Wednesday, January 27, 2010

WNBP: Middle Is Better Than Nothing.

Today, I mentioned to one of the students that the week was moving along and that soon it would be over. An adult in the vicinity looked rather startled by that comment and said:

But it's only Wednesday...

I know. I am perfectly aware of the day. But it was after the noon hour and I need to find ways to put a positive spin on things right now. I didn't mention the fact that it is the day of the Wednesday Night Bullet Post. She wouldn't have understood that reference. It would have made things worse. Once you've identified Wednesday as something kind of like the end of the week, you are going to be the talk of the teacher's room. You don't want to make it any worse.

Here's this week's bullet points:

*This has been, at its best, a "trying" week.

*"Trying" is the nicest word I can think of right now.

*For the blog.

*The words I've used in real-time are not nearly so...polite.

*They are more colorful.

*Blindingly so.

*One staff member out due to surgery.

*Doc says she won't be back any time soon.

*That was all right. We could manage.

*Sort of...

*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant and I are an amazing team.

*Superheros, really.

*But now she has a family emergency.

*She never takes time off. I begrudge her nothing. She needs time, she gets it.

*Under the current circumstances, I will be alone in a room with middle school students for 7 hours a day.

*The same middle school students. They don't really go anywhere. They just sit there and stare blankly at me for hours and hours.

*All boys.

*With "adjustment issues."

*Please don't feel the need to say anything. I know. It's the sort of thing that takes the words away and leaves a person making naught but sputtering sounds.

*Still working on that second mitten.

*Got the thumb gusset done while I rode the little exercise bike today.

*It is not fair that I have to ride the little exercise bike after finding out that I have no staff with whom to share the joys of middle school teacher commentary.

*You should lose ten pounds automatically under those circumstances I think.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty is still completely enamoured with the felted mousie he got for Christmas.

*I give mousie another week.

*Then he'll be what we call in the fiber trade "a shapeless, soggy, woolen blob.

*The Big Fluffy Kitty doesn't seem to want the mousie so that all works out.

*She just wants crunchy treats.

*I emailed the Mr. Assistant Principal yesterday to let him know that I was hanging in there all alone upstairs in my classroom with The Children Of The Corn.

*I did, however, suggest that he send up one of those big dogs that carry cocoa in a barrel on their necks to the trapped skiers.

*He emailed back that we lost the dog in the budget cuts. He thought he might be able to swing the cocoa, though

*I, in turn, emailed that "cocoa" actually referred to the other beverage typically carried by those fabled doggies of yore.

*And that he should go see Mrs. Secretary Who Sits At The Back Desk because she knows how to write up the budget forms so the receipts go through without scrutiny.

*These are desperate times, after all. We can't be dithering around trying to find the cash for beverages.

*I didn't get any cocoa.

I can't think of anything else. That covers the highlights. Wednesday might be the middle of the week, but it's closer to Friday than Monday was. Tuesday is also closer to Friday, but it doesn't have the same "I can make it" feeling. Plus, my Tuesday was twelve days long so it didn't help me one little bit, thank you very much. Yup. In my world, Wednesday is just about like a Friday.

And that's the story I'm sticking with right now.



trek said...

That much pubescent testosterone and human growth hormone is probably toxic to middle-aged Sheep. Are you getting hazzard pay?

Kath said...

I could be wrong but perhaps the fact that you are still able to email him gives Mr. Assistant Principal the idea that you are quite well and fine? As opposed to say...passed out under the desk or hiding in a closet for example? Could you send one of the students to carry some sort of "things are getting worse please send chocolate" message? If nothing else, it would reduce the number of kids in your class!

Anonymous said...

I am torn between thinking you need knitting and needles to protect your psyche and your bed self from those adolescent boys, and worrying that you should not be allowed near them with sharp object. Good luck, and let us know if you need bail money.

Donna Lee said...

I think that there should be a rule about testosterone/estrogen levels and the ratio thereof. Estrogen should always come out on top. You need backup.

gayle said...

Kahlua in the cocoa would be a plus. Especially on a Wednesday...

Anonymous said...

THank God the head is on the teddy!


Karen said...

And now it is Thursday afternoon. The weekend is rushing towards us. I hope your week passes quickly without assistants and more importantly without incident.

Beth said...

Oh my! I hope today went well for you. Tomorrow is Friday!!!

Julia G said...

Nothing like waff-oos to cheer you up in a snowstorm! The strong winds following the snow down here are making the kittehs run around like crazy.

Yarnhog said...

I agree with the hazard pay thing. That's inhuman!

Yarnhog said...

Ironically, my verification word is "scrota." Isn't that the plural know? Those things you have waaaaaaaaay too many of in your classroom?

Knitting Linguist said...

Oh, wow. That is honestly the nightmare that I have about high school. Scary. Whiskey would definitely help a lot.