In Sneeze Time

I felt pretty darned good on Thursday. I hadn't given it much thought until my Cheerful Teaching Assistant mentioned that she was exceptionally tired that day. That's when I realized that I was rather perky for a Thursday. In fact, so hale and hearty was I that I made a point of saying so. Because who doesn't like it when the conversation gets turned around to someone else's good fortune? I'm kind that way. I always like to take people's minds off their troubles.

My refreshing outlook on life continued after the school day was done. I stopped off at the local Department Store Of Never Ending Goods to pick up a few supplies and a movie for the kids to watch on Monday while I'm out at a training. I also found an emergency water purification system on the clearance rack. This, of course, has little to do with anything. I only mention it because:

1. It demonstrates that I was feeling good enough to peruse the clearance racks rather than just make my weary way home for the day

and

2. If one is the kind of person who would buy an emergency water purification system from the clearance rack then one is not going to miss an opportunity to mention it even if it doesn't have a darned thing to do with the story.

Once, home, I carried all my shopping bags, school paraphernalia and my over-stuffed purse up the stairs in one trip. I opened the door and deftly maneuvered around the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty who was determined to trip me up for his afternoon entertainment. I set down my bags and, suddenly, I sneezed.

Just like that...I was sick.

Sneezes vary in duration. By comparison, this was a short one. It wasn't the kind where you stop dead in your tracks, raise your arms so you can flap your hands, crinkle your nose a few times in anticipation, announce to all and sundry, "I feel a sneeze coming on," and then go, "AH...AH...AHH......CHOOOOOOO!" But, just for the sake of argument, let's say it was that kind of sneeze. I still don't think that this is a reasonable amount of time in which to go from "perfectly well" to "sick enough to scare small children."

Apparently it is, though. Who knew?

That sneeze was followed by a billion more and I'm on my second box of tissues in as many days. I'm shivering and aching and not afraid to let everyone know this. When I arrived at school yesterday, I blamed all of the following in this order:

1. My Cheerful Teaching Assistant who sneezed the day before and covered her mouth with her hand instead of the crook of her elbow like we are supposed to.

2. The kid I call The Stalker because he has been in my class every year since fourth grade. He didn't much care that I blamed him and told me that I was mistaken because he never gets sick. I responded by licking my finger and rubbing it all over his pen. This seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do given that he called himself out sick just last week. Upon further consideration, though, I felt kind of badly about that and gave him candy. I'm supposed to be the mature one in the mix...

3. The school nurse because she gave my flu shot to some kid who probably didn't appreciate it like I would have.

I blamed these people and did so in my outside-my-head-voice. I don't care if I sound crazy. I have the plague and there will be suffering or my name isn't Needy, Whiny, Sheepish Annie!!!!! No one seemed all that concerned about my rampant laying of blame, though. I'm starting to get the impression I may have done this before and that it is no longer all that interesting.

It made me feel a little better, though. Not physically better, mind you. I'm dying here. But, on an emotional level, it was quite satisfying.

I've knit a little bit this weekend, but not much. Mostly, I've been enjoying the knitting of days past. More specifically, I've been rather grateful to my new hot water bottle cozy. When you are all shivery and miserable, there is nothing quite like a soothing hot water bottle nestled in its own little jacket. I don't even mind the dangling threads I haven't yet trimmed off the buttons. That minor detail doesn't affect the operation of a hot water bottle one little bit.

It took me a week or so to knit a hot water bottle cozy. It is going to take me considerably longer to knit the simple hat I'm working on. But a killer cold? That's quick and easy to achieve.

In sneeze time, anyway...

SA