't the types to spontaneously go for the lap.  They just like hanging out with me.  Hence, you can imagine my surprise when the VCK suddenly became so attentive.  He's snuggled and cuddled and kept my feet warm for me all weekend.  Sometimes I kind of wished for a little more space or a free hand to knit with, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that.  Clearly, his training was taking over and I don't think he would have taken kindly to my resisting his ministrations.  Sometimes, you just need to lie still and let the medical professionals do their jobs.

I have consulted with him regarding returning to work tomorrow and he's giving it some consideration.  Frankly, I'm not so good with doctor's orders and am going anyway.  I have Safety Procedures training all day and it's not the sort of thing I can miss.  The fact that my sinuses hurt all the way down to my jaw and are given to spontaneous fluid emissions is something everyone is going to have to live with.  I gotta do this.

For tonight, though, I'll just sit still on the couch with a tissue wadded in my right nostril and a feline nurse monitoring the situation from my lap.  It's the best I can do.  I'm just grateful for having adopted a cat with such an advanced medical education.

Cant talks now. I iz on call.

SA

WNBP: I'm Feeling Saucy!!

It was a lovely day here in Maine.  Temperatures were so mild I was flashing back to spring and wanted to pack up the classroom for the coming vacation.  It was almost painful to leave school without doing that.  But I'm determined to see it for the nice day it was and not think about how I still have 9 months to go before real summer strikes.

Let's see if I can maintain my cheerful attitude through this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post!


*I left school a few minutes early today.  No one tried to stop me.  It's been a heck of a month and most people are either patting my hand in a comforting fashion or just backing away in fear.


*We had a staff meeting yesterday to cover the myriad of issues involved with the coming state assessments.


*We are in trouble if these do not go well.  Mr. Principal is starting to show the strain.


*You should have seen his face when I told him that I would be out on Monday.


*He paled.  Halfway, at any rate.  50% of his face was kind of red with impending rage.


*I told him it wasn't my fault and that he could take it up with my director since she was the one who scheduled my safety procedures training class that day.


*Then he went back to pale because this is really the best color a face can be under certain certain circumstances.


*I knit on my sock during the meeting yesterday.  


*This is one of those socks that is going to be with me for the duration.  I'll probably finish it during the next "real" summer.


*I told the Alternative Ed. teacher today that I'm working on lots of personal mantras that I can play in my head all the time.  Like a soundtrack.


*She didn't pat my hand, but I could tell she wanted to.  


*Instead, she went with the Understanding Head Bob and Soulful, Sympathetic Gaze.


*An excellent choice under the circumstances since we were standing outside the office while one of my students was recovering from a morning cafeteria brawl.


*Another one of my students was there.  It was The Boy With The Bass Booming Earbuds.  I had to question him over the whole affair.


*Best Line Of The Day:


Dude!  I swear, I didn't do nuthin'!  I was just protecting my honey bun!!




*I told Mr. Assistant Principal and he wasn't sure if we were discussing a pastry or new girlfriend.


*It was the former.


*Alpha Betta is doing very well.  The cats have left him alone.

*They do like to show up when I feed him, but I think it's because fish food smells...fishy.  They don't much care if there is an actual fish involved.


*A lot of people showed up at the family dinner last Sunday, including a long lost member of the clan who moved a while back.  She heard I was learning to can and brought me a sample of her tomato sauce.


*She's old school Yankee.  You could lock her in the house and she'd live better than most of us on just what she's got "put up" in the cellar.  


*I had some sauce with pasta tonight and...Oh.  My.  God.  


*Soooooo good!


*Old recipe.  Good recipe.  Love the long lost relatives who share.  Love them.


*Mommy Sheep?  You out there?  I need her address so I can extend further adoration in letter form.  


*Yeah.  I got the recipe.  Oh, yes I did!!!!!


*It is my mission to chronicle the family foodstuffs.  I like family foodstuffs.  To date, I've scored the recipes for lemon bars, biscuits and the super-secret rolls of goodness.  Now the sauce.  


*Currently listening to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter during the daily commute.  It's very good.


*Except for the fact that the ipod keeps skipping around and I don't know if Lincoln is a ten year old boy or the president at any given time.  


*Edited To Add:  Ipod isn't on shuffle.  Probably should have mentioned that.  Not mentioning it makes me sound like one of those middle aged women who require the assistance of teenagers to function in a technological world.  Which I sometimes am...


*I should get the actual book and just be done with it, for crying out loud.  I like the story.  


*But, in keeping with my sunny attitude, I am just grateful to be able to listen to it and shall consider the random chapter presentations as a way to keep my mind alert.


*I need more sauce, I think...


So there's a Wednesday.  I cannot wait to see what Thursday will bring because I am a sunny, saucy gal who loves life and all that garbage.  Perhaps I will find a cache of tomatoes and make some sauce.  Or maybe Lincoln will come explain how he went from being a boy in a log cabin to an adult vampire hunter then back to boyhood again in the space of two minutes.  Or someone will announce that there is no such thing as state achievement testing and my principal will return to his normal facial coloring.

Anything's possible!

SA

So Tacky!

I did not plan my weekend very well.  It's not like I didn't have advance warning of everything going on.  I've known for months.  I stuck the itinerary to the fridge for regular review and my understanding of the situation was crystal clear.  I had plans for Sunday with the family and bread was required.  More than once, I have been told that I cannot enter family functions without Cheesy Bread.  People who haven't seen me in years will say their obligatory hellos and then ask if I've come bearing offerings of grain and dairy.

This, however, did not stop me from deciding to make grape juice on Saturday.

It's not hard to make grape juice.  I've read the recipe a billion times and I do so hate to think that my summer 'o canning fun is over just because winter approacheth.  Besides, grapes were on sale for a buck a pound last week so it's not like I had much choice in the matter anyway.

What makes the situation difficult is that it is time consuming to make grape juice.  It has to sit for a while before you can it.  Furthermore, I often tend to complicate matters beyond all reason due to my unshakable belief that I always know a better way to do things and that the book isn't nearly as smart as I.  For what it's worth, I was on the right track with my "brilliant" juice straining thoughts.  Just not exactly on target.

Hence, I spent all day Saturday flinging grape guts about the kitchen and not making Cheesy Bread.  The sink was full to the brim with juicing paraphernalia and my counters so sticky that I dared not touch them for fear of becoming permanently adhered.  The floor was pretty bad, too.  I went to bed with a lot of juice sitting in the fridge and waiting for the canning pot.  But no bread...

This, of course, meant getting up at the crack of dawn to make bread.  I was tired.  I got a little distracted by cartoons.  I maybe made it a little bit darker than usual, but no one seemed to mind.  The bread was welcomed into the noontime gathering with open arms, as was I by default.  It all worked out.  Of course, the juice still needed to be canned and the cats were stuck to the kitchen floor, but what are you gonna do?

I left it all for the next day.  If nothing else, a day spent at school where the custodians keep things not-so-much-with-the-sticky would give me a new perspective.

Except for the duct tape wallet adventure.  The Boy With The Bass Booming Earbuds chose yesterday to suddenly realize he needed a wallet made out of duct tape.  Why he needed this is unknown.  Why he didn't bring his own duct tape rather than have to borrow some old stuff from the principal is also beyond me.  Furthermore, why the principal had a roll of ancient and partially melted duct tape in his desk is a mystery for the ages.  All I know is that partially melted duct tape sticks to everything.  It leaves a tacky trail that rivals grape juice in its ability to attract all things in its path.  Including the teacher who is trying to assist in the crafting of duct tape wallets.

The Boy For Whom All The World Is A Stage told the principal  I was stuck to the wall and that someone should come get me.  This wasn't true, but it still bothers me that the boss didn't even check on the situation...

I finally managed to get the classroom less gooey before I went home.  Then I scrubbed down my kitchen and ran the dishwasher.  I did a final straining of the grape juice and canned it.  It was a busy night and I still keep finding spots on the kitchen floor where it's harder to keep up forward momentum.  When I returned to school today, I discovered that the table where we all do our Very Important School Work is still riddled with glue spots.  My life is one big No Pest Strip...

The week is young.  I have plenty of time to scrape another layer of goo or two before the weekend rolls around.  I do not have any major plans for Saturday or Sunday.  At least not according to the fridge.  All the notes on there are now out of date.

I'm thinking of making cranberry juice...

SA

ABC's & 1-2-3's

1.  This is my Betta:

OK, everyone.  All together now:  Hi, Betta!!!

2.  He is new here. His name is Alpha. I guess I was kind of worried about his self esteem.

3.  Alphie for short.

4.  I am Certain that many of you are Concerned for his safety given the plethora of felines that also live here.

5.  I had some Assurances for you.  They were good ones, too.

6.  Alpha Betta was only supposed to be here temporarily.  Then he was going to live in my Classroom.

7.  Where all we had to worry about were a few well-meaning but not always gentle Boys.

8.  Now I'm not so sure.  He's my friend.  My Companion.  I like having him here.

9.  The Cats don't seem too interested.  At least not at the moment.

10.  But...

11.  I probably have Cause to be worried.

12.  The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty is practicing his Gosh I'm So Sweet 'N Innocent look:

He's got it down pat.  It looks good on him, too.

13.  The Very Complicated Kitty is working on his Reassuring Grin:

This needs work.  It does not look good on him.  It looks...disturbing.

15.  There is the possibility of a Catastrophe.  I am Aware of this.

16.  It's a Conundrum.

17.  I'll need to Cogitate on this.  Work the ol' Brain for a while.  Ask the experts...

18.  Meanwhile, the male to female ration here at the Manse stands at 3:1.  I'm outnumbered, but I Accept this.

19.  Alphie is a very Congenial roommate, after all.

20.  He is not, however, open to the idea of tiny, handknit sweaters.  Frankly, I think it's a Bias.


SA

Random Consistency Restored.

All-righty, then!  I'm back on board with the Wednesday Night Bullet Post and doing it when I'm supposed to.  Last week's little Thursday debacle is past us and we can all move forward.  This is what healthy people do.  At least that is what the healthy people tell me.  The non-healthy people tend to ignore me since they are kind of caught up in their own stuff.

Let the bullet points commence!

*The Organized Teaching Assistant had to have surgery again and is out for three weeks.  This leaves us kind of short staffed over in my corner of The Magnificent Learning Factory.


*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant wasn't quite as cheerful as is her norm yesterday.


*I was not exactly shocked when I got word that she was home sick with a fever today.


*Fever=no work.  That is the rule.  


*And I don't want her getting even sicker so she really did the right thing.


*There were no substitutes available at all.  Not even for the first one to fall under my command.


*I had to go it alone today.


*At 1:00, I went to the office to find Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk. I had three children in tow.


*Here's what I said:


"For the love of all that is holy, would you please look at these children for three minutes.  If I don't find a bathroom soon, there is going to be a great deal of therapy in all our futures.  I can't speak for them, but I plan on billing the school district for this."


*She watched them for me.  


*But then she made me take them back because there is no sneaking past MSWSATBD.


*We had a meeting after school.  Training on the issue of school violence and bullying.


*I am very passionate about this topic and have been since back when we all thought it was OK to say things like "Kids will be kids..."


*I did not care about it this afternoon.  Not one little bit.  


*I was tired and feeling a little bullied myself after 8 straight hours in the company of middle school students.


*And I forgot to bring the sock along so I couldn't even knit.


*Hey...I'm curious.  Has anyone read The Forest of Hands and Teeth?  I hear good things and I'm thinking it's one I should have read by now.  


*You don't need to rush out and read it just because I'm curious.  Don't put yourself to any trouble on my account.  I was just wondering is all.


*Best Conversation Of The Week:

Ms. Sheep:  Mmmph.  Magglepromph.  Blerk.

(the boy who is) Dark And Disturbed:  You look tired, Ms. Sheep.

MS: Blaaaaaaaahhhhh.

DAD:  Hey, have you ever heard that story about the Greek guy? The one who had to do all those trials and stuff?

MS:  Flagglesnorf.  Glumph.

DAD:  No.  Not him.  The other guy.  The one who was really strong.  One of the things he had to do was clean out these massively messed up stables.  It's a myth.

MS:  Hrumph.

DAD:  Yeah.  That's the one.  Anyway, I was thinking after watching you today that your job is kind of like that trial.

MS:  (eyes tearing and lip trembling because someone finally understands)  Mmmphlap. Booooosh.  Proooshie-koosh.

DAD:  You're welcome.


*When I got home today, I was very tired.  I wanted nothing more than to fling myself upon the sofa and forget the whole world.


*But I was met at the door by two cats.  The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty always meets me at the door.


*The Very Complicated Kitty does not.  He waits for me to come to him.


*Today there were two at the door.  And I've lived with cats long enough to recognize guilt when I see it.


*Trash can dumped all over the living room.

We are past the guilty phase of the process now.

We are back to filling all the holes in the window screens with fluffy fur.  We tell Mommy that it is insulation for the coming winter and she is too tired to argue.

*I get a daily WikiHow on my Google homepage. Sometimes it scares me a little. 

*The best thing about September is that there are all kinds of new TV seasons starting.  It almost makes September attractive except for the part where I have to work too hard to stay awake for most of it.


*The cats seem happy about it, too.  Which is good because they had a hard day what with all the anxiety and guilt over the trash can.  



I can't think of anything else.  I'm pretty sure there is other stuff I should be telling you.  Like the part where the lady was knitting at the training this afternoon and it made me sad because mine was still sitting in the classroom.  Or how I forgot my lunch and was forced to eat all the apples I've been putting in my bag every day but not eating in spite of all my good intentions.  But I guess I won't be able to tell you about that since I can't remember it.

Still, it is Wednesday and I managed to post so we're going to celebrate anyway.  We also celebrate that there is new television to watch and no children in my house to make me too tired to appreciate it.

SA

A Heck Of A Jam

When Daddy Sheep asked me today what the heck was going on with the blogging, I was forced to admit that it sort of got away from me last week. (and for several weeks prior to that, but who's counting?) First, I didn't make it to the starting gate with the Wednesday Night Bullet Post. Then I went ahead and did it on Thursday, no doubt causing any number of poor readers to think that the weekend was one day further away than it really was. I cannot even begin to imagine the despair I wrought with that one! Lastly, I totally forgot to post yesterday, in spite of the fact that I really did mean to do just that.

It's rare that I actually have anything to say these days. But yesterday, I did.  I learned three very important life lessons and I wanted to share them with you. I guess I'll just do it now.  Same stuff, different day, if you will...

The first thing I learned was this:

If you have never before in your life made jam, it is probably not a good idea to start with a no pectin recipe. In fact, I am certain that this is not a good idea. 




The second thing I learned was this:

If you turn your back on jam, it will gel without telling you.  Then it will burn. It doesn't matter if you look away for a fraction of a second, even if you do it so you can perform the gelling test like the book says you should.  It will take that moment and use it to sear itself to the bottom of your best pan.  It will do in such a fashion as to resist all standard methods of pan cleaning, as well as a few special tricks you've learned over the years.  This is just the nature of jam.  Do not trust jam.  Ever.



The third thing I learned is this:

Burnt jam smells really, really awful.  I think it's the subtle base notes of failure that do it, if you want the truth.  That and the carbonized sugar.  Just remember this and you'll be fine: Jam=Fan.  Fans are very good at wafting away the scent of your shame.


Once it was clear that I would be jamless for the weekend, it fell upon me to find other things with which to amuse myself.  I spent a little time jotting down that silly little story that has been waving at me from the back of my mind since early July.  For the record, I'm always jotting down silly little stories.  Even if they are silly, it makes me feel smart when I jot them down.

And on a day when the lingering smell of burnt jam is mocking you from the kitchen, it is rather important to do things that make you feel smart.

I also spent some time knitting away on the Situationally Necessary Octagonal Replacement Thingie. (SNORT).  That didn't make me feel nearly as smart since it is kind of a simple thing and even I know when I'm merely humoring myself.  But it's also comforting to just knit and purl and do a decrease every now and again.

I made a few grand pronouncements around how I'd be finishing the SNORT this weekend, but I think we all knew that was just me being wildly optimistic.  I am prone to that sort of thing and it almost makes me feel better in a weird sort of way.  I don't like it when life lets me down, but it's perfectly OK if I've engineered the situation.  It's like I'm in control of my own failure and that renders me all-powerful.

Don't question it.  I don't understand it myself.  Frankly, I inhaled a heck of a lot of blackened jam fumes yesterday and it's entirely possible there's some brain damage.  I'm sure I'll be fine, but please feel free to make some calls if I start mentioning the three-headed monkeys selling encyclopedias at my front door.

So that was that.  Except for the part where I forgot to blog about it, but I've taken care of that now so all is well.  I spent today scraping the bottom of the jam pan and cleaning away all traces of this experiment from my kitchen.  I'll give it another go sometime in the near future since I know for a fact where I went wrong, but there's really no time for that now.  I have to go back to work tomorrow and teach America's Future how to do things like read.  They probably won't give me the day off to go buy more sugar even if I tell them that I burned up the last of my supply.  The education train stops for no man or woman.  So I'll put all this jam business behind me and go teach the masses.

I do not teach Home Economics.  Let's all take a minute to be grateful for that fact...

SA

Late Bullets. They're Better Than None...

I am normally somewhat confused when the school year starts. I suddenly become incapable of discerning what day it is. The only one that makes any sense at all is Wednesday because that is the day I do the Wednesday Night Bullet Post. This week, I've done fairly well, though. I knew what day it was all along. Even today.

Now I'm confused again.

Last night was Open House Night at school. It only lasts an hour, but I have to stay until it starts because driving home and turning around to go right back makes little to no sense. What with all sorts of "this" and little bit of "that,"things got away from me and I didn't get to the WNBP. Now I'm going to do it on a Thursday and hope for the best. I'm pretty sure that it won't mess me up too much. Tomorrow is Friday and I always know that day from all the others.

Let's give this TNBP a shot and see where it takes us:

*I had one parent visit me last night.


*That's OK. I have a very small class and all the parents know that they will be calling me and meeting with me umpteen times during the course of the upcoming school year. 


*Hard to blame them for not wanting to drive in on a Wednesday night to do scavenger hunts and hear all about their kids schedules, especially given how complicated they are.


*Virtually indecipherable unless you have to go about them every day.


*Then they are only partially indecipherable.


*I have a meeting tomorrow morning and somehow didn't find a way to fit that into the schedule and I'm one of the people who does it every stupid day...


*Public Service Announcement: I am tired. I am very tired. I am tired of other humans and the start of the school year has forced me to be in contact with many humans who seem to need my constant attention. Please note that I will be locked in my house for the coming weekend and keeping contact with the rest of the world to an absolute minimum.


*Thank you for your understanding and distance. It will benefit both of us in the long run.


*Mostly new kids in the class this year. They are not so bad, really. Even the challenging ones are interesting given that it's all new stuff. Change is good.


*But they are needy. Crazily so. They need to know where all staff are at all times or they cannot function.


*I feel weird telling a 13 year old boy that I need to go to the bathroom and that my having to stop and tell him this is putting us both at risk for extended therapy over the next five years.


*I plan to knit this weekend. I plan to finish something.


*I probably won't finish it, but I like the part where I plan to do so.


*Makes me feel really competent.


*I summoned the will to go buy cat food this afternoon. The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty ran out of his food several days ago.


*He's been eating the very expensive food specially ordered by prescription for the Very Complicated Kitty.


*I'll have to order another case of the very expensive food specially ordered by prescription for the VCK.


*It's all very complicated. 


*I was talking to SIL Sheep earlier tonight.


*She asked if I'd pooped recently.


*I soon realized that she was actually talking to her dog, but it was too late to keep me from wondering if I'd performed the aforementioned action.


*Now it's all I can think about...


*I found this very cool collection of short stories in my Hardly Ever Read Pile Of Books the other day. Can't believe I forgot I had this thing lying around. 


*The Nightmare Factory by Thomas Ligotti. Not my usual fare, but a refreshing change.


*Forward by Poppy Z. Bright. 


*She wrote Lost Souls, among other things. Deep, twisted stuff but kind of brilliant if you're in the mood for it.


*Exquisite Corpse was the very first book I ever bought from Amazon back when doing such things was a new and daring experience.


*You got a free bookmark and I thought that was the very height of sophistication at the time.


*I keep crackers in my classroom for kids who get hungry. I tend to eat them more often than not, but I mean well. I gave some to a starving teen the other day before he expired right then and there on the floor.


*He said, "Gee, you're kind of like the nice grandma who always gives out homemade cookies and pennies on Halloween."


*I am currently deciding which class he is going to fail for this school year. Don't even bother trying to tell me that this is unprofessional because you are wrong.


*His mother didn't come to Open House Night. That is probably for the best...


Well, willya lookit that! It seems that Thursday Night Bullets sound pretty much like the ones that happen on Wednesday. I don't think this is going to result in a radical change of blogging strategies, but it's good to know. Hope that everyone had a pleasant (if bullet point free) Wednesday and survived the lopsided posting this week. If it bothered you, I do apologize.

But look at it this way: you have the weekend to recover!

SA

Yarn Remembered, Fudge Denied

This weekend was the date Mommy Sheep and I set aside for our annual pilgrimage to the local United Maine Craftsman show.  We've done it for years so you'd think I could manage to make it there on time or remember how to get there without having to think about it and turn myself around twice, but that's not always how these things work out.  In the end, we found one another and the shopping commenced!

I report back on this field trip each year for the blogging community.  Generally, I make a point of telling what I bought and what I paid for it.  You see, it is fairly common to spot people at these events picking up an item, squinting at the price tag then saying to a friend something along the lines of:

What???  I could make ten of these before bedtime and it wouldn't cost me but a nickel for the whole lot of 'em!

Polite people say this in hushed tones.  The less "socially aware" tend to verge on bellowing and always think themselves quite the witty soul for having thought up such humorous dialogue.  The fact of the matter is that it really doesn't matter how much something costs if you need/want/will die if you don't have it.  I don't care if it's a pom-pom with a magnet glued to one end and a pair of google eyes affixed to the other.  If it's something you desire, then it's most likely worth the price.

Furthermore, let's be honest.  Of course we can make google eye magnets.  We can make lots of things if we put our minds to it.  But are we really going to do it?  I could probably set my own broken leg if I wanted to, but I still feel grateful that there are people out there to do it for me.  I feel the same way about craftsmen.  I can't do many of the things they do and the stuff I probably could manage isn't something I'll be getting around to in this lifetime.  I'll proudly announce what I paid for handmade items and I make a point of doing it once per year just to prove it!!!

As I prepared to do that very post this afternoon, I suddenly remembered something.  Almost everything I bought this year is a Christmas gift.  While this makes me a very good person and probably deserving of a medal, it isn't going to help me with the blogging.  It's all Very Secret Stuff That Must Be Cloaked In Mystery.  Worse, saying what I paid becomes kind of tacky if it's a gift and the recipient gets to read all about it.

Well, pooh!  So much for the yearly tradition. The only other thing I bought was some fudge.  And I might be an open book where the crafts are concerned, but I'm going to go to my grave without telling you what I paid for a pound of homemade fudge.  It was good fudge...but not so good that I want the world to know how desperate I am for dessert.  I figured I'd have to take some pictures of the cats for the blog and pretend that the craft fair was attacked by wild ducks and declared off limits by the Fish And Game Commission.

And then, because apparently tonight is the evening for sudden and spontaneous remembrances, I realized that I did have something I could share!  How could I have forgotten???

I bought yarn!!!!!

In fact, Hilltop Handspun was my very first stop, at least the kind where I laid down some cash rather than just peruse.  I always make a point of picking up something from the charming Lucy Rogers because she is talented, the only purveyor of yarn at the show and an all-around nice lady.  I also think that $19.00 per skein (1 laceweight and 1 sockish) is pretty competitive pricing.  Not that it matters.  If you love it and want to support the artist, then you drop the dollars.  Besides, it's been a while since I've been able to hear someone say, "You can never have enough sock yarn in the stash!" At least not in real time as opposed to online.

We had a good time, Mommy 'n Me.  We shopped and lunched and that is always a pleasant way to spend a Saturday.  It might mean having to do all the Saturday chores on Sunday and put off the Sunday chores until November, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I spent some money, no doubt about it.  But I'm ahead of the game on Christmas shopping so it's no harm/no foul there either.

As far as the fudge goes, you'll all just have to wonder.  The most I'll say is that I bought two kinds, peanut butter with chocolate and chocolate with walnuts.  I'll also admit that it was very, very good fudge.  I'm not even too proud to say that it was all for me and that I kept it hidden in my purse for the entire day of shopping just to make sure that nothing bad happened to it. (carjackers love fudge, I'm told)  But that's it.  No admissions regarding the amount spent will be forthcoming.

However, I will add that I don't regret a penny of it!

SA

WNBP: Back To The Routine

One of the really, really fun things for the blog readers is that, when I go back to school in the fall, they get to constantly hear about my Day Confusion. You'd think I'd eventually get back in the swing of things, but I never seem to. From now until June (or retirement) you will all be able to live a day in my life with each post. And you won't have a clue what day that might be.

Except for Wednesdays.  Those I generally get right.  The Wednesday Night Bullet Post is always a good anchor for me.  Let's sit back and enjoy tonight's dose of the random!

*I'm kidding.  I had no clue it was really Wednesday for most of the day.  


*Cut me some slack.  Monday was a holiday and we also had Friday off.  Today could be Gluffensporkday for all I know...


*It was the third day of school for the kids.


*And my staff and I have already had a moment where all we could say was, "Oh my God, they are annoying!!!!"


*I know that sounds harsh, but you had to be there.  There was burping involved at one point.


*Spunky Girl was feeling particularly spunky and wanted to express herself through the timeless art of the belch.


*Charming...


*I am no longer knitting the Situationally Necessary Octagonal Thingie. (SNOT)


*I have swapped it out for the Situationally Necessary Octagonal Replacement Thingie (SNORT)


*Sometimes you just have to accept that you have no intention of ever picking up all those stitches sitting on waste yarn.  Even if you really want to be the kind of person who does that.


*SNORT on!!!


*The Very Complicated Kitty took his meds this morning without batting a whisker.


*We switched pharmacies so now his pills are blue instead of pink.


*He doesn't seem to care one way or the other.  As long as they are smooshed up in a nice gloppy cat food meatball, it's all the same to him.


*Still reeling from the fact that his medications qualify for the store's reward program while mine do not.


*He's probably going to get email now too since we had to put his name of the sign up form.


*The school nurse thought this was the funniest story she'd heard since ten seconds earlier when I prefaced the tale with the fact that I have a cat on anti-anxiety medication.


*As did Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk.


*She used to be Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Front Desk, but the other MSWSATBD got a new job last year.  


*Now Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Front Desk is Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk.


*We mourn the loss because we loved MSWSATBD, but we also love MSWSATFD so it all worked out when she changed her title.


*Mrs. Amazing Permanent Substitute Teacher For Our Building is now MSWSATFD.  It took two people to take her old job because she is amazing.


*I haven't made up names for them yet because I am still adjusting to all the changes in the front office and I don't have time to deal with multiple shocks to my system.


*One thing at a time...


*I am still trying to figure out why I decided to re-read Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell right before the start of school. This isn't just a book.  It is a veritable tome!


*If you listen carefully, you can still hear some of the editors and bookish bigwigs crying out in pain at its all being between two covers.


*"It's a series!" they cried in anguish.  "This could go on for decades if we just do some cutting!!!"


*Long book.  Amazing, wonderful and very long book.


*I love this book and don't know why I haven't picked it up in a while.


*Probably couldn't lift it.  Or finish it before summer vacation ended.


*That's OK.  It gives me something else to think about besides burping students and shuffling secretaries.


*During my ungodly early morning commute (and the weary afternoon version), I am listening to From Dead to Worse (Original MM Art) (Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood).


*Not a tome.  But still a fun listen.  I like the reader.


Now, however, it is time to leave you.  All thoughts of reading, office staff and burping must be set aside in favor of figuring out what the heck I am going to wear tomorrow.  Now that I am fully back in Teacher Mode, I should probably come up with something besides sweats and t-shirts.  I am a professional who needs clean jeans and maybe a top without salsa stains.  That takes some time to put together since nothing resembling it is near the summit of the clothing pile.

This routine is probably going to be the death of me...

SA