WNBP With A Side Of Antibacterial Handsoap

The histamine reactions kick in with regularity over here.  Sometimes I feel almost human.  Then I start sneezing and it all just goes downhill.  My eyes swelled up about half an hour ago thanks to a particularly nasty flare up of this thing so innocently dubbed, "The Common Cold."  I tell you, if it weren't time for The Wednesday Night Bullet Post, I fear I would not be able to proceed.  There is no way I could produce a coherent paragraph.

But it is Wednesday.  So I don't have to.  I'll just stuff a tissue up my ever-dripping right nostril and go for the highlights.  And yes.  I meant for that visual to hit you right between the eyes.  I am miserable and see no need for anyone else to be happy at this point...

*That's not true.  I don't want you to be miserable.  Now I feel badly.  Just stop thinking about me with a tissue up my nose.  I didn't mean that...

*My entire teaching day was punctuated with very mature phrases.  I really do think I rose above my infirmity and took the high road.

*During Math Class:  "You guys all hate me, don't you?  You planned this.  You all sat around for days and days plotting against me with your germ warfare tactics.  You are evil, vicious little teenagers!"

*During Language Arts Class:  "The world does TOO revolve around me!  I am sick!  So it revolves around me even more than it did before!!!"

*During Science Class:  Oh, great!  Now I have a nosebleed!  Way to go, you little plague-carriers!  You aren't satisfied with infecting me.  Now you want me to bleed to death right here in the middle of the classroom!"

*Still During Science Class:  "I am so totally NOT being overly dramatic!"

*Not my most witty banter today.  

*Actually, that prize goes to the kid who said, "You know, for a therapist, you sure do seem to need some counseling..."

*In point of fact, I am not a therapist.  I opted to not do the clinical portion of my degree.  

*I did not tell him this, though.  

*Too busy being horrified by his insight.

*I need to wind another skein of yarn before I can continue with "the dishcloth" (with sleeves).  

*I can't seem to bring myself to do that.  I am too busy sneezing and informing the entire world of their responsibilities regarding my attentional needs.

*Plus I can't open my eyes right now.  

*Maybe I'll work on the sock...

*We had an outside entity come in and do achievement testing with random 8th graders today to assess student progress.

*This is important and the results will determine our school's overall performance rating.

*I spoke with at least 5 kids who informed me that they thought the test was stupid and that they just colored in bubbles.

*I pulled the tissue from my right nostril long enough to tell them that they might want to remember this conversation the next time the legislature was debating extending the school year due to low test scores.

*When you are sick, you should wash your hands.  You should do this a lot.

*But I can't use my bathroom sink.

The drain seems to be blocked.

I'll give it some time to clear itself and then I'm getting the plunger.  

I gotta go.  I need a new tissue.  I should probably also check the sink and see if I am allowed to use it yet.  I haven't washed my hands in a while and have probably left germy ookiness all over the manse.  Hope that your Wednesday has treated you well and that you have spent less time trying to breathe freely or pry your eyeballs open than I.  

And we are also hoping that the next post finds your faithful Sheep a little less on the whiny side...

SA

I Doh. Idz By Fault.

The time:  9:30 a.m.

The Place: Ms. Sheep's classroom/Small group language arts lesson.

Ms. Sheep is working with a The Kid Who Has Been Coming To School With A Cold For Nigh On A Month (let us call him Booger Boy, why don't we?) She is attempting to help him with his Persuasive Writing assignment.  Having overslept this morning, she is behind schedule and out of sorts.  Still, she does her duty as an educator and attempts to explain (for the fortieth time) what she needs this child to do before she starts hearing that weird crackling sound from her brain again.  Things always seem to go badly after the crackling sound starts up...

Booger Boy:  That was a great explanation, Ms. Sheep.  You are the best!  Now, if you could just say it one more time, I think I'll have it down pat!

Ms. Sheep:  I dib up...

BB:  Huh?

MS:  I dib up!  Diz iz dot workin...

BB:  Boy, Ms. Sheep.  You sure do sound stuffy.  It's hard to understand you.  I almost thought you said something about giving up...

MS:  (lays her head on the table and whimpers a little bit)

BB:  You know what?  I think you might have a cold.  I know what that feels like.  I've had one for a month now, in case you hadn't noticed.

MS:  Doh.  I do dot hab a code.  You are bisdakin.  I'b fide.

BB:  I dunno, Ms. Sheep.  You sound pretty clogged up, there.  And I think that The Husky Redheaded Kid Who Reminds You Of Your Cat sneezed on the table right where you are sitting like...fifty times yesterday!

(Husky Redheaded kid waves cheerily from the other side of the room.  BB waves back.  Ms. Sheep does not.)

MS:  I do DOT hab a code.  Stob sayin' dat!  I am dot geddin' a code right before bacation!!!

BB:  Ok.  Whatever you say.  

MS:  Dad's ride, whadebber I say!!!

BB:  (Wipes his dripping nose with his crusty sleeve and looks thoughtful)  You know...I sort of can't help but feel like this is a little bit my fault.

MS:  (Lays her head on the table again and remains this way for the rest of the class)

I didn't contradict him.  It's not like he would have understood me anyway.  Yet even I know that this is not entirely his boogery fault.  Sure, he was among those who brought this plague unto me and there is no denying that the Husky Redheaded Kid played a part in all this.  But I have to admit that I tempted fate one too many times and that I am now paying the piper.

I've flirted with several colds this school year.  Each time the symptoms began to manifest, I wondered if I was soon to be struck down.  I never was.  I fought off each and every sniffle like some kind of Ninja Warrior.  I couldn't be brought down.  It was like I was made of steel or something.

And I got cocky.

I began to brag to anyone who would listen about how amazing my immune system had become.  Clearly, I must be some kind of superhero.  By the latter stages of my delusional phase, I was tossing out words like, "immortal" and " God-like."  

Bad move.

Karma heard me.  Karma is always lurking around somewhere and I tend to forget that.  Hence, I am often ambushed when fate decides to smack me around a bit.  I can't even get mad at Karma.  I asked for it.  And I really should have known better.

So now I'm all stuffy and incapable of pronouncing words key to the running of a classroom.  Booger Boy and The Husky Redheaded Kid are still producing vast amounts of goo and probably leaving it all over the place for me to find.  I suppose I can still hope that I will beat this one back as quickly as I have the other infestations of ookiness....

But I don't have a good feeling about it.  I'm probably going to have a cold.  I am probably going to have it while I am teaching that stupid Safety Procedures class on Friday.  I will probably still have it while I am starting my vacation.  It's best to accept that, I think.

That's OK.  I suppose it could be worse.  We've already covered most of the material for the upcoming class and we will definitely end early that day.  And I didn't have much planned for the vacation week anyway.  Mostly naps and knitting.  That is stuff you can do with a cold.  In fact, it is a nice way to justify all the napping and knitting.  I have a few social engagements and will keep them all.  But mostly I'll nap and no one can tell me that I am wasting my vacation by doing so.  

Even Karma shouldn't have any problem with that...I hope.

SA

Speaking Frankly

There are two things you need to know.

The First Thing is this:  I may be teaching school this week like a good little educator but next week, I will not.  February Vacation starts on Friday.

The Second Thing is this:  No one has left me any comments of a hurtful, mean-spirited or snarky nature.  While my tale may make you think that I am need of comfort and support, rest assured, I do not.  The readers were, as always, of a kind and well-intentioned nature.

There.  You are all caught up and ready to proceed.

Maine releases all its little children from the educational system for one week in February every single year.  They've done this since before forever and I'm certain that there was some reason for it when the idea was conceived.  It was probably a very logical scheduling decision at the time, but now it is really more of a tradition.  

It can be kind of a pain given that we only just got the kids back on track after the holiday break in December/January.  Now we will have to do it all over again.  I do not look forward to that part of the schedule and there will be no further respites until April.

But I also happen to like my vacation time and will take it where I can get it.  I don't teach for the time off, but I'm not so much of a hypocrite that I'll deny myself the pleasure of a week's vacation.

I've always liked the February break.  I'm not sure just why, but it always seems to work out for me.  Last year, however, I didn't really mention it on the blog.  I'd had a few school cancellations due to snow before that and began to get the sense that people were a little tired of my crowing.  Nothing definitive...but there was a certain "tone" in the comments that led me to believe I should enjoy my vacation without rubbing it in so much.

Last year, I had a fairly easy job with a small caseload and a principal who liked to take the burden of management from the shoulder's of his hard-working staff.  Then I was transferred to The Bad Job At The Middle School That No One Else Would Take And Where I Am Expected To Perform Miracles While They Dump New Students On Me At An Ever Increasing Rate.  I don't take sick days unless it is an emergency because the amount of work it takes to fix everything that went wrong in my absence is insane.  I have a pile of paperwork dating back to September awaiting my attention and no real hope of ever getting it done.  Every time I try, some enterprising teen finds a new and exciting way to wreak havoc or inspire an easily manipulated classmate to do it for him.  

The phone rings incessantly and it is never someone telling me that I have won the Teacher Of The Year award.  It is usually somebody who wants me to come deal with someone who is doing something to someone else that no one wants to see done.  Or they've starting dumping milk off the third floor stairwell again.  

For all that, I do have a great deal of affection for my students.  They each have some quality that I find endearing.  I see hope for them.  Even when they are insisting that they are most certainly not the ones who wrote those creative "suggestions" all over the lockers and gesturing with the magic markers still clenched in their fists for emphasis, I still mostly like them.

And if I want to maintain that level of devotion, I am going to need a vacation.  It is a simple, biological fact.  A girl can only take so much and still feel the love.  This break is in the best interest of everyone concerned.

I find that I am now perfectly comfortable telling you that I have a vacation next week.  I feel that it is something you should know.  I also suspect that you guys, having had to listen to me blather on about The Bad Job At The Middle School, might also enjoy a break in the action for a week or so.

I will try to be cool about it, though.  While I am very much looking forward to having a week off to spin up more of that merino and knit some more on the current WIP, I promise I won't revel to the point of annoyance.  I'll enjoy my vacation, but still remember that the work routine is but a week away once the break starts.  I need this vacation, but know that I am lucky to have chosen a career that allows me to indulge in them.  I'm not trying to make anyone green with envy, honest.

At least not over my vacation days.  Of course, the fact that Mommy and Daddy Sheep just sent me a gi-normous Valli-time is fair game for jealousy.  Especially when you consider the fact that this card contained a fat gift certificate to Panera.  With a week off and the means to indulge in some hi-carb foodstuffs, I think I might just be the luckiest Sheepie on the planet.

One week.  That's all.  I just have to make it one week...

SA

Nothing Is What It Seems

Sometimes you just have to sit back and enjoy the inconsistencies.  Don't get me wrong.  Predictability is very nice.  There is nothing quite like having things follow the agenda.  When the trains run on time, we are all happier people.  There is a certain comfort to be found in listening to a familiar playlist.  And who doesn't feel a sense of power when ordering a #12 without even having to glance at the menu?  It's nice.  

But life is all about the random and we'd better just get used to it.  If nothing else, it is not boring.  You have to have the right attitude about these things.  If I wasn't able to do that, however would I begin to find meaning in life now that The Convenience Store Where They Call You Honey And Sweetie And You Sort Of Like That has been sold?  It's been over a month since this most unholy of transactions took place and I am only just getting the hang of going in there only to be called "ma'am."  Thankfully, one staff person remained to keep the weekday, early morning shift going so I can still catch a, "Sweetie" if I stop in before heading to work.  Otherwise, it is all business down there now.  

It makes my Sunday morning Mountain Dew Run a little depressing, that's for sure.  Who wants to be called, "ma'am" at 9:00 on a Sunday morning?

The weather has also decided to surprise us today.  After days and days of temperatures well below freezing, Mother Nature threw us a curve ball.  According to my car, it was 40 degrees (4 and change on the Celsius scale)  at The Convenience Store Where They Used To Call Me Honey And Sweetie And I Really Miss That.  Later, my computer informed me that it was up to 50 degrees. (10 c.) Very weird.  But a pleasant surprise.  I even had a window open for a while at one point.

Oh, and how about Zombi 2?  That's not exactly what it seems either.  Of course, I knew that going in so there was no real confusion on my part.  It's a classic and one I'd wanted to add to the Zombie Reference Library for a while.  I'm guessing that most people would probably think it is a sequel what with the "2" being in the title and whatnot.  I'm also guessing that most people don't really care all that much since the thing was on back order since December 30th and only just arrived last week.  It's not one of those DVDs kept in great quantities and easily snagged for shipment by the warehouse staff over at Amazon.  

But this Italian gem is not a sequel.  The implied sequencing was added later to capitalize on the success of the films coming out of the U.S. at the time.  Hence, it lives under several titles.  To complete the cycle of confusion, it is one of those magnificent movies that has an international cast.  Half of them are speaking English, the rest needed to have the dialogue dubbed in for American audiences.  It is a thing of beauty if you happen to find that kind of stuff aesthetically pleasing.

It is also a fabulous zombie movie and a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon while you recover from being called, "ma'am" at the place where you used to be more of a "sweetie."

In keeping with this tradition of misdirection, I knit many, many rows on the current WIP while I watched the living dead lay waste to a lovely tropical isle.  The "dishcloth" (with sleeves) grew by leaps and bounds and I credit my progress to having refused to identify its true nature.  Much like a convenience store that only looks like my store on the outside or a movie that says it's a "two" when it's really a "one," the whole thing just works better if I switch things up a bit.  We all know how The Dark Forces feel about my knitting.  They leave me alone if they think I am cranking out things like garter stitch scarves or plain socks.  The minute they get wind of my trying anything more ambitious, they get all smite-y on me.  Everyone is happier if I just keep up the pretense.  

Satisfactorily vague photo.  It could be anything, really.  

But for the time being, it is still a "dishcloth."  Let's just say we are doing it for marketing purposes.  When the time comes to be more truthful, we'll deal with it.  For now, we just enjoy the excitement that comes from a sneaky change of pace.  Even the "dishcloth" seems happy with this arrangement.  That makes sense since it hasn't had to hear me cussing it out in a while. 

Heck, I think I even heard it call me, "sweetie" at one point early in the afternoon.  But that might have been wishful thinking on my part...

SA

Loose, Dangly Ends All Over The Place

I think I may be a little sleep deprived.  That is a sad thing to say on a Saturday, but it is what it is.  I had to snooze around 45 cats last night and I am no longer spry enough to spend my sleeping hours contorted into a ball that will fit into the two square feet allotted to me.  I could pull it off back when I sacked out in a cradle.  Now?  Not so much.

45 is an exaggeration.  I don't have 45 cats.  I have 2 cats.  But it felt like 45...

Hence, today's post is more along the lines of "sub-categories."  It's not quite as random as the Wednesday Night Bullet Post, but closer than I care to admit.  It's really all I can do to keep my eyes open, let alone follow a train of thought for more than a minute at a time.  If I can keep to a series of headings, I'll call it good for today.

#1 You Get What You Pay For

Except when you don't.  Is anyone else out there ready to fling their laptops into their version of The Dumpster Where The Zombies Live over the Writer's Market website?  Good Lord!  I'm actually probably more understanding over this than others must be.  Firstly, it isn't really their fault and they are doing a fairly good job of keeping their subscribers updated on their server woes.  Secondly, I am really just a person who likes to write stuff down and enjoys having a place to keep it all organized.  If I were a person who wrote stuff down for a living and liked having a place to help keep me in printer cartridges and black turtlenecks, I'd probably be far more irked.  

Still, I can't promise I won't go right over the edge the next time I log in and see the words, "We are sorry for the inconvenience..."

#2 Apparently, Interfering With Sleep Is Quite Exhausting:

I managed to burrow under my awesome Berber fleece blankie and catch a nap this afternoon.  It was short, but much needed since my bed has been taken over by the furry residents here at the manse.  The couch is small, but at least one of the little boogers still managed to find her way into that nook behind my knees.  The other one, also completely wiped out by The Great Bed Coup Of Aught Nine, took to the nappin' basket.

Doesn't he look peaceful?  And small?  He is not small.  He is the size of a double bed and don't let him fool you.

The other one had the gall to look irritated when I got up from my nap.  A thousand pardons, your majesty...

I really shouldn't complain.  It was cold last night.  Very, very cold.  I probably wouldn't have survived without that extra layer of cat to keep me warm.  Plus I hear it is a bad idea to sleep when you think you might be in danger of freezing to death.  Maybe I'm being too hard on the roommates...

#3 Vegetarians, Look Away Now And Try Not To Hate Me

The bulk of my diet is actually pretty much veg.  But I'll never really be able to turn that corner.  You can always tell when I try because I end up getting sick.  I know that there are all sorts of ways I can get a complete protein without consuming flesh, but I don't follow through on that very well.  I figure it is best for me to be a Conscientious Consumer Of Meat.  I eat what I think I need and keep the kill ratio to a minimum.  It seems to work.

That said, I've been feeling a bit punk lately and that is usually a sign that red meat is needed.  I recently have been grinding my own hamburg since my mature years have been characterized by a deep and abiding fear of all things bacterial.  I have a handy attachment for my KitchenAid mixer which grinds a piece of chuck in less time than it takes to tell it.

It is also capable of producing cow mush if you get overly enthusiastic with the grinding.  And cow mush, when placed in  one of those grilling machines, does very weird things.  When all is said and done, you have very small bits of brown cardboard stuck to your grill plates and no sign of the patty you put in. 

 Note to self: Sometimes once through the grinder is enough.  Even if it is kind of fun to watch stuff squish out those little holes...

#4 I Have Issues With Commitment

I didn't have much time for knitting while I was teaching that workshop yesterday.  It also didn't help that people kept trying to chat with me at lunch while I was attempting to cast on the right number of stitches.  But cast on I did and a wee bit of cuff was produced before one of my more responsible co-instructors called an end to the lunch break and forced us all back to the grindstone.

It's not much, but it is a victory nonetheless.  I had to count those stupid stitches three times...

Now I am on the horns of a dilemma.  This is looking to be a pretty fine sock.  And I can knit socks rather well.  Socks are my friends.  They behave for me.  I can pretty much predict the path a sock will take.

It all makes me want to turn away from that other project.  You know the one I mean.  The Dishcloth?  The one with sleeves?  That one has all sorts of potential problems going for it.  The yarn supply is limited, a weird hole has already manifested itself and this is all well in advance of the Dark Forces That Hate It When I Knit Things With Sleeves doing what they like to do when they see me making progress on these kinds of projects.  It is hard to keep your vows when you know the relationship is going to be a bumpy ride or, at worst, not work out at all.

I've stayed the course, though.  Five rows were added to The Dishcloth (with sleeves) today before I finally gave in to the urge to nap.  Maybe, with some counseling, we'll find our way through this rough patch.

#5  When In Doubt, Avoid.

Cats taking over the bed, weird meat-related happenings, the desire to cheat on my "dishcloth..." It's all pretty overwhelming.  Sometimes a girl needs to just forget.  I'm only human.  Diversions can keep you sane when the world gets wacky.  

Merino is always good for a distraction, I've found.

This is never going to be the yarn that makes the blogging world rush to the comments to tell me how amazing I am with the spinning.  No one is going to wax poetic over how consistently I treadle out a piece of string over this one.  It's gonna be a lumpy, bumpy sort of yarn and I'm very much OK with that.  The alternative would be more carding and I don't feel like carding this any further.  The fleece from whence it came was rough.  It took some taming.  It would almost be disrespectful to try and make it perfect.  It needs to reflect a little bit of its original personality.

And even if I didn't feel that way, I'd still find a way to feel that way because I am not going to card this again.  So there...

Yup.  We are a little wander-y today.  But I covered some fiber-related stuff so I'm good.  Now I have to start thinking about dinner and that could get complicated.  I still have one of those cow-goo things in the fridge and I hate to waste it.  But there is also half a pizza leftover from last night and, much like socks, I know that I can make that into something useful.  

I don't think anyone out there is going to really have to think too hard in order to predict how this dilemma is going to play itself out.

SA

Take Your Wins Where You Can Get 'Em

I somehow managed to oversleep just a bit this morning.  Not by much.  But, when you are on a tight schedule in the early hours, ten minutes might as well be thirty.  However, with great hustling and bustling (not to mention a goodly amount of hand flapping and cursing) I was able to exit the manse on time.  I even had a cup of coffee and some breakfast foods in hand.

-===================[  

The above line was typed during the editing phase of the blogging process by a certain feline who likes to "help."  I leave it for your consideration.  I have no idea what he was trying to add, but it was probably important.  And I defy you to find another blog post out there tonight that was partially typed by a cat.

Back to the regularly scheduled blogging:

My car should have been glad to see me.  It should have welcomed me with open doors and whatever cars do when they want to smile.  Instead, it decided to tell me that it was -6 degrees outside and that seemed snarky to me.  I didn't need an on board computer telling me that it was cold.  I already knew that.  

There were any number of things that did not go quite as planned once the day got started.  The kids were not exactly at their most delightful and this made those of us on the teaching end of the equation grumpy at a proportional level.  The phone rang in my office incessantly and I missed half of my preparatory period due to my needing to watch a student.  It appeared that no one is on board with the fact that I have to be out tomorrow for another one of those stupid Safety Procedures classes and that planning is kind of crucial if a teacher is going to be out.  

By the time one of the social workers dropped by to discuss a phone call I'd made to her yesterday, I was telling the three million students who were in dire need of answers that, "Mommy was busy and that they should go ask Daddy..."  She could only say that she failed to understand how I got up every morning to do this job.  

It's not always easy and sometimes it's cold.  But you get a win every now and again.  Mine came during morning bus duty when, for the second time in recent memory, I was on time while my duty-mates were late.  Last time it was the assistant principal who witnessed and commented upon my great dedication.  This morning, it was the actual-honest-to-god principal who got to see me doing such a magnificent job.  

I was humble about it and even made a point of telling him that I'd been late before, myself.  I'm good that way.  I further informed him that my absent colleagues were of the highest calibre and that they were most certainly off rescuing kittens from trees or something along those lines.  I am not only good...I am generous.

I also hope that they will do the same for me 'cuz I'm probably due for another late arrival in the near future.

I don't suppose I'll be able to reward myself with much knitting, though.  As I'm the instructor for tomorrow's training, I probably won't get in much needle work.  But I'm still going to skein up some sock yarn and pack some needles.  You never know what you can get done during the lunch break.  I also don't really have to study the Very Important Instructor's Binder since I just taught this class a few weeks ago.  I'm all set with the material so I can knit tonight without guilt.

The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty is celebrating by living large.

Um...that would be very large.  Embarrassingly large.  

Actually, that picture is sort of a lie.  It's from last month.  The AGK in question is actually sitting snuggled right up next to me on the couch.  Do you have any idea how long it's taken me to convince him to do this?  He wasn't much of a lap cat when he first came to live with us back in June.  

That's something of a win too, wouldn't you say? (edited to add: Except for the part where he tries to type the blog post.  I'm fairly certain I could have managed it myself.)

SA

"Westful" Wednesday

Hello, Wednesday!  We love you for so many reasons.  You are the middle of the week and, if we can get past you, we are heading towards the weekend.  Our early dismissal days from school for staff development come on Wednesdays and kids leave early.  We are often bored by the staff development, but we love the idea of a quiet afternoon.  We also sometimes schedule "doctor's appointments" on days when we were supposed to be on furlough and then we get to leave early instead of sitting through things like How To Proctor The Upcoming State Assessments when the furlough days don't happen.  

Then there is the Wednesday Night Bullet Post and we love that.  Easy-peasy.  No theme other than the random.  Wednesdays are nice.  Here's your bullet points for this particular version of the day:

*My "appointment" went rather well today.  I enjoyed it very much.

*Since the tail end of my headache was still thumping around in my noggin, it was probably a good idea to have suddenly remembered that I had that "appointment."

*What I forgot about was the maintenance scheduled for my building.  They left a notice the other day telling us that our cars would need to be moved for further snow removal and scraping of pavement.

*That sort of put a crimp in the nap I had planned.  Wouldn't want to miss the plows coming, after all.

*It is such a rare thing...

*There were three cars in the lot when the plows arrived.  One of them was moved per instructions.

*Two were not.

*I don't know why I bother.  

*Hating my neighbor right now.  Once again, my space was left unscraped due to the plow being unable to work around the idiot parked next to me.  

*But I got to wave to the plow guy.  

*He didn't wave back.

*There was rampant knitting on the "dishcloth" (with sleeves).  Thus far, the Dark Forces That Hate It When I Knit Anything With Sleeves And From Whom I Must Hide My Knitting seem to be otherwise occupied.

*For the moment.  We all know that they will wander by any day now to smite the heck out of me.

*I watched a great deal of Hulu today.  Hulu makes me happy...

*The kitties were rather surprised to see me home so early.  The Big, Fluffy Kitty was easily settled back down with the dispensing of treats followed (eventually) by that nap I was talking about.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty was far too overjoyed to be distracted by this tactic and he doesn't like treats from a bag anyway.  He's more of a "straight from the can" kind of feller.

*There was much capering and cavorting upon seeing Mommy come in the door.

*Then he collapsed in his Dollar Store Cat Cave.

I iz awfoo tired...

*The downside to an afternoon off is the part where you have to face the next day.  Apparently, I have to go back to school.

* ::sigh::

*I don't care for working.  I've given it a shot.  I don't think it is a good fit for me.

*I think I will call in "disillusioned" for the rest of the school year.

*That would probably involve lots and lots of "appointments."

*I think I can spin it into something that will fly.  

Just in case that doesn't work out, I should probably get the coffee maker programmed for an early morning drip-start.  I might also want to consider planning some sort of outfit.  I don't mind going to work in my pajamas at all.  I can't say the same for my colleagues and administrators.  They might prefer seeing me a little more put-together.  

The one downside to Wednesday is that I have early morning bus duty on Thursday.  No day is perfect, I suppose...

SA

Remembering To Forget

I awoke this morning with a headache.  Not just a regular headache.  A real Noggin Knocker.  It persisted through the a.m. infusion of caffeine and kept right on a-thumpin' as I began my school day.  It was the kind of headache that forces a teacher to stumble down to the nurse's office during her preparatory period to beg for ibuprofen and promise her firstborn son in return for that sweet, sweet OTC relief.

The school nurse, being a medical professional, is fully aware of the fact that a firstborn is probably not forthcoming.  Nor would she want any of the fruit of my aged loins, come to think of it.  She has her own.  But she tipped the little pills into my hand anyway and, for that, I love her.

Even if they didn't really work...

By 9:00, I had made it through two meetings and was sitting blearily at my desk.  Mine eyes were attempting to focus on the laptop screen so I could finish typing up the paperwork on that new student that I got a couple of weeks ago.  I needed to wrap that up so I could do the paperwork on the new student they handed me today before I got started on the paperwork for the new student I will be getting at tomorrow morning's meeting.  (the one that starts at 8:00 assuming I can get my own class settled down enough to go to the other school and receive this little gift)

In the dock was a closed window containing an email to my principal.  I had written it bright and early but hadn't dared to send it.  I needed some sort of sign before I did that, something to tell me that I was doing the right thing.  When you are thinking of suddenly "remembering" that you have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and asking if you can skip the afternoon meeting on How To Proctor The Upcoming And Very Important State Assessment, you should probably make sure that you have your ducks in a row.  And those ducks should maybe look frail enough to justify your taking a half-sick day.

I couldn't help but believe that I might be able to pull it off at that point.  And if I couldn't, I was willing to take hostages.  Sheepie is feeling somewhat "done."  Sheepie has been very much present in her classroom this year.  Sheepie is taking tomorrow afternoon off and that is final.

Sheepie hit "send."

I still doubted myself.  But later, when I asked my staff if they would take notes for me at the meeting, one of them said, "No problem.  Frankly, I don't know why you don't take every other day off at this point.  I would if I were in your shoes..."

As things tend to go very, very badly when I am not present in the classroom, that was something of a ringing endorsement.  I believe that my taking the afternoon off when there will be no students present will do wonders for my willingness to eventually return.  If the staff are on board with this plan, then I guess it's got the green light.

The headache continues to dance merrily away in my skull and is doing so to a wicked bass beat.  I'll take another round of ibuprofen in a bit.  I'll survive.  

Because tomorrow I get to go home early for an appointment that I decided to "remember" that I "forgot."  I'll maybe knit a bit on the "dishcloth" (with sleeves) or perhaps spin some of that merino I've got on the wheel at the moment.  Maybe I will do neither of those things.  I do need to remember to take out the trash and empty the dishwasher before that tower of dirty dishes in the sink topples over onto the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty.  Otherwise, the afternoon is mine to do with as I will.

And I am not ruling out a nap at this point.

SA

Forbidden Furlough

All things budgetary continue to be rather exciting in my school district.  Frankly, half of us don't know whether we are coming or going and I mean that in the most literal sense.

It started several months ago.  The superintendent informed us via email that there were some rather nasty cuts in funding coming and that things were going to get tight.  After much consideration, he and the assistant superintendent decided that furlough days for staff were the answer to this impossible situation.  He visited each school and explained (very, very well) how this would work.  The impact to students would be negligible, administrators at the highest level would take the bulk of the cuts and there was hope we would all survive with our jobs intact.

Okey-dokey.  Send me home.  I'm OK with that.  It's not ideal, but better than unemployment.  Bring on the furlough days!  We're only talking two of 'em and they are scheduled over half days anyway.  We'll make up the staff development requirements later.

However, this represents a rather significant change in our contracts so the teachers union needed to be involved in the decision.  Our duly appointed representatives sent out an email assuring us that they would look into this situation and that our best interests would be sheltered.  "We believe there is another way to do this!" they cried.

Things got quiet for a while.  Apparently there was a great deal of thinking going on.  Finally, the union said:

We are still thinking.  But we are certain that there is another way.  Yup.  It's right there on the tips of our tongues...

The office of the superintendent responded quickly:

Why yes.  There is another way.  Two ways, in fact.  We call them Plans B and C.  In plan B, we implement a Reduction In Force (a RIF) and all these nice people go home for a very long time without paychecks.  Plan C is a little different in that we RIF other people instead of the first group we mentioned.  See?  We have plans.  Oodles of them!

The union rose up and declared:

We must think about this for even longer now!  How can you not see that there is another way?

I believe I know where the union was going with this and think that they might have been onto something.  However, they never really put anything into actual plan-form so who knows?  We sure didn't.  Hence, it was not really all that surprising when the union membership overwhelmingly voted to approve the furlough days rather than go home and eat dryer lint until the paychecks started coming again.

We all started making plans for our upcoming half day off.  It was set for February 4th.  Then the union reminded us:

The vote only allows us to negotiate the furlough days.  Nothing is set in stone, you silly people.  No go home and wonder about it.  That'll take your mind off all the worry...

So we did.  There wasn't anything else we could do.  Some of us probably should have used that time to cancel the appointments we made for the half-furlough day.  But we didn't because we knew that if we did, we'd be sitting at home on Wednesday afternoon wondering just what to do with ourselves and unable to afford therapy because of the furlough-day-pay-cuts.

Today (Monday, the 2nd) we received word that we will be working the full day on Wednesday.  It is a half day for students and the staff development is back on schedule.  Yay for the full paychecks!  Boo for not being able to plan for anything because of all the thinking, discussing and negotiating.

Don't even get me started on the worrying part.  The fact that the union could still vote down the furlough days and cause an avalanche of lay-offs is something I do not wish to contemplate.  My job is safe at this point.  But I can't imagine doing it without a planning period since there will be no Globals like art or gym.  And what the high school students are going to do about college applications once the Guidance offices close down is a question for the ages.

I'm thinking of taking the afternoon off anyway.  All this pondering and voting has left me weary.  I've taken naught but one sick day this year and have saved enough to make the spending of one negligible.  And, as I've mentioned on several occasions, my job is safe.  No one wants it.  Unemployment would be preferable to most.

We'll see.  But don't be too surprised if, come Wednesday's noon hour, you find me sitting at home and spending some quality time with a certain "dishcloth"

The one with the sleeves...

SA

Public Service Announcement

I often feel very much alone in my concerns regarding the coming Zombie Apocalypse.  Think I am exaggerating?  Just go out and mention the possibility of the dead strolling down Main Street or ask how everyone's Zombie Invasion Preparedness Plan is coming along.  See how that goes for you.

You will soon find yourself alone.  At least until the nice lady from Social Services comes to check on you.  Then you will be too busy helping her to fill out that Mental Status Checklist to really be all that concerned about where the zombies are at the moment.

I worry about zombies.  They scare me.  I also find them to be intrusive and unwilling to acknowledge the importance of personal space.

Hence, you can only imagine the degree to which my little heart soared upon receiving all your emails about the recent situation in Texas.  To know that you took time out of your busy days to not only watch and learn, but to make sure that I was aware of this development made me feel both validated and loved.  I'm sure that everyone has already taken the time to review the facts in this case, but there are always one or two who are very busy right now or who just can't be bothered.  If you fall into either category, I am helpfully offering you a chance to get with the program.

Rabbitch was the first to alert me to this situation and this is the link she included in her timely email.  I thank each of you who also contributed to my ability to analyze the matter.

 I am of the opinion that the resourceful hackers involved in this incident were really just running a drill and, as such, should be honored for their forward thinking.  However, I still can't help but sense that there is a bit of lightheartedness on the part of the general public.  "Oh, what a delightful joke!" seems to be the consensus.  

It is that kind of thinking that is going to put us on the menu come the End Of Days.  I need you guys to be better than that.  I need you in top form.  Sure, this time it was a drill.  (Or a "false alarm" for those of you who insist on being rational in the face of construction signs trying to be helpful.)  But next time...who knows?  

All I'm saying is this:  when the sign says to run, you should run.  Complacency is as much the enemy as the zombies.  It is the appetizer.  You are the main course.  And when I say, "you," I do mean you.  I will be in my underground bunker with my stockpile of rations.  It is also highly likely that I will have forgotten the can opener so I guess I'll see you out there at some point.  But not until I've worked through my supply of individually wrapped snack cakes.  Which should take about a week...

Until then, I suppose I should just keep knitting.  One can't live one's entire life looking ahead to the grimness of the future.  The whole purpose of a plan is to feel safe enough to not worry about it all, right?  The "dishcloth" (with sleeves) moves forward at a sluggish pace but without further drama.  I have decided to ignore the weird and oddly-resistant-to-closing hole from yesterday.  I'll stitch it up later and pretend that I am merely reinforcing the fabric.  That should work nicely.  It also allows me to keep knitting and not have to rip back again.  I'm a fan of the not ripping back right now.

And, if it doesn't work out, I can bring the dishcloth (with sleeves) with me when I head to the bunker.  It's not like anyone is going to see me or my poorly knit garment until it is time to go get a new can opener.

And, at that point, will you really care about well knit dishcloths?

SA

Dishcloth Review

When last we left our Intrepid Knitter, she had cautiously announced the start of a new project.  As she has had a rather ridiculous amount of difficulty with patterns of this nature since starting the blog and knitting publicly, she opted to go with the stealth approach.  The project goes by the code name: Dishcloth (with sleeves).

I have had exactly one successful sweater come off the needles since I started blogging.  This is due to The Dreaded Blog Sweater Curse and it is not something to be taken lightly.  Dark forces are at work here.  The last completed sweater went before the blogging audience back in the summer months so I thought that it might be a good idea to review the rules.  

Well...there was that little sweater that I knit for Great Nephew Sheep.  I almost hit the mark with that one.  But somewhere between casting on and reaching the neckline, the little booger outgrew it.  I think I would have actually had a winner had my niece not seen fit to give birth to Super Baby...

I think I've tempted fate enough with the set-up here.  Let's all start treading a bit more lightly.  The dark forces have been very much in evidence, you see.  I have already experienced a twisted cast-on and a mysterious hole which proved highly resistant to repair.  Following that, the knitting became twisted again.  You can see where I might be just a wee bit a-scairt at this point.  Why don't we go ahead and discuss those rules I mentioned earlier?

Sheepish Annie's Ritual Words With Which To Foil The Dark Forces Who Hate It When She Knits Things With Sleeves (patent pending):

1.  The item is question is, henceforth, to be referred to as "The Dishcloth."  Dishcloth knitting is perfectly acceptable to the dark forces.  

2.  Photographic evidence will be limited and sporadic.  Once you put something out there on the inter-webs, it is forever and for all.  The dark forces spend a great deal of time Googling.

3.  The "dishcloth" may go away, never to be mentioned again.  We accept this and do not question where it went.  We will all know where it went.  We will be too polite to mention it lest the knitter go mad with sorrow and stain her entire stash with tears.

4.  Should the "dishcloth" come to fruition, there will be great celebrating and comments are expected.  There will be some thumbing of noses at the dark forces, but let's not get carried away.  We may want to knit another "dishcloth" someday and the dark forces have very long memories.  They hold a grudge.  

I hope that these rules are clear and that we can all agree to abide by them until the dishcloth knitting is done.  And by "done" I mean for better or for worse.  I believe I have already mentioned the pitfalls that lie ahead, not the least of which being the limited supply of yarn.  I may not even be able to finish this thing even if the dark forces are off enjoying Spring Break at some moderately priced hotel in Florida...

This situation, of course, leaves me with little in the way of visuals, at least in the knitterly sense of the word.  Sadly, I now have to resort to the Panda Cam widget.  Sorry.  Those of you who cannot bear another image from the San Diego Zoo are excused so you can go somewhere for a cup of coffee and talk about my panda obsession in deliciously snide tones.  I'm cool with that.  I'll probably even join you later to chime in.  I do love a good dish-session!

Just leave the pandas out of it, 'kay?

Happily, the pandas were rather active last night.  They were all cute and playful which is just how I like my pandas.

Awww....

Of course this happy domestic scene degenerated to some degree shortly after I did the screen capture.  There was a bit of a tussle over what I can only imagine was a rather choice stalk of bamboo.  It seemed pretty good-natured, though.  At least I think so.  Pandas always sort of look like they are smiling so it can be hard to tell.  

In fact, the next time I checked, I kind of wondered if maybe the whole thing had been more serious than I'd originally thought.  I hate to believe this, but it very well may be that someone pressed charges.  

Panda Jail.  

It actually looks more like the drunk tank, but I simply cannot bear the thought of a panda hitting rock bottom like that.  I choose to believe that this was more of a misunderstanding and that all the pandas have a solid understanding of what constitutes social drinking.  Otherwise, I don't think I could concentrate on anything else.

Actually, now that I think of it, that could maybe account for the weird hole in the dishcloth...

SA

Regrets

I'm not normally the type of person who wallows in regret.  But, I'm only human and I sometimes can't help but wish I'd made better choices.  For example, I regret not giving myself a little more time this morning.  I thought I'd accounted for everything, but I really didn't give the ice that fell from the sky all night enough credit.  It held my car prisoner quite handily this morning and it took more time than I thought it would to free it.  

I regret not securing the key to my classroom more carefully to the lanyard upon which I hang it.  When you arrive at school in time for morning bus duty but with really only a minute to spare, you don't have the time to go hunting for that key that you just heard drop to the floor of the car.  You also aren't going to find it so there is really no point in wasting precious seconds.  You may even accidentally hit the panic button on your key fob when you lean into the back seat and set off the car alarm in front of a billion witnesses.  You should just toss your stuff in the closet next to your securely locked classroom and hustle down to the cafeteria.  Someone will unlock your room...eventually.

And don't even get me started on the decision to not clear the snow off the top of the car before leaving this morning.  Sure, the idea that the sun would eventually melt it wasn't entirely wrong.  But it didn't choose to fall from the roof until I was pulling out of the parking lot, late for a meeting 40 minutes away.  The resulting avalanche on my windshield was very impressive.  And who doesn't want to be the most hated person on the Maine Turnpike as gigantic, half-frozen snow clots fly from your hood at the cars behind you?  Good times...

Then there are the half-regrets.  The things that could have gone badly or still have the potential to do so.  Before I left for my meeting (late) the phone in my office rang.  It was the assistant principal wishing to discuss an issue with one of my students who had downloaded some, um..."inappropriate" material to his school laptop.  A great deal of it.  It is a delicate matter and required a great deal of discussion.  As I pondered our options, I said,

I mean, he's a really good kid but, sheesh!  You turn on his computer and all of a sudden it's like Bwah-Chicka-Wow-Wow.

The latter, done to the right beat, is the Universal Porno Soundtrack and, therein, lies the problem.  I believe there are moments of clarity in one's life.  These are good moments where you see everything exactly as it should be and the path is clear.  I like these moments.  But I sometimes wish that they occurred to me before I Bwah-Chicka-Wow-Wow the assistant principal, a man who is my boss.  That is the sort of thing that really could go horribly wrong.  Think about it.  It's not too difficult to see the possible outcomes.

Fortunately, the assistant principal happens to have a very good sense of humor.  While I clearly surprised him a bit with my sound effects, his bark of laughter indicated that I had dodged a bullet.  Good thing.  I was late for a meeting and didn't have the time to go to Sensitivity Training or read that Why Sexual Harassment Is Bad manual.

I say these things because I have cast on for a new project.  It is another one of those projects that has all the potential of a Regret In The Making.  It is also one of those things that we will only call a Dishcloth With Sleeves because we know that the dark forces are watching.  They do not like it when I knit things with sleeves, and we must be careful lest we attract their attention.

There is a real threat here, people.  I've already had to rip back due to an unfortunate twist in the yarn.  I am also 73.5% sure that I will run out of yarn before the finish line and there is no more of it to be had.  It really is a disaster waiting to happen.

But, if it works, it will be freakin' awesome, you guys!  Totally and completely awesome!  And if it doesn't, the yarn is alpaca.  Let's face it, the worst twenty hours you have spent knitting with alpaca are still pretty good ones, right?  It's worth the potential regret.

I'm still going to play carefully, though.  And maybe toss a Bwah-Chicka-Wow-Wow at the dark forces just to distract them...

SA

Deep Thoughts

OK.  The thoughts aren't exactly deep.  It is, after all, the night of the Wednesday Night Bullet Post and nothing about that is ever all that soul searching.  But the snow is deep.  Very deep.  So deep that I am considering going all "bear" on the situation and hibernating until the seasons have something better to offer.  

While I continue to ponder that course of action, let us look at the bullet points for this week:

*For those of you who have been on the edges of your various seats, wondering just how it all went, take heart!  I will now share.

*Because I suspected it was going to be a snow day today, I had no problem whatsoever getting out of bed.  I leaped out from under the covers like a nine year old!

*Hence, I was able to see my school district scrolling across the screen at 5:00 this morning.  

*It is a weird convolution of bodily chemistry that makes us more willing to arise in the morning when we don't believe we have to go anywhere.  Tomorrow I'll be right back to the same sluggishness come 5:00 in the a.m.

*I went out there long enough to take out the trash and to move my car.  That's it.  Lots of snow.  

*Sheepie stays inside.

*Sheepie is not going to be able to find her car tomorrow.  

*Sheepie is going to be late for morning bus duty since there is no way school will be cancelled again.  

*Now that Sheepie thinks of it, she also needs to stop for gas.

*Maybe Sheepie will be very late and get fired.  That would solve the whole getting-up-in-the-morning problem...

*A snow day is very good for all things fibery.  I finally managed to get a daylight shot of the yarn I finished spinning over the weekend:

The color is still off, but I'm tired of trying to capture its beauty.  Some things were just not meant for bloggy eyes, I suppose.

*The fiber was part of a comment contest prize package sent to me by Jane a while back.

*Very soft, very squooshy, very pretty!  And it spun like a dream...

*Very happy yarn!

*Speaking of Happy, I also finished a pair of socks today!  

Happy Pink Socks, no less!

*And I finished them in time to wear on that second trip out to move the car.  

*When I say that these socks make me happy, you have no idea.  "Happy" may even be an understatement.

*I may have already mentioned the snow.  Not sure I brought up the cold...

*This WNBP really does seem to be a salute to Jane.  That yarn was also in the prize package she sent me.

*It's been all Jane, all the time around here for a while!

*Today, Jane kept my feet warm.

*I got have waffles for breakfast this morning.  Snow days are nice.

*Making up snow days is not so nice.  I have to go to school on those days and I don't get waffles.  

*If you hate me right now for being able to stay home, just sit tight.  Pretty soon I will be all sad and waffle-less.  

*And it will be really hot.  And I'll still be teaching children who do not wish to be in school any more than I do.

*I give you permission to laugh at that point.  Just not to my face.  I will probably be a little touchy.  

*To reduce the chances that people will laugh at me in June, I am not going to mention the nice nap I took this afternoon.  That would only add fuel to the fire.

*Cold medication.  I got all sleepy and couldn't help myself...

*Seriously, you guys.  I have no idea how I am going to find my car tomorrow.  This concerns me.

*Not enough to go out into what is now sleet to clear it off a bit, mind you.  Just enough to worry about it, is all.

*I am so totally not going out there.  Weather is not my friend.

*Although it does do a nice job of keeping me home with the knitting.

It seems as though it is time to take another dose of the sleepy cold medicine.  If nothing else, it makes me not think about my buried car anymore.  I will deal with it tomorrow, hopefully well before departure time since I have that pesky morning bus duty at 7:00. 

But that is tomorrow and very far away.  For now, I will just enjoy having had a day at home and not going out in this mess.  Bus duty and buried cars don't fit into that mindset.

And maybe we will have one of those Delayed Starts tomorrow.  That would solve the problem...

SA