Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Gainfully Employed Bullets Are More Painful

It's sad when I think about how, not just the last, but the last TWO Wednesday Night Bullet Posts were written while I was lounging around on vacation. Now, school has resumed and I am expected to stumble out of the house at 6:00 in the godforsaken morning so that I might be prepared to educate the uninterested masses for seven hours per day.

Ouch. That hurts.

But I take a little pleasure in knowing that it is Wednesday. The week is half done and I get to do a random sort of post instead of trying to come up with something that makes sense. I only have so much sense left after teaching middle school students. I like to save some in case the manse catches on fire or something equally fraught with the need to think clearly should occur.

Here's your bullet points for this week:

*Did I mention the part where I had to go back to school?

*No fewer than three people have commented to me this week that they feel they would do very well as retired teachers.

*I feel the same way.

*The other Most Frequently Heard Comment today was about how it really felt like Thursday.

*Usually it's just me that can't figure out what day it is so that was kind of comforting.

*Here's a weird thing. I've been thinking about how I might want to crochet something.

*I hate it when I forget how to crotchet.

*Forgetting makes me feel old.

*Today, Mommy Sheep sent me a bunch of crotchet patterns. She thought I might like them.

*See? That's weird right?

*Mommy Sheep Intuition.

*The Kid Who Doesn't Have An Off Switch was in rare form today.

*No off switch. Makes for a long day.

*The Great Debater (so called because he can argue a fly off doggy doo) made the following statement:

"I don't know how you can keep being so nice. Seriously. You must be like a saint or something. One of these days, you'll let me do it my way. You'll see that I'm right. Just give me five minutes. That's all I need. Five minutes and no witnesses"

*I am a good person because I told TGD that I didn't need his services at the moment and that I appreciate TKWDHAOS for his big personality.

*I am a bad person because I didn't say that right away. I needed a minute...

*I like to think that the good/bad scales tip in my favor on this one.

*I need to take out the trash.

*And fold some laundry.

*And pretend to knit a sweater that I know I won't finish because I never do.

*Except for that one time.

*I also need to clean the bathroom.

*Who has time for all that stuff and a full time job?

*Is this why people have children?

*Can you make them do stuff like that? Is it legal or do you have to pay them?

*There is no way I can be expected to tend to housekeeping stuff if I have to work.

*And I didn't do it during vacation since that would negate the purpose of having a vacation.

*Vacations mean sitting around, right?

*I don't have time to have children. I hear that takes a few months and that they have to reach a certain height before you can make them do heavy lifting.

*It's a quandary, that's what it is.

*I'll just sit here for a while longer and ponder it. Maybe I'll come up with a solution to this horrible scheduling dilemma.

So there's Wednesday. Granted it involved getting up and doing that work thing, but I suppose it's all in how you look at it. It's a regular paycheck and that lets me afford the broadband connection so I can complain about having to work for a living. There's a certain symmetry in that. You just have to think about it and the positives begin to come into focus.

Now if I can just put that kind of cognition into figuring out how to get the cats to take out the trash...



trek said...

Years. You have to wait years before you can give them stuff to do.

And then you have to supervise them. Often, you have to end each request with and then come back here because if you do not, they will become distracted by a dust mote and you will not see them again until they are hungry. Then you have to feed them.

Eventually, they grow up and move out and you have to do all of it by yourself again - right about the time when you have forgotten how.

Anonymous said...

What trek said. Especially that part about and then come back here because if you don't, they will assume that taking out the trash was the absolutely only thing you ever expected them to do for the rest of their life. Truth.

And there is no paycheck involved in having children, except that it all works better if you have one.

Beth said...

TGD sounds like a gem and a handy person to have around. :)

Knitting Linguist said...

Yup, trek's right. Years. Years and years and years. And then, even when you can actually make them do things, they argue with you about them. Both of my daughters are in training as Jesuits apparently, and can argue the ears off a donkey, or the hat off a Pope. Either way, I don't stand a chance.

Mia said...

mm hmm, for alll of the above is why I called in today - on a Thursday.

Well.... that and I'm out of xanax ::sigh::

But then again, it's almost Friday :)

Karen said...

If you are looking for household help, don't consider having children. The arguing to get them to do the stuff so isn't worth the 10% of the time they actually do it. Also they are very expensive. The dent in the yarn budget is unbelievable.

Teri S. said...

I've heard that having children generates a lot more work and housekeeping for the parental units. While it's nigh near impossible for the cats to take out the trash (something about their size relative to the size of the trash bag), at least they don't argue with you. Or at least not very loudly.

It was definitely difficult to head back to the office after having a week off. I could so be retired. Sadly, I've got to wait about 12 years. Gah!

=Tamar said...

Alas, when cats take the trash out, generally it's the feral ones taking the trash out of the bag.

Kath said...

Could have been worse. I mean, imagine if he asked for five minutes, no witnesses AND a shovel. Then you'd be edging towards the door, right?

Anonymous said...

Trek is right except for one thing - they don't always move out.