Sunday, December 05, 2010

Her Majesty Rules

It was a rough week.  A long week.  A week spent without the joy that is babbling, meaningless, shallow entertainment.  I'm talking TV, people.  I had none and it was no kind of life for anyone.

When my big box o' happy blew up a week ago Friday, I knew it was gonna be a trial.  However, I made myself stand firm and not rush out to purchase a new one until payday arrived and I felt more comfortable regarding the availability of liquid assets.  This was very responsible of me, but I missed my daily dose of programming.  And believe me when I tell you that I can tolerate a pretty high dosage.

I like to think I used the time well.  I watched two seasons worth of Twin Peaks courtesy of the internet and spent many an hour researching new televisions.  I think it was the latter that finally got to me, though. I scrolled through so much information that my head was beginning to bulge.  This was not a good look for me.

I finally realized that my best bet was to visit the local electronics store rather than try and brave the holiday shopping crowds at the department stores.  I needed someone in a crisp blue shirt who could help me wade through the vast array of choices.  I kind of knew what I wanted and my budget was set.  But I know me...in the face of overwhelming options, I tend to crack and just buy the first thing that I trip over or break in my panicked state.

Hence, I staggered into the brightly lit store at 3:45 in the afternoon and gave my most piteous look to the first blue-shirt I saw.  Right on cue, he asked if I was looking for something specific.  I had my reply at the ready.

Yes. I'm glad you asked.  I need someone to tell me what I want.

Things got a little dicey for just a moment.  Little Blue Shirt's eyes widened and he backed up just enough to be out of crazy range.  Then he allowed that it might be best if he went to get someone from the TV department.  "They are the experts in this sort of thing," he mumbled as he scurried away.

Taller Blue Shirt arrived in short order and he clearly had more experience with frazzled middle aged ladies who have lived without TV for a week.  He listened to what I had to say regarding my needs and budget and waited patiently while I babbled about how I might be flexible on either count if only it might make television happen in the next few minutes.

And let me state for the record that the world is in need of more handsome, young blue-shirts who will gently (but firmly) lead bleary eyed women away from $2000.00 televisions and over to the ones they can afford in spite of the possible sales potential.

With Taller Blue Shirt's help, I was able to realign my thinking process and get myself back under control.  A very reasonably priced TV, with LCD-LED, 1080p and very well-leveled sound was soon being loaded into my car and I was on my way.

The world makes sense again.  There is TV.  Whenever I want it.  I can (and did) watch a movie.  I can mute the commercials unless I am busy or they are wicked funny.  I can make the picture bigger or smaller depending upon my whims.

I suppose my week without TV wasn't the worst thing that could have happened.  I knit three hats this week.  Of course, the last one was done in a day and that was with TV, but I was in pretty good practice by then so the data might be just a bit skewed.  Lots of people don't have TV and they all appear to be very happy and well-adjusted.  Maybe it was even a good thing for me to not have television.  Perhaps what they say is true and it really is an Idiot Box.  It is entirely possible that I and others like me are having our brains slowly sapped away.  There might even be millions of us all getting more idiotic by the minute.  Dear God in heaven...I might even qualify as their queen by this point!!

But, if that is the case, Her Majesty is very happy right now...

SA

11 comments:

Gracey is not my name.... said...

I could not go without tv. The majority of the time it's background noise. Right now, one of the Harry Potter movies is playing in the next room, but when I want to watch something it is there. I bow to the "idiot box" and it's hold on me...

Donna Lee said...

I'm glad you found a nice blue shirted individual to help you. It's funny how you can get used to not having a tv (really, you can and not lose your mind). It's so easy to get sucked into the tv world.

trek said...

If I tell you that I don't watch television, will you still be my friend? 'Cause the only time I turn on the set is when we pop in a DVD - and that isn't all that often...

Now, with respect to the dishwasher with the crunching, grinding motor sounds...

KnittyBanter said...

Technology has gone from being a luxury of convenience to being a necessity. I spent my weekend placating the Macintosh Gods to let my pre-Intel G5 live another year.

(It wasn't booting. We'll skip the gories about the 20 hours of diagnosing, file organizing, data archiving, DVD burning, reinstalling and geek-hacking and just say, it worked.) While waiting for my precious data to imprint onto the DVDs (hey, it took years to collect all those sock patterns!), I had the opportunity to reflect on life without the Mac.

Frankly, it sucked in a way no life should ever suck. Kind of like last year's coffeemaker disaster. So I hear you on the TV. Knitting and baking and playing with kitties is nice and all, but it's a challenge to survive long without the favorite technology in place.

Kath said...

You already know I don't have a tv and just use hulu. But oh lordy yes indeed the world does need more handsome young blue-shirts to steer us in the proper direction. Wish they had blue-shirts in some of my favorites stores! One has red-shirts, but they are a rather mixed bag. :/

Karen said...

Congratulations on the new TV. Enjoy!

Elaine said...

You can make the picture get bigger or smaller....???

Knitting Linguist said...

Happiness is an important thing. Especially in the run-in to Christmas break. :)

kmkat said...

If you need TV, then TV you must have. I cannot live without my adjustable bed and extra-bright reading lamp, so who am I to judge? Glad you were able to find a helpful and knowledgeable and sympathetic man in a blue shirt. They can be hard to find...

Julia G said...

Watching TV and mindless hat knitting -- perfect way to hibernate away the winter. We didn't get flurries yet, but just about everyone else did today, which helps put me in the mood for woolly gift knitting.

Mia said...

Oh yeah, flat screen LCD TV rocks ;) Things might seem more interesting on there than ever before :) Good for you!