Wednesday, February 10, 2010

WNBP: The Art Of Misdirection

I normally try to think of Wednesday as a positive kind of thing. It is midweek. It marks the beginning of the end and puts us closer to the weekend. It's not Monday. That last one will work if you are really stuck for something nice to say about your day.

This week has proved itself to be endless. It might as well be Monday for all the good the passage of time is doing me. At least I have the Wednesday Night Bullet Post to look forward to. Let's see how things shook down today:

*No storm up here. This is good. I'm kind of over this whole "winter thing."

*Yes, a snow day would have been nice. Especially given the snail-like nature of this ridiculous week. I would have enjoyed that.

*But it's better to think about not having to make up the day in June at this point.

*Plus it's the week before school vacation so that kinds of takes the sting out of it.

*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant is sickly right now. She's sneezing. A lot.

*This is an issue not just from a "Sheepie's fear of germs" standpoint.

*She leaves for London early next week.

*London hates it when American tourists come over and sneeze all over the scenery.

*We are thinking healthy thoughts.

*And offering up preemptive apologies to the international community for whatever may happen.

*Several kids did very well in art class today and earned extra "choice" time. They "chose" to play computer games. The boy who is Gauged And Aerodynamic was pleased by this turn of events and, as a result, more chatty than usual.

*This resulted in The Best Conversation Of The Day:

Gauged And Aerodynamic: Did you know that if you die and no one finds you, your cats will actually eat you if they get hungry? That's just gross!!

Ms. Sheep: Well, they're not like people. You can't blame them. They're just doing what instinct tells them to do.

Cheerful Teaching Assistant: I don't feel so good...

GAA: I mean...dude! Seriously! Eaten by your cat! That's a bad way to go.

MS: Yeah.

CTA: (blows nose and looks wearily at the unmoving clock)

GAA: It just creeps me out. My cat starts nibbling on me if I just go to sleep...

(MS and the CTA immediately start mentally composing their respective Facebook updates, trying all the while to hold back their giggles)

*I am of the opinion that the manufacturers of whole wheat pasta should have to answer for their crimes against diners everywhere.

*GAH! I hate whole wheat pasta.

*It always seems so healthy and I get guilted into trying it.

*False advertising. Bad pasta. Bad, bitter, gritty, slimy pasta.

*Join me in a class action suit, people! Rise up against this injustice!!!!!

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty seems perplexed by my having used duct tape to secure the cabinet he keeps opening.

*I wouldn't mind except he takes out all the pots and pans.

*The Big Fluffy Kitty refuses to do anything about it.

*She is immune to my waving around the "You Are The Big Sister And Therefor Responsible For What Goes On Around Here During The Day" clause.

*If I die and people find me, I'd appreciate it if someone steps up to explain all the duct tape.

*Looks crazy. And could be mistaken for bad decorating choices.

*That didn't come up today in the Dead At Home With The Cats discussion, but I'll be sure to mention it tomorrow.

And there's Wednesday. As this week trickles away towards its end point, I am finding little to celebrate. The pasta was whole wheat, the weather is drizzly (albeit not stormy) and the clock won't move no matter what I say. However there is one thing I managed to accomplish.

I avoided discussing the unfinished mitten with the gaping thumb hole sitting right in the middle of it.



Teri S. said...

I'm glad you're stormless and not looking at extra days in June. Too bad the CTA is off to London (well, not for her). I hope it doesn't leave you short-staffed again.

I feel your pain with the mitten issues. I'm not at the thumb yet, but my mitten looks like it could fit Edward Scissors-Hands.

May the latter part of your week go faster than the first part.

Beth said...

I am so with you on the whole wheat pasta thing. Brown rice - pretty good. Brown pasta - yucky!

Anonymous said...

I am 100% with you on the whole-wheat-pasta-is-devil-spawn thing. I like whole grains, I like stuff made with whole grains. Heck, I actually PREFER stuff made with whole grains, pancakes and cookies and even brownies. But no matter how hard I try, w.w. pasta = yuck. Damn. Especially DAMN since I have some in the pantry, purchased in an attempt to prove that all previous experiences with such pasta were aberrations. I'm pretty sure this will not end well.

trek said...

Number Guy and Neatnik actually like whole wheat pasta. He even said so when I read your post out loud. I commented that I do not like whole wheat pasta. I don't think he's noticed that I do not eat it myself when I serve it to the two of them.

There are four or so boxes of whole wheat pasta on the pantry shelf which they need to eat before I can go back to buying the good stuff.

That, or I shall have to buy one small box of this-is-Mommy's-pasta-and-don't-you-forget-or-touch-it and that just doesn't seem all that family-friendly...

Mel said...

Maybe you're just getting the wrong kind of whole wheat pasta. Ours tastes perfectly fine.

=Tamar said...

Congratulations for thinking about how things might look Later. My next step is actually doing something about it... maybe later...

Louiz said...

As a resident of London, I can assure the CTA that she's not going to be the only one sneezing everywhere!

Also, tell her to bring warm clothes. It's *cold* here.

Mia said...

::shudder:: i just fell asleep w/kitty on my belly and nose to nose w/me... I better make sure to keep her well fed. Just in case :)

Anonymous said...

I kind of like whole wheat pasta. Mel may be right; perhaps you're buying the wrong brand.

Next Week = School Vacation = Sheepie goes to Chicks with Sticks (&wheels)(new hours 5:30 - 9).

erasmus (aka jiva) said...

I tried spelt whole pasta instead of whole wheat. Much nuttier and tasty too. Softer and generally much more palitable. Also not wheat which can be good for intolerance of too many carbs.
tell your lovely teaching assistant to double up the layers, its very cold in the uk at the moment.

Cathy said...

Hope that the storms continue to miss you.

It's almost Friday (sorta).

Berta in Texas said...

What is it with cats and cabinets lately? The very small cat (5 pounds tops and she bullies the 68 pound dogs)recently discovered she could open kitchen cabinets. Magnetic latches were promptly installed as I quickly tired of putting the undersink junk back under the sink. I miss winter breaks. Texas doesn't do winter breaks.

Julia G said...

You’d think your mitten/thumb angst would have inspired me to finish my own thumbless mitten languishing in the pile, but instead it inspired me to cast on a fingerless glove with mitten flap combo, on which I have almost finished all the fingers (now there’s an existential headache—knitting fingers on a fingerless glove) and am about to summit Kilamanjaro... I mean, K2… er, that is, the thumb. Reporting from base camp at the thumb gusset…

Donna Lee said...

I don't like whole wheat pasta either. It's gritty.

And I will gladly share some of our record breaking amount of snow with anyone who wants it? Anyone? please?

And the forcast calls for snow on Monday.....

I'm sooooo over this.

Cursing Mama said...

I'm fairly certain I've determined that whole wheat pasta is in fact cardboard & glue.

Karen said...

I hope your CTA feels better. It isn't fair to get sick for vacation.

I won't eat whole wheat pasta. I do buy the Barilla Plus. It's pretty good and somewhat healthy.

Knitting Linguist said...

I'll join in that class-action suit anyday! When I feel like I should be getting more whole grains in my Italian cuisine, I prefer polenta. Way better than fake pasta.

catsmum said...

Oakley is totally into the idea of self catering - if I don't feed him as often as he feels is his due, he will paw open the pantry , hook out the dry cat food, tip it over and gorge himself on the contents.
As to the whole 'eaten by cats' thing - I figure if I'm already dead, I wouldn't want my furrbabies to starve :]

Kathleen said...

You must try Hodgson Mill, Whole Wheat, Whole Grain, Elbows. You will not know the difference, my kids don't, kid #1 is 51 years old. Great in pasta salad too.