Monday, November 17, 2008

Think Pink

I stumbled into Monday as I bumble into most of them: less than gracefully.  I do not respond well to the sound of the alarm clock and don't even try to tell me that the cute one I bought over the summer that makes cool birdie noises makes it one little bit better.  It does not.  I was born to be a Sheepie of leisure and have failed miserably in my achievement of this goal.   That alarm brings home the point rather forcefully five days out of seven per week.

Things progressed as they always do on Mondays with me being a bit behind schedule and unable to get any of it back on track.  I had enough gas to get to school and enough time left on the clock to say that I wasn't late upon arrival.  But it was near thing on both counts.

The routine took a sudden left turn around 9:00, though.  I couldn't put my finger on it.  But something just wasn't right.  By 10:00, I had a clearer picture of the situation.

Maybe it was my less than nutritionally balanced diet over the past weekend.  Maybe it was the six million kids horking up their breakfasts in the nurse's office.  Heck, I'm not beyond thinking that it was a last little Love Tap from The Dark Forces That Hate It When I Knit Things With Sleeves.  They certainly made their feelings known yesterday with that smiting of the neckline trick.  I wouldn't put it past them to try and mess with my Monday.

Whatever the cause, things were not going well in my digestive tract.  In fact, they were going rather badly.  By the time I was left in the room with That Kid Who Really Shouldn't Be Attending Assemblies, I wondered if there was going to be some sort of "incident."  I further wondered if it was going to be the kind of "incident" that would scar TKWRSBAA for life.  Not to mention his shoes...

Thankfully, I am one of those people who carry a pharmacy in my purse.  I have remedies for pain, congestion, itchy skin, profuse bleeding and snake bites. I can glove up and perform surgery with my swiss army knife, if need be.  I can whip up a sling and record any pertinent vital signs should that service be required.  I also have some very lovely pink chewable tablets in there that will stop the dreaded Icky Belly in its tracks.  Sort of.  There are still going to be a few tense moments and there will probably be some snapping at TKWRSBAA after he has been talking nonstop for twenty minutes.  But they will make the roiling stop after a fashion.

I still didn't dare to finish my coffee.  Nor did I think it wise to eat my lunchtime apple.  (the kid who didn't have lunch money was happy to eat it for me so that all worked out...)  I'm not big on lunch anyway.  Lunch just takes up time better spent dealing with the fact that I had my entire class in for detention because one of the little blighters keeps locking the classroom door and I feel that they should be as annoyed by this as I.

I felt pretty good by the time I was heading home.  Good enough, in fact, to attempt the afternoon workout.  If you are going to eat poorly chosen things all weekend, I guess this is one of the prices you must pay.  I also flew in the face of The Curse and ripped back on the dishcloth (with sleeves) before The Dark Forces could realize that I was back at it again.  I'm not going to attempt any further knitting at this point.  But it is ready when things settle down a bit.

I was also pretty much starving, having eaten nothing all day and still riding that stupid exercise bike for an hour.  Dinner involved the actual use of the oven and the chopping of stuff.  I ate like a trucker instead of simply heating up a Hot Pocket.  There probably wouldn't have been much time for re-knitting anyway.  

To give you some idea of my level of starvation, I should tell you that I ate two vegetables and one fruit as part of this Festival Of Foodstuffs.  Seriously.  Actual vegetables.  I'll just let you sit with that for a minute...

But I don't think any of it would have been possible without those sweet, little pink tablets.  We honor the pink tablets.  Even if they were a no-name, off-brand version of the pink tablets.  They saved Sheepie's dignity and the shoes of a student who can't go to assemblies.

Maybe I should knit the next dishcloth in pink.  Sort of like a tribute or something...

SA

14 comments:

Mel said...

Just be sure to remind HM that what goes in pink doesn't come out pink. It might cause some distress otherwise.

trek said...

You weren't planning to share pictures of a dishcloth knit in that color pink, were you?

Glad you are feeling better.

kmkat said...

Whew. Another triumph for The Pink Stuff. We go for the liquid at our house, but I am thinking you are darned smart to carry some pink chewables.

Kath said...

All hail the pink stuff! It's saved me on many occasions, only actual food poisoning will get past it.

Lynne said...

Don't know about pink stuff but maybe this will help: you've been awarded.

Donna Lee said...

I also carry remedies for lots of life's little ills (bic pens for emergency tracheotomies, swiss army knife for said trache). I am always grateful when I can reach into my purse and pull out a little pill feel better. Better living through chemicals. And I keep a can of coke in my fridge for emergency belly issues.

Lorraine said...

Hopefully, dinner didn't include the 6 month old broccoli. Which might cause the food poisoning that gets past the pink pills.

Mia said...

sometimes it's just plain good to eat like a trucker :) Especially when the weather turns cold. Be well Sheepie.

Karen said...

Vegetables? You ate vegetables. Excellent. They can only help with the neck on the dishcloth.

Cursing Mama said...

Am always surprised when I hear of pink stuff working - I have not been so lucky. However there is another "kind" that works pretty well for me that is not pink.

However - knowing that you ate fruit and vegetables that involved chopping and the oven alerts my senses to know that you really aren't all that healthy. In fact you may be delirious.

Julie said...

You ate fruits and vegetables? That doesn't sound right - who ARE you and what have you done with the Sheep??????

April said...

What are these fruits and vegetables you speak of? I had a peanut butter and banana sandwich for dinner. And chips!

Hope you feel better today, nothing worse than rumbly tumbly. :(

Yarnhog said...

As the mother of children who only get bad bellies in the middle of the night, I bow down to the pink tablets.

Knitting Linguist said...

Pink tablets are the bomb. But may I respectfully submit that that particular color of pink isn't very flattering to many people in the form of a "dishcloth"?