Monday, November 12, 2007

Higher Calling

Dearest Friends And Family,

I hope that this little note finds you well and that you are enjoying the start of the holiday season. 'Tis such a lovely and festive time and one that certainly deserves the best that each of us has to offer.

Sadly, I have tragic news for you all. I hope that you will find it in your hearts to understand that sometimes a Sheep's life is steered towards another path, a higher path, if you will. I know that this news comes late and, for that, I apologize deeply. However, when one is faced with clear signs regarding one's destiny one cannot simply ignore it and go blithely forth as if nothing has changed.

As my nearest and dearest, many of you are more knowledgeable in the ways of the wool than the average person. Whether you like it or not, you understand the purpose of sheep, how it is that one can be swift and use a swift at the same time and can utter the word, "niddy noddy" without giggling. And, while this knowledge base may give you some level of understanding with regard to this new state of affairs, I fear that its full import may be beyond your ken. I will do my best to help you to understand. But, at day's end, it is only your kind natures that will allow you to let go of tradition and release me from promises made in good faith.

For you see, there will be a dearth of handknitted gifts this holiday season. I know this is a blow. I cannot begin to imagine just how difficult it will be for you to accept this new state of affairs. It pains me to even think of it, really. I know how much you all look forward to your ill-fitting hats, your scarves that come with elaborate explanations regarding the inconsistencies in pattern and my hour long dissertations on how one should care for wool. I shudder to think how we shall all spend Christmas day now...there will be hours to fill without my lecture schedule. And I've given you precious little time to plan for the day.

I couldn't feel worse if I tried.

But, dear friends and family, the times have changed. I have come to a crossroads in my fiber career. I only wish that this eagerly anticipated accomplishment had happened in January...but it didn't. The day that every fiber artist longs for, works for, and will spend vast sums on fiber for has come. We must accept this.

I have spun laceweight. There. I said it. I have reached that Holy Grail of spinnerdom and, while I find joy in breaking the gauge barrier, there is sadness, too. No more will I have time to knit your precious holiday gifts. There is no hope for the oddly shaped hats and items for which you cannot for the life of you find a name or use. They will not be done. For I have spun laceweight and must now accept my place among those other great spinners who have made very, very skinny yarn. It is my life's mission.

Note: The fact that I wasn't actually trying to spin laceweight is immaterial. I did it and we need not waste time by going into the whole process so deeply. I am a lace-spinner and that's all there is to it. Let's not be nitpicky...this is difficult enough without focusing on those pesky sorts of details.

Where was I? Oh, yes...my ascending to a higher level and whatnot. I know I mentioned the path...and I did the Holy Grail comparison. Did I do the part where I mention the Secret Laceweight Spinners Handshake but refuse to reveal it? No? Oh, now I'm all messed up..

At any rate, the whole point of the matter is this: I have found my spinning mojo and I can't seem to stop. It appears that once you have spun teeny-weeny yarn, you need to spin more. And more. This is going to cut into the knitting time, I fear. I had a whole day off today for Veterans' Day and didn't pick up the needles once. It is all spinning all the time.




I also didn't get the laundry done or the kitchen cleaned...but who cares? This is my calling, for crying out loud!
It seems that once one makes that most sacred of transitions from spinning to Spinning, one has a responsibility to the wool and one must make a sacrifice or two. You still have to feed the cats and clean the toilets, though. Spinning laceweight does not come with maid service. I was a bit surprised by that. I have been dreaming of this day for so very long and expected, if not a whole bunch of handmaidens and whatnot, at least a couple of adoring apprentices. That would have been handy.
They could have maybe helped out with the knitting of the oddly shaped hats...
SA

21 comments:

Julie said...

You are a lace spinning Goddess! I bow to your greatness, Oh Sheepie One.

April said...

Wow. Double wow. You're the first lace spinner I've ever known. Aren't you glad your higher calling didn't turn out to be popsicle stick art? I know I am.

Yarnhog said...

You have indeed attained the holy grail of spinning, and I salute (and envy) you! I managed some sport weight recently. I thought I had laceweight when I calculated the yardage and the weight, and for a whole day I was ecstatic. And then I realized that I had measured in feet and recorded in yards, and alas, I did not have 1765 yards to eight ounces after all. It was a painful blow.

Rabbitch said...

I understand completely. I have spun the hair of the mo, and spun it very finely -- much like the grinding of the mills of the gods or something, I suspect.

My family is going to have to learn to forage in the woods. There will be no more cooking or shopping (except for fleece) Chez Lapin.

trek said...

Agreeing with April on the popsicle sticks.

I'm not planning to knit Christmas presents this year, either. I've got two shawls, two socks, a scarf and a napkin in progress and I need a warm hat for the cold walking days to come - who has time for Christmas present knitting?

Anne said...

I knew we were observing the onset of greatness! I too salute (and envy) you. And think how you'll be able to immobilize the tech guy, stray zombies, and anyone else (have you got a little list?) in beautiful laceweight, should you so desire ....

Beth said...

I'm sure your family and friends will totally understand. Except now they might start asking for shawls and other lacy garments for Christmas.

Kath said...

We're not worthy, we're not worthy...(genuflecting)

But can you say nostepinne with a straight face?

DS said...

I'm okay with your decision. I already have 5 ill-fitting knit hats.

DS

Marianne said...

What?!? No Spinning Housecleaning Faeries magically appearing with The Spinning? aaaahhhhhhhhhk!

ok...that was certainly a blow... you'd think they'd just come with the territory, eh?

Tipping my ill fitting hat to You, Oh Laceweight Spinning Sheepie!

Bobbi said...

LOL! Wow that is awesome. Lace weight yarn!

You do realize that this means you'll have to knit with lace weight though right? There will be yarn overs and knit 5 togethers, shawls and scarves that take months to complete! I hope you're prepared for all the repercussions of this! :)

Cursing Mama said...

No Way!
Will you be gifting bobbins of lace weight then?

Anonymous said...

Will you be giving handspun lace weight as gifts this year??
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

tenacious knitter said...

Hysterical! For a moment I wondered if you were going to wander off into the woods, never to be heard of again. Congrats on the lace-spinning! Alas, I have not been called to spin lace (and think I never will), so I've already started to prepare my Christmas Day lecture series :)

Donna Lee said...

Not being a spinner, I take it that this is a really hard thing to do? I mean, spinning all by itself is impressive and I am in awe of all you spinners. I have been feeling a vague twitchiness in that direction but have been able to ignore it so far...

Helen said...

I had this moment of fear when I thought the sad news was that you were going to step down from blogging. I was very sad.
I'm now not sad.
I'm envious. I have not achieved laceweight....
someday....
someday

Jeanne said...

As there are still two UFOs from last Christmas' attempt at handmade holidays, I am also stepping down. In fact, I'm not even BUYING gifts this year. Instead, I'm choosing to reflect on the true meaning of the holiday. With or without laceweight. Yours, of which I am envious.

(didja like that grammatically incorrect sentence?)

Knitting Linguist said...

Elves. I think you have to apply for the housecleaning elves when you hit Laceweight Status. They're nasty little buggers, but they know how to clean a toilet. And they mostly leave the cats alone. The yarn is gorgeous, and you are, indeed, a Laceweight Spinning Goddess. As for the Christmas presents, well, dude. Folks just need to learn to deal.

catsmum said...

I'm glad that Daddy Sheep is able to be so sanguine about the lack of ill fitting headgear.

Cathy said...

lovely!!

kmkat said...

So this laceweight spinning thing is quite the big deal then? (said in a Minnesota accent worthy of the movie Fargo)

I think you have to submit a sample of the yarn in order to get the housecleaning faeries. Just send it to me -- a few hundred yards should be enough.