Monday, November 03, 2008

I'm Positive That I'm Fairly Certain

At some point during the festivities on Saturday, Mommy Sheep reminded me that I should set my clocks back on Sunday.  I don't actually recall just when she said this.  It was a very busy day, after all.  I think I was breathing freely, though.  Hence, I tend to believe that it was sometime before donning my bridesmaid dress.  

I was also a little preoccupied with thoughts of how I should really avoid doing that thing where you get the back of your long, flowing bridesmaid skirt tucked into your panty hose and then stroll about confidently thinking that all is well with the world.  I have many fears.  That one ranks right up there in the top five...

At any rate, I was grateful for the memo.  I normally see something somewhere, be it on television or the internet, making me aware of my living in a world where the clocks have to be changed twice a year in accordance with the law of the land.  I used to enjoy Daylight Savings and the surprises it brings us twice per year.  A little change of pace is a good thing every now and again.

These days, however, I am less than thrilled by it.  I am rapidly becoming a grumpy old Sheepie who likes things to always stay the same.  I am afraid of change.  New fangled contraptions make me want to launch into lengthy speeches about how we did things back in the Good Old Days.  I am wont to point my gnarled fingers at anyone I deem to be one of The Young Folks Today and berate their inability to appreciate the simpler things.  

It is not the sort of thing I ever thought would happen to me.  I sort of envisioned myself as more of a Hip Oldster...

I did not set the clocks back when I returned home on Saturday night, though.  I was too tired to wander around looking for clocks.  I seem to have a great deal of them and my feet were sore from the cute bridesmaid shoes.  Plus, I kind of wondered if maybe I had heard wrong.  Surely I would have seen something in the paper if it was really time be setting the clocks back, right?

Wrong.  When I awoke, the first thing I did was check the little drugstore clock that I bought a few years ago.  It receives a magic signal from a mystical land where the time is always correct as long as you remember to put batteries in it.  And the witch-powered clock was an hour earlier than the one I have to set using manual labor.  A glance at the computer clock (which is not magical, but just as accurate) confirmed this.  I dutifully went about setting all the clocks I could find in accordance with the rules of living in America.

Done and done.  I was glad that I had all this taken care of.  Now I didn't have to worry about it the next day.  I would be on time and ready to go, free from the burden of incorrect clocks.  

Except that I just couldn't seem to trust it.  The light streaming in the windows was so very wrong this morning.  I normally leave for work under cover of darkness.  And it made me wonder if I had made a horrible judgement error with all that clock setting.  What if I was actually a week off?  What if I was right, but no one else got the memo?  What if they all thought it was really 7:00 in the morning and not 6:00 as I thought?  I'd still be late by community standards!  

No amount of checking the news, the computer clock or the digital display at The Convenience Store Where They Call You Honey And Sweetie And You Sort Of Like That would ease my fears.  On one hand, I knew I was right.  But in that deep, dark secret place where the fear lives...not so much.

The amount of time I spent double checking clocks and stopping at stores for gas I did not need made me late to work.  The fact that I was right about the time meant nothing.  And I suspect that it will continue to mean nothing for the remainder of the week.

They should probably put out a pamphlet of some sort.  Some of us will need to know where we can find support groups to deal with the trauma of Daylight Savings Time.  Or we will need to flee to other lands where the time remains constant and we won't have to be fiddling with various buttons in the car at 70 mph so that the clock will stop telling us we are an hour late for school.

On a happier note, I used my extra hour well yesterday.  I think that, if you are going to spend a week hopelessly confused about the actual time, you should have something to show for it.  I was moved by the gift of those sixty minutes to drag out my old friend, Mr. Spinning Wheel.  Yes, it is true.  The spinning mojo has returned!  I may not be able to find my way into the classroom and teach the children in a timely manner, but I will have yarn, by gosh!!!




Frankly, I'm surprised I even remembered how...


I'll probably even get a little more done tonight, if the stars align just right.  Then I'll try to get to bed nice and early.  I have an early date with a voting booth tomorrow, you see.  I don't want to be late for casting my ballot and being a part of the process we call Democracy!  I've even gone online to check and see when the polls open.

I am going to assume that they know about Daylight Savings over there...

SA

9 comments:

trek said...

Or you could move to Arizona.

Kath said...

Can't comment on the DST issue but I can tell you that I comprehend your fears of a public display of undergarments due to skirt malfunction. Not that I've done it (yet) but I recently stopped a woman with a skirt malfunction just after she exited the restroom, a mere 4-5 feet down the hallway. The look of gratitude on her face was profound and moving.

Mel said...

Of course, I've opined before that Maine should just join the Maritimes in Atlantic Time Zone, since we're so far at the front of the Eastern zone that it gets dark here mid-afternoon this time of year. Then we could just do away with DST, too, and come out pretty much even steven, though David says it'd be a bitch to remember the time change crossing into NH 4.5 months out of the year.

I worry, too about kilt malfunctions, and take care to make sure everything's in its proper place before I go into any public space.

Karen said...

Oh that is the main reason I avoid dresses and skirts. I have a hard enough time remembering to put the zipper up in my pants.
When we lived in Caribou it was nearly dark at 3 in the afternoon during the winter. I could never get used to that.
The yarn your spinning is lovely.

crzjane said...

I really don't like the time change. I'm use to bumbling around in the dark in the morning, not on my way home from work. I don't like to drive in the dark. Can't see. I'm getting old and grumpy.

Knitting Linguist said...

And here I thought I was the only one who lived with the fear that I'm the only one changing my clock. At least this week I had two days to adjust before I have to face my classes tomorrow, so I'm pretty sure that the rest of the city is on the same time I am. Now I just have to figure out where my polling place is...

Julie said...

There was an incredible lack of news about falling back this year, wasn't there. Even my Daddy didn't call to remind me; he always calls to remind me.

Mia said...

oh you're so right about that light feeling "wrong". And so does getting home in pitch darkness.

or like trek said.. we could move to arizona :)

Lynne said...

Don't move to NSW [Australia] - we have daylight savings here too! This morning it was quite warm and I had to remind myself that the sun thought it was actually an hour earlier than the NSW-powers-that-be said it was!